The Windswept Days Have Returned...

[Guest]

A gust of wind blew the military skirt that Hild was wearing, as she stood in the breeze that covered the roof of the Central City HQ. It had already been over a month since she took the Fuhrer's chair, elections had been and gone, and she was allowed to stay in power, surprisingly. The girl smiled softly, and stared out over the city with her remaining eye and a careful gaze. What a place, Central really inspired her thoughts. But no matter what happened, she knew that she wasn't alone in this world, and that kept her calm.

Maybe that's why I'm still Fuhrer today. Maybe it's because my mind has been calmed by Aurel's presence. He's my brother, and I care for him. I need him. She sighed, and turned to check the footsteps that came up from behind.

"Lady Fuhrer, your audience has been requested in your office."

"Thank you." As the man hurriedly left her presence, Hild sighed and turned into the wind again. There was her quip with being Fuhrer... Nobody would stand by her and simply... talk, anymore. She had only her brother in this world, maybe it was high time she found a way to fix that. Find another person to open up to, rather than just Aurel. The girl sighed again, and started to walk down the stairs, hollow claps resounding with every step she took.

A couple of minutes later, she reached her office, and opened the door to see the familiar figure standing there.

"Why, hello there. To what do I owe this... pleasure?"

[Aurelius Schwartz]

There was someone else in her office. Someone. Else. Aurel pried the door open with obvious reluctance. To have to deal with someone else... it was unavoidable but... Aurel cringed as he waltzed elegantly up to the random guy who dared impede upon his plans and reached a tentative hand up to the guy's shoulder. It shook slightly, but it did its job of getting his attention. Aurel set his wrath on the important-looking man who seemed too cowardly to meet the eyes of the Fuhrer's brother. Without a word, Aurel carted the horror-stricken man from his sister's presence and locked him outside.

Still a bit shaken himself, Aurel stopped his stampede at Hild's feet. "I--" Aurel raised his mismatched eyes from the wall across from him to her single eye of blue. "I went up to the roof--you weren't there...and--" He took a deep breath, those eyes of his holding such a cold, detached aura. It emitted from them seemingly like waves of red and blue, reaching her only as they crashed. "I started thinking that if I just told you what to do, you w-wouldn't need me anymore." His eyes were scary now, only growing in intensity as his mind wrapped further and further around the idea he had as he gazed down from atop the roof. "It would be better if I had jumped first before telling you this, but the pl..an...you need to know it first. And--and I feel I should tell you. I can't take it any longer."

[Guest]

Hild... just stood there, dumbstruck by her brother's words. Everything he said, every syllable, every word, every bloody sound, went into Hild's mind. He'd contemplated suicide, again? She gasped, and stepped forwards a couple of steps.

"Aurel... What are you-" She stopped in her tracks. He thought she didn't need him? She was surprised at that, completely surprised. But then he spoke some more, something about a plan of his. What sort of plan? Her eye stared carefully at her brother, but she could see something... He was breaking down, almost as if he was... about to cry? She couldn't take it anymore, and ran straight for Aurel, hugging him and holding him as close as she could to herself, tears beginning to fall out of her eye.

"Brother, don't say things like that. I couldn't live with myself if you died. And... and... I'll always need you! You're my big brother!" She stood there, just holding him. She couldn't think of anything else to say, and was pretty damn glad that her PA was out of the room.

"Brother... B-Brother..."

[Aurelius Schwartz]

"This is the opposite of what I wanted," Aurel said sadly, lowering his eyes to stare at the pristine carpet. When she came, he let himself be embraced and even went so far as to reach his own hands around her softly. Gripping his sister tightly, he let out a pained breath. Instead of wiping away her tears, he reached a hand lightly to brush against her eye patch. "You won't let me go?" He asked quietly, voice shaking, "Why? I--I...caused this. And all--" He let his hand slide from her eye patch and the one around her waist fall to his side. Aurel clenched his fists. "--these people...I just can't take it. I'm not meant to exist in this world. Everything is a struggle...breathing is a struggle..." He shut his eyes and hung his head, raven hand falling down over his face, shielding it from Hild's eye and the world. Why was he explaining this to her, he wondered? Never before had he shared these thoughts with anyone. Even his own fa--no...even his stepfather hadn't asked. The multiple trips the the emergency room weren't enough to bring forth questions or inquiries. No one bothered to know of his struggle...not even Hild had.

Aurel dropped to his knees and crumbled into a ball, letting his head fall against the floor in front of him. It would be better if he just died. Hild wouldn't be Fuhrer now, but it would have been better if that day...in front of the train...if he would had died then. Why had he failed so many times to die? Was he supposed to live--supposed to continue this existence? Why? For what purpose? Hild...she-- He raised his head slowly, slitting his eyes of contrasting colors open. "You're being selfish..." He sighed and clutched at his bangs with the hand that wasn't holding him up. "What else...is there left for me to do? When..." He dragged his hand from his hair to cover over his red eye. "...can it end?"

[Guest]

Hild wasn't understanding anything. Nothing that was going on, not one part of it was registering properly. She sighed, and put a soft hand on her brother's shoulder.

"Aurel... Aurelius..." She stood up and looked down at him with a steely gaze. She watched him carefully, before taking a few steps back, anger welling up inside her. She stepped back further, and put her hands on to her hips, poking her tongue out at him.

"Aurelius Carston Schwartz! I don't know what you think you're doing, but if anything, you're the one being selfish! Understand? Because if you killed yourself, you would ruin a lot more than just my life! You can't just take the easy way out! Suicide is NOT the answer!" She was riled up now, her love for her brother was too much for her to bear - she was pissed off enough as it was. First he'd kicked out the guy for her meeting, and then he'd gone and proclaimed that he wanted to end it!

She knelt down by her brother, and caressed his face with her hand.

"Maybe you do want to die, but there's too much here for you to do it now..." She had suddenly changed to her usual cute and caring face. She loved Aurel, and didn't know what to do with him. There was medication for this sort of thing, but she wanted that as a last resort...

[Aurelius Schwartz]

He had made her angry. He knew it was coming, but...when it did, it was just so painful. Everything hurt so much; it was worse than anything. Why? Why did he have to go through this? Why just him, alone? No, it was better that he was alone. He couldn't wish this kind of suffering on anyone. Despite all this, he found himself laughing: crazy maniacal laughter that resounded throughout her enclosed office. He removed his hand from his face and raised his head to see her expression with shadowed eyes. He was being selfish? Well, okay. That could be so. Aurel wasn't exactly familiar with anything pertaining to himself; he had always distanced himself from it out of fear. Fear of...well, this. Maybe he wanted to die? Where had she been all his life--all those painful years of striving onward for her sake? Hadn't she known when he jumped in front of a train--when he stabbed out his own eye? What then was the reason for the loss of hers?

"What..." Aurel started, fearing the answer with great clarity. He shut his eyes tightly, not bothering to hide his pained expression. "...is the answer then?" He took a shuddering breath. "What...would you have me do?" What was there left to do, what could his purpose be? Aurel dropped his head again in defeat, and pushed back the sobs building in him. He couldn't even die? He wasn't even allowed that? It was too sad... Life was so cruel to him. How would he survive like this...it just wasn't possible? He clutched his head, trying to rewrite his thoughts--trying to drag himself from the hell of his emotions and ideals. It never worked. All his life was a battle against himself and the smothering people around him. He hated this world. He was going to recreate it in Hild's name, but it was just too hard to go on. It was the limit...this was his limit. He couldn't take it anymore! Just like that time before... Briefly, he wondered how his stepfather had felt when he received the news that his adopted son had thrown himself on the train tracks, but had somehow survived. He always lived...somehow. Why couldn't he just die!?

Gun. He had one. It was hidden in his black trench coat in the secret pocket. Emergencies only. This was an emergency. He was going to lose his mind if it didn't stop now. The ignorance...the greed, the oblivious bliss of the everyday human... Wars for no reason, slaughter for the sake of money... The heavy metal was shakily pointed at his head, clutched tightly in his hand. There was no prevention in this. If he pulled the trigger, his brain would stop... The world would disappear forever. Peace would be achieved. Hild would be lifted of his burden and eventually get over it. She would be happier; she would find someone to love more--someone who could accept other people. He couldn't be saved after this. This was the end. Last words... he didn't deserve that.

Aurel went to pull the trigger.

[Guest]

Hild sighed. Her brother was endlessly annoying her with his actions. Yeah, it was obvious that he wanted to die, no matter what she told herself. But it seemed that her brother was reacting worse to her sudden outburst of anger than she had originally imagined. She stepped forwards to him, but he suddenly pulled out a gun. She stepped back again, ready to fight if need be, hand already on the trident next to her desk.

"Au... AUREL! NO!" He'd raised it to his temple. Hild couldn't let him do that. Nonononono! She screamed, and raised the single end of the steel trident as high into the air as she could, and brought it down upon his head, knocking the man out, leaving him on the ground, gun left out of his hand. She put a hand to her mouth, and ran off to the medicine cabinet in her bathroom. She had little time before he woke up, but she knew what she had to do. She kept a light sedative in her bathroom, and she was going to have to resort to it. But after Aurel woke up, which meant that she had to get it into his system without him knowing... This was going to be difficult, so very, very difficult. She held the needle up, and nodded.

"I'm sorry, brother. But I need to do this for your own good." She knelt down by him, waiting for the exact moment that he woke up. That's when the needle would enter, and the sedative would take effect.

[Aurelius Schwartz]

Aurel woke up and his immediate thoughts were that he wasn't dead. If he were dead, Hild wouldn't be right there. Unless she was dead too, but that was impossible... So he failed again... How!? Ugh his head hurt so much... But then a new sort of pain entered his system: he felt a sharp prick deep in his arm. And before his muddled consciousness could register what was happening, it all flowed away. Trying with tenacious effort to grab hold of reality, it spiraled down the drain. He didn't even have the chance to ask why; he merely felt something hot streaming through his veins. Then it was all over. He wasn't dead; Aurel was worse than dead.

"Hild..." He murmured, trying to sit up and failing utterly. Everything felt surreal...the world was floating and yet there was no world. This confused him. There was something wrong that he couldn't deal with anymore, but it had gone. There was quiet--silence that weighed down his blood and made his body feel heavy. But he couldn't hold to it before it too was gone into the abyss of mild confusion. But still, he felt he had to know--had to understand this. There was a change, but what was it that was missing? Barely...he felt barely alive--as if reality was an illusion--a waking dream. He barely knew himself--hardly felt himself as a part of this reality. This floating world... where had it come from? "What...happened? Why do you..." He lost his train of thought suddenly and blinked mismatched eyes at her stupidly. He noted--or tried--that there were streaks of tears on her face. Aurel reached out a hand to touch them, but halfway he lost the energy and just let it fall shakily. "You look so sad."

[Guest]

She couldn't take it. This was almost as bad as her brother being dead! She turned away from his gaze, trying to avoid the feeling of utter and depressing sadness welling up within. She didn't want this... But it was life that she needed her brother to have.

"I can't let you kill yourself... If I do... What if I need you!? If you were dead... I couldn't stand it! I don't want to be alone!" She cringed up into a ball, tears rolling down her face faster than before. She looked a mess, someone to feel sorry for. She wasn't alone right now... But if she was, then she'd kill herself too!

"If you kill yourself Aurel..." Her face suddenly sobered up, and she wiped the tears off of her face.

"...Then I will do it too." She looked right at her brother, not amused, not kidding or lying. She was deadly serious, and knew exactly what she was doing.

[Aurelius Schwartz]

All Aurel registered was the fact that she didn't answer his question. Instead, she cried more. Why? He blinked mismatching eyes in her relative direction and continued with his dull gaze until she started wiping her tears away in determination. Why? Aurel turned his head slowly, taking in the blurred, twisting room. There didn't seem to be an apparent cause for her sudden change. So why? He continued to lay there utterly confused, and then she started whining at him some more, using words he didn't quite grasp. Aurel didn't get it. What was he doing to her that was so upsetting? He wanted to stop, but he didn't know what to do. For some reason, it was bothering him greatly and it was getting worse because he couldn't find a solution.

Word fragments swirled in his writhing consciousness. "If...Kill yourself"...I will...too" Wh-what?! What had-- A swirl of memories suddenly flooded his mind and burst in a reflection through the windows of his soul. No. He would not allow it. Such insolence--such selfishness. Did she not understand how he felt?! She wasn't even trying. This was too much. Now, more than ever. Why was he still here? He could barely move...it was like hanging between life and death, hanging by the shredded threads of reality. If only he could let go, but his fingers wouldn't move of his own accord, instead, she held fast to them, making sure they always stayed. But he wanted to go. "Let me go!" He wanted to admonish her, but his voice was so lost, he wasn't even sure if it existed anymore. Why did she want to die too? Aurel felt he had no worth, but clearly she was seeing something he didn't. Well, with this fuzzy vision, he wasn't surprised; the most terrifying thing to him was the fact that his heart wasn't racing. He could almost feel it pumping horridly in his throat, but in actuality, Aurel couldn't even tell if it was beating at all. The sweat gathered coldly on his brow, only managing to remind him how helpless he had become. Maybe he had shot himself and survived somehow? Where were the doctors then? He fell off the side of the couch and hit the ground, his head throbbing.

Aurel's eyes screamed at her voicelessly. With what effort he could put out, he clutched the couch under him in apparent frustration. Why couldn't he tell her how ridiculous and immature she was being?! Why since they were children was this the first time he ever wanted to go against her wishes. His whole life...his whole life all he ever wanted was to die. Why wasn't she going to let him have the one thing he desired? Why?! But he couldn't ask even that...

[Guest]

Hild had no intentions of seeing her brother like this. She knelt down by him, and moved her arms underneath, picking up the man as easily as she could, moving him forwards a metre or two and putting him down on the couch. She just about fell on top of the man in her hurry to put him down, but managed to get herself back up onto her feet properly. She sighed softly, and rubbed her forehead.

Why did she do this to Aurel? She loved her brother, but his actions had frustrated her. So she'd taken drastic action, right? She sobbed again, and sat next to him, her hand on his face.

"Aurel, I wish that I could understand... why you're so fascinated with your own death. I mean, you may want to die, but still. You need to consider the feelings of others, Aurel. We love you, despite your quirks. Me, Kida, Ravi-chan. We don't want to see you die." She nodded a couple of times, and stood back up. She was ready to leave, but changed her mind suddenly.

"I can't leave you alone. If the sedative wears off, I won't get to see you again. So I'm standing by your side, and making sure that you live."

Personal life? I just need Aurel...

[Aurelius Schwartz]

"That's right. ...Stay." Aurel gasped breathlessly, his voice a ghost of it's usual elegance. He grasped her sleeve with what strength he had, which wasn't a lot at all. Trying to pull her closer, he failed recurrently and watched with mild fascination as his hand shook like a mini earth quake was pulsing through it. He almost lost his pathetic grip as his focus waned, but held fast with icy fingers. What was wrong with him? This wasn't normal...no, nowhere near. All Hild did was cry, so maybe this was purgatory? Had he succeeded? No, no--listen to what Hild was saying. It shocked him, sending jolts of bewilderment up and down his spine. Sedatives?

"I..." Each word was a struggle... as if his own tongue had betrayed him. "...don't..." He let out a breath and let go of her, throwing an arm over his face. His voice quivered, unseen tears gathering behind closed eyelids. "...never had purpose." He sighed, gathering himself together as best he could before continuing. This time, his words had a more regular flow. "Don't my 'feelings' matter?" She expected him to live surrounded by these people who 'cared', not knowing that they were the very ones he wanted to avoid. They were the very existence that tormented him with their false emotions and selfish notions. It made him sick. This whole world was corrupt. He had managed to walk along the edge of the cliff after Hild lost the sight in her eye, but once he realized how far the drop was, he was tempted again. It always beckoned him, making him wonder how he had even managed to survive up until now.

He tilted his head down into the back of the sofa, long raven hair sprawled out around him like a veil of darkness. Aurel reached blindly for Hild and with renewing strength, pulled her next to him. "I need help."


[He was on the couch >.>; so I'll edit my last post and say he fell off the couch.]

[Guest]

"You're alive."

The words that came out of her mouth... They were random. They had nothing to do with anything. Except for how Hild felt. She sobbed slightly, trying to hold back the tears that were more than ready to pour down her face. She was still cursing herdelf for her weakness - knowing that Aurel was too unstable to be allowed proper freedom. What was with this hatred of humanity? This feeling of no purpose? She was so confused by her brother's actions!

Maybe if he tried to explain himself, instead of just giving cryptic clues... No, he wouldn't do that. The very idea of Aurel was full of mystery in itself. No, there had to be some other way, but for now, Hild would simply shoot him full of sedative so that he remained somewhat calm.

"I know... that you're trying to make life better for me. Making it so that I don't need you... But you have to understand! All this selfishness is mine, I know. But you wishing your own death is selfish too!" Her eyes went down the ground.

"So I'm going to get you a prescription for that sedative. Until you learn, I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO!" Her words were forthright and direct.

[Aurelius Schwartz]

EXIT

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