Something Random!

[Jay Furor]

Plink, plink, plink, plink, plink.

The pitter-patter of sexy green metallic feet, bare, clicking on the ground, signalled the descent of one Colonel Jay Furor down the iron staircase of Central, from her high-up fancy office, down to the lower levels, where the little peoples' offices were. In one hand, she casually swung a nicely adorned basket, contained within, much bacon and chunks of last night's turducken, as well as two small fried birds. Maybe pigeons, she couldn't recall. Oh, and store-bought biscuits. Not scones, because while Jay MAY be getting over her anti-Cretan racism, she STILL could NOT bring herself to buy scones. She demanded that Cretan tea-shop guy sell her BISCUITS. AND NOT COOKIES EITHER, BISCUITS. Oh, and a pretty pink bow~ Who was all this for, you may ask? Why, one Alaina LeClair, a newish recruit at the splendid HQ of Central!~ She was, of course, not the head of Central, but as the highest ranking female officer at Central HQ, it was her DUTY to play the role of welcome-wagon! Because men can't cook half as beautifully as her!

She soon reached her desired location, an office that looked like... Well, every OTHER office! But it was speshul, because Jay was welcoming the owner of said office to Central HQ. As such, she stared at the fancy brass knocker on the door, standard on all office doors. Then the buzzer/doorbell. Then to her hand, with which she could knock and enter. Then she smiled and kicked open the door, anyways. "Hiya newbie!~ WELCOME TO CENTRAL HQ~" Flopping down the basket, without wasting time introducing herself, she flopped down on the couch, and stared at the girl who hapopened to be in the room with her. Giving a wolf-whistle and a grin, she pointed at her. "I get to work with you?~ Lucky me, hahaha~ Heeeeeey sexy lady, umm... I don't speak Xingese, iunno the rest of the song!~" And at that, she paused to let the insanity sink in...

[Alaina LeClair]

Alaina stared around her new office. Being a new militant in Amestris certainly was new and different and there were still a lot of things that she didn’t know, but she was glad to finally be able to relax in her office and get used to things around her. Quiet music played softly from a radio, filling the air with peace. Scented candles flickered from atop shelves in the room, causing the air to smell faintly like lavender.
Alaina sat back in her chair and sighed happily, one day of rest and relaxation after a hectic time getting used to everything. Yep, this was the life. So nice and peaceful. Or not. Just as Alaina closed her eyes, someone blasted into her room. Jumping faster than anyone had ever been known to move ever before, Alaina jumped from her chair with a light scream and pointed her gun at this new person.
Hiya newbie!~ WELCOME TO CENTRAL HQ~
What the heck was going on? Alaina lowered her gun and took in the new person. She tried not to stare at the metallic legs and arm that this new person adorned but found herself staring regardless.
”Um….hello there….person. I am Alaina. Though I suppose you knew that when you BLASTED DOWN MY DOOR! Ahem…” Alaina sighed and pushed back her bangs. “Anywho. Who might you be?”

[Jay Furor]

Sprawled out across the couch still, Jay didn't so much as FLINCH when the girl had screamed and aimed her gun at Jay. Yeesh, it's a tough job to be the welcome wagon! People always wanna shoot you and stuff. Soon, though, the gun lowered, and Jay grinned as she gestured to the basket. "All for you~ Most of it was cooked by your's truly, except the biscuits that ARENOTSCONES." NOT SCONES. AT ALL. Anywho, the lass introduced herself, and Jay nodded. "Yes! Yes you are Alaina! That was the purpose for my kicking in your door, in fact, because you just moved in, and I had to greet you with a greeting!"

And of course, the next thing she asked was, of course, do you want to go get some coffee some ti- Oh. OR SHE ASKED WHO SHE WAS. That also makes sense! "Who am I? I am one that is the one, and she who is the one, and you are not the one, for I! I am the one! The one who does things that cause things! That have effects to their causes! For I am the one! 'Viola! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.' Now, disregarding a V for Vendetta quote, I be the one, the only, the highly estemmed Colonel Jay Caroline Furor, of the great Furor clan of the podunk trailer-trashiest land of Kanama, Amestris, atcherservice!~ But please. Jay will do quite nicely."

[Alaina LeClair]

Alaina sighed and sunk down into her chair. She breathed in deeply, letting the calming scent of lavender fill her lungs. She counted slowly to ten with her eyes closed, hoping that maybe this person would go away.
Alaina peeked open her eyes and noticed that this person was rambling on. Alaina didn't hear a word the blonde girl was saying, instead choosing to watch her mouth move with speed.
"Jay. Got that." Alaina thought with a surpressed sigh of irritation. She generally was nice to everyone, but this girl was acting just plain weird. Was she flirting with her? Wow, she sure was weird. Alaina interrupted this Jay lady by lunging for the food basket. She raised an eyebrow at the sight of the strange food. This Jay person sure had an interesting taste in food. At least the biscuits looked normal. Taking one out hesitantly, Alaina bit into it, savoring the warm bread. "Well, hello there Jay. Pleased to meet you? What am I supposed to tell someone that breaks into my office?" Alaina shook her head with a slight smile and turned once more to her biscuit.

[Jay Furor]

ONHONHON! The strange Alaina girl took a bite out of a biscuit, and seemed to like it! Goodie goodie good good! "Those taste waaaaaay sexier with the little bird-thingy on them, sammich style, bee-tee-double-you~" Yes. Because absolutely EVERYTHING needed loads of fat and skin and grease, and triple-deep-fried meat. Yummeh. As Jay contemplated this, she sat up, stretched over, and snatched a piece of turducken from the basket. Popping a bite of it into her mouth, she smiled and chewed it. Soon, Alaina began to do all those friendly little friend-things and such. "I'm pleased to meet you too!~"

Extending her automail arm, she anticipated a handshake, or a high-five, or a fistbump or something, as the girl spoke again. Jay giggled inwardly, and outwardly gave a devilish grin. "WELLLLLLL, you could always thank me for the basket and warm welcome~ That, or ask if I wanted to grab a coffee sometime~" Tossing a wink at her, the message was SO OBVIOUSLY SUBTLE, that it would TOTALLY OBVIOUSLY DEFINITELY not slip past the attentive and skillful Detective LeClair! Whether she was or was not a detective is another matter altogether. "And, in all serialness, very sorry about the door~ Just some broken hinges, nothing half an hour and a toolbox can't fix. I'll drop by eventually and do it, non?~

[Alaina LeClair]

Alaina raised a brow as Jay popped some of the....whatever the heck that food was...into her mouth. So that whatever that was was edible. Or maybe this girl just had an automail stomach too. Yeah, that had to be it.
Alaina stared at the girls arm and reached over and lightly tapped the shiny green metal. "Your arm." Alaina mused, curious about the strange metal in which this Jay lady used as an arm. Alaina shook her head, physically focusing herself. "Right...Okay. Thanks for the food. So what the heck is this?" Alaina asked, prodding a piece of the deep fried whatever the heck that was. Was that a pigeon? Okay...maybe it wouldn't hurt to at least maybe try it. Alaina hesitantly picked up a piece of the deep fried...something, and put it in what remained of the biscuit she was chewing on. Oh! Wow...it's pretty good!" Alaina smiled happily, despite the fact that eating just this much of this bird thing would shave a good decade from her life. "If I go get coffee with you....that means you can't possibly put this delicious artery clogging food in my guts...." Alaina mused aloud. "...Sure!" Alaina exclaimed while popping another piece of biscuit in her mouth. It could be fun to go get coffee, this Jay girl certainly seemed interesting enough, and getting out of the office for a while would be relaxing and dissolve some of the stress that had built up. Plus, she was supposed to go out and make friends, right? Yeah, sure, we'll go with that.

[Jay Furor]

LE POKE! Alaina had stretched over and poked Jay's pwetty arm, so Jay's eyes widened slightly, and she leaned forward, tongue jutted out in concentration, and tapped Alaina's arm. "LE POKE BACK!~ Bwhahaha!" Noting soon after, Jay watched her stare at the food, probably just IMAGINING HOW AMAZING IT TASTES, and listened as she thanked her- SO POLITE~ -and asked what was in the basket. Considering she had merely eaten a biscuit, it seemed SO UNLIKELY that she had actually paid any mind to the other delicious foods within!~ "Why, you're quite welcome, Ala-La-La-La-Laina~" Was it proper to show appreciation for the appreciation of the gift of appreciation for appreciating one's national pride, to which the nation certainly appreciates such tokens of appreciation? Yes! Was it neccessary to sing her name...? Probably not! But there's always that one point between where you decide if something is bound to make somebody feel awkward and uncomfortable, and deciding whether it was AWESOME OR NOT. It was needed.

As Alaina bit into the food, warily, Jay grinned and chimed in with an answer, probably too late, had Alaina chosen NOT to like it (thankfully, she did, or Jay would have been SO CONFUSED. "That thingy? Uuuuummm... Pigeon, maybe? Watch out for lead, it's probably still in there." MASTER CHEF FUROR! ALSO MASTER HUNTER FUROR! ALSO POOR AMATEUR KILL-CLEANER!~ And as she pictured herself, standing on the corpse of a slain dodo bird or some crap, Alaina spoke up, noting how tasty the heart-clogging food was. "Awww, thank you~~ Made it with love~" Giving a bright grin and a laugh, she flopped sideways on the couch again, playing with with her fingernails on her people-hand.

As she did such, Alaina began musing to herself aloud, about coffee and delicious food, and stuff and- Oh! "[color-white]Ooh, you think my heart-clogging food is delicious?~ Squeeeeeee!~ We should be bestest friiiiieeeeeends!~[/color]" And of course she ignored like... EVERYTHING ELSE. But y'know, compliments and such. "Oh, yay!~ And while we're out for coffee, let's grab some lunch too, eh?~ So it's a date, neeee?~" And with a pretty little wink and a devious grin, that was that! SCORE!~

[Alaina LeClair]

Alaina followed Jay's hand with her eyes, watching as she poked her. She grinned just the slightest bit at the returned attack. Alaina then listened as Jay sang her name. That wasn't necessary but Alaina felt herself blush at the lyrical version of her voice. "Well...I won't sing your name but the intention is there."

Alaina then took another bite of food. "P...pigeon? Well it's not bad. I certainly must say I've never had it before though." Alaina tilted her head to the side, it wasn't bad, in fact it was pretty good! It's just that most people would think the choice of meat was weird; she even had to admit that she may not have eaten it had she known it was pigeon beforehand. Alaina laughed lightly when Jay said there may be lead in it, assuming it was a joke. She still had to slow down a little, for fear of Jay being right. "Made with love? Not heat? Well I hope I don't get food poisoning." Alaina smirked and took another bite, finishing off the biscuit.

Lunch? Well that sounded fun. What would it hurt? It certainly had to be healthier than this. Wait, was pigeon healthy? Maybe? When it wasn't dripping with grease. "Lunch? Okay. Where do you wanna go?" Alaina raised an eyebrow curiously. Was that a wink? Why a wink? Was Jay hinting something? "A date? Sure, if you wanna call it that?" Alaina was slightly afraid of the look on Jay's face, what the heck had she just agreed to?

[Jay Furor]

Whaaaaaaat? She wouldn't sing the prettiest name in the woooorld?! Awwww... Jay was only a little depressed about this! JUST A LITTLE BIT. Then again, Alaina didn't have a good reason to sing her name. IT WAS ACCEPTABLE. Plus, she did intend such, so all was well. "Well, you don't have to right now~ Silly girl, haha~ You can sing my name later!~ Tee-hee-hee~" After such amusing antics and all that stuff, Alaina seemed a little surprised she was eating triple-deep-fried pigeon. It was perfectly normal and healthy, though! Even if Jay had no idea if it even WAS pigeon anyways. It was a bird, at any rate, birds are good for you, right? Right? Right.

Alaina then registered the fact the food was made with love, and was therefore not made with heat, and INSTANTLY assumed the food was - le gaspe!- POISONED! It probably was. Lead poisoned anyways... But she gave a mock gasp of shock, and a chuckle. "Nah, it was made the hot and passionate love I'm incredibly skilled at!~ Might be just a little burned from my incredible hotness~" Soon after this probably registered a response, Alaina asked where they'd go for lunch, which was a very good question. THEY SHOULD HAVE LUNCH AAAAAAAAT. UUUUUUUMMM... "Iunno!~ I'll let you choose, favorite place~" And with a devlish grin, after wherever Alaina chose to go was spoken, "Then if a date we shall go on, then uh... WE SHALL GO ON A DATE, HAHAHA!!~"

[Alaina LeClair]

"Well, you don't have to right now~ Silly girl, haha~ You can sing my name later!~ Tee-hee-hee~" Well that was weird. What was that supposed to mean? OKay....whatever. Alaina just chose to AGAIN shrug the randomness off as if it were nothing. Yeah, but it honestly couldn't get much weirder than this, could it? Alaina decided against thinking this, as it could very well jinx herself by saying that.

Alaina then turned back to the food without another word, considering eating more. No, it probably wouldn't be too wise to consume more of the meat. The biscuits seemed fine of course. But then again it couldn't be hard to make a biscuit. Actually, how COULD someone mess up a biscuit? That would definitely take skill. Right, back to the conversation! Jay was talking about how she made her food. "Hahaha. Well okay then. Not a tiny bit arrogant, are we?"

Jay wanted her to choose the lunch place? Well that was odd. She just came in her office and proposed that they go out for coffee and lunch and she didn't even know where she wanted to go. What was up with this girl? If she weren't so amusing, Alaina most likely would have kicked her out long ago. Actually, she was still considering it. But....nah. Alaina needed to see where this was going to lead. This Jay girl was much too interesting to just let her waltz away and bother someone else. "So, you don't know? Oh, I figured you would have some idea when you blasted into my office and proposed that we go out for coffee. Alaina shook her head with a smirk and continued, standing up as she spoke again and heading for the door. (which was still crooked and hanging on awkwardly by the hinges.) "We're going to McRonald's. Come on before I change my mind~" Alaina then paused at the door, her back still to Jay so she couldn't see the quizzical expression that Alaina then held. "Date? Ha! Sure. Whatever. Now hurry up!" Alaina wasn't sure entirely what Jay was getting at. Did she mean "Date, date" or just an outing? Alaina chose not to question this as she was almost afraid of the answer, but she felt herself blush just the slightest bit anyway.

[Jay Furor]

"Haha, not the slightest bit~" She flashed Alaina a grin, fully aware of her vanity. It was the best part of her, though!~ It seemed Jay was steadily perplexing Alaina ever more, with each strange and confusing action or statement. Which was, of course, to be expected, asJay did that to everybody. Alaina cracked a smirk and noted Jay's failure to pre-meditate on where they ought to go, to which Jay laughed, with a cheery grin under her bright gray eyes. "Bingo!~ I'd assumed you'd want to choose where to go. Helps in case you were a vegetarian, or lactose-intolerant, or allergic to pickles or something." GASP! Jay made LOGIC HAPPE- "Oh, and I hate having to choose where to go!~" Aaaaaaaand it was gone. Oh well.

As Alainaq stood, Jay rolled off the couch and followed her, after standing. "McRonald's, you say? Last time I was there, me and my good chum Niko were interrogating a bear, accused of crapping all over poor Peterson's desk. I'd introduce you to the lad, but he commited suicide or something after his wife and kids left him, over the awful smell. But it was fun, I almost got killed by a pack of angry hippoes." Yes. That was fun. In Jay's mind, that is. Alaina registered the fact it was a date, as they walked, which snapped Jay out of her many fond memories of bear crap and Niko and poor Peterson. "Date indeed~ Haha~!" With a grin and a wink, probably unnoticed by the facing-not-at-Jay-Alaina, she confirmed it was totally a date. And everyoe should take pity on poor Alaina's soul right now...

[Alaina LeClair]

Haha, not the slightest bit~ Well alright then. Alaina just raised her brow once more and nodded slowly. "Bingo!~ I'd assumed you'd want to choose where to go. Helps in case you were a vegetarian, or lactose-intolerant, or allergic to pickles or something." Oh, so it seemed Jay actually did have a reason to not choose first. That was surely thoughtful of her! It seemed that she was using just a little bit of logi-"Oh, and I hate having to choose where to go!~ Okay well never mind then. The logical reasoning Jay had presented then meant nothing. Well, they still meant something, just not as much. "I'm not allergic to anything that I know of. Well, let's just assume I'm allergic to seafood. How I loathe the stuff."

Alaina turned around in disbelief at Jay's statement. "What? A bear? Suicide? Poop? Wait wait wait....wha-....actually. No...I don't want to know. Forget I asked anything." Well that was an interesting tale if anything. Oh how Alaina hoped something this odd would not happen when she went to McRonald's. On second thought, was it too late to turn tail and run like hell? Yes? Darn. Alaina took a deep breath, hoping the trip to the restaurant wouldn't be too scary, and began to walk. She glanced to the side at Jay and registered the look on her face. This was sure to be fun/interesting/scary/traumatic/not forgotten/all of the above. Alaina turned her head back straight and continued walking. The "date" couldn't be all that bad, could it?

[Jay Furor]

Oh goodie! She wasn't allergic to ANYTHING!~ Except fishies, but she wasn't REALLY allergic to fishies, she just passionately despised them. "Well, you're in luck! I think McRonald's discontinued their fish sammiches, on account of some bad tartar sauce and a few lawsuits!" Might have also had something to do with McRonald's holding an event where military personnel worked the restaurants for a day. And Jay was in charge of the fish sandwiches... And deep-fried the tartar sauce. And the sandwiches. And the paper. And a customer's finger which "happened" to fall off. By accident, mind you. Might have been because he complained about his sandwich...

NO MATTER~ It was McRonald's that got sued, namely because they were the idiots who let Jay be a fry cook for a day. Well, anyways, as they walked, Jay told her amusig anecdote and such, and she had to giggle at Alaina's shocked response. "Don't worry, don't worry!~ I'm sure they cleaned the table that we slammed the bear on to interrogate him. Also sure he isn't still on the table!~ So should be a normal, regular, non-totally-insane meal. Well, if you'd classify yours truly as sane to begin with~" Yes. Not only was Jay insane, but she was proud of it. Fun for Alaina, am I right? And at that, the duo stepped through the doors of the most fattening and greasy establishment man had ever seen. A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT!~

[Alaina LeClair]

Alaina scoffed. Of course it was the faulty tartar sauce! Or maybe it was fish in general. Yes. Because fish is so disgusting that EVERYONE complained about it. Yes. The world was learning! How smart of them to finally realize their mistakes in eating the food of the sea. Of course, Jay had said that the problem was the tartar sauce but STILL! The fish had to have had something to do with it! Yes!

Alaina turned and looked at Jay quizzically. She had to be kidding about the bear in the first place and here she was rambling on about it. She WAS joking, right? Ha, of course she was! It was preposterous to assume that she was telling the truth. Because really now, how many people interrogate bears and how many bears climb on desks just to poop on them? Oh and why was a bear in McRonald's anyway? How'd it get in there? The questions just went on and on and on. For the sake of Alaina's sanity, she decided to simply leave the topic alone and try not to think too much on the subject anymore.

Ah, McRonald's! Walking through the door, Alaina's nostrils were blasted with scents of grease and grease and even more grease! Because that's what McRonald's is for right? Clogging your arteries with wonderful food dripping with grease! Yes! To be honest, the healthiest thing on the menu (the salad) was probably deep fried too.

Alaina strolled up to the cashier before Jay could get to them, afraid that Jay might order for her and end up ordering her something outrageous. Given the food Jay had already brought to her, she could only assume that Jay was going to want a super-sized, super-fried everything. "Hello there. Yes? I'd like a..." Crap. What DID she want? So many choices. Fries? Of course. Everything needed fries. But what to get WITH the fries? "I'd like a medium fry and...uh.....a 6 piece nuggets? Yeah. Of all the choices, nuggets. Because yes? No. Yes?.....No. Healthy, professional, serious? Nuggets were none of the above. But they were simple and good and Alaina loved them so yes! Nuggets it was!

[Jay Furor]

(Somewhere in Gelemort...)
The dark-haired Mad King of the Loons rose his head, eyes widened in SHEER UNDERSTANDING. He sniffed the air, and then his own hair, and then a bar of soap, and gasped. "Oyah, whoa snap. Somewheres in da worlds, I done noticeded it!~ SOMEONE ELSE DONE FIGURRED OATS DA WORLD BEGAN HATIN' FISHIES!!" For the following week, he had his pilots drop bear-traps baited with a plate of hush puppies and cole slaw into the ocean to begin the massacre of seafood en masse. Suffice to say, not many fish are ACTUALLY attracted to side dishes from seafood restaurants...

(Back to the Main Story...?)
Erm yes... Gelemortian monarchs can all innately sense any one person's anti-fish-related thoughts... Apparently. No matter! Anyways, as the two walked, Jay noticed Alaina's quizzical expression, and Jay smiled, as if knowing EXACTLY what Alaina needed; "Oh, here you go!~" And she handed Alaina her wallet, which folded out with a series of photos of the event... And a few random pictures of herself posing in a bikini, a picture of her making battle with a cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen, and a picture or two of leetle babeh Janis-Ilona. "Figured you'd require proof!~ Had it not been one of my more normal missions, I probably wouldn't have believed it myself, but yep. They really DID build a river in the middle of Central! For some reason." Yes. The river through Central was the most shocking part... Actually, why WAS there a river there? Why wasn't it STILL there!? Was it like one of those large windows two guys are always carrying through a relatively empty street during a car chase!? YES!?!? Makes sense!

Ah, and soon they were at McRonald's! Land of joy and happies! And childhood obesity!~ Alaina seemed excited, she was the first to order, getting some chicken nuggets and Rouenian fries. Why did Rouen have to have invented fries anyways? Rouenian fries sounded so weird. FRENCH FRIES. Yes, it was a totally made-up word, probably from some anime where people- get this, CAN'T be alchemists and stuff, but still! Sounded way sexier. Anyways, Jay stepped up to order next. "Hiya, ummm... I'll get the super-sugary-bacon-flavored Diabetic Coma Heartstopping Coffee, with extra lardy goodness, and the... Super-Fatty-McFatkid-Lardburger meal, with Feeds-A-Starving-Esparian-Village-For-A-Week Sized Fry, thanks~" Ah, the usual... Never goes out of style.

And with that kidney-clogging amount of food ordered, she followed Alaina to wherever they were going to sit down, until the cashier brought them their food- ever since they added the ultra-size milkshake, people had been too fat to carry their food that far anyways. So, waiters! Fun!

[Alaina LeClair]

(Somewhere in Gelemort)

Somewhere out there in the land of Gelemort a fighter pilot was setting up bear traps. "Mmm cole slaw. WOAH HUSHPUPPIES!" And with that, another pilot lost his face to a set bear trap. Because it's no fun at all to eat food BEFORE you set the bear trap.

(Back to the main story?)

Alaina took Jay's wallet a little tentatively. Oooh money! Oh wait, she was just showing her pictures. So....wow. It really did happen. That was...well alright then. Alaina would have to remember to believe Jay about things from now on. Alaina completely skipped over the images of Jay in a bikini because she really didn't want that back story. Oooh a baby~ Alaina clutched the pictures and smiled with little sparkles and all that girly stuff because she loves babies and teeny children. "Aww you have an itsy bitsy little baby! So cute~" And with that, Alaina reluctantly handed the wallet back to Jay. She'd have to remember to get a picture (somehow) later on. And a river through central? Okay Alaina was definitely not asking about that one.

Alaina gawked at Jay. She could not be serious about what she had just ordered. But...it seemed she was. Woah...okay well at least she wasn't obeesed (yet). Watching as Jay ordered the monstrous meal, Alaina got her food and slowly made her way to a table, still watching Jay. She sat down at the table and considered going back to help Jay carry the food but no. That's what waiters are for.

[Jay Furor]

As Alaina took Jay's wallet, with perhaps a bit of fear, she also took in the fact that there really had been a bear on the table in McRonald's. Was it the McRonald's the two were visiting? Likely not. BUT PROBABLY SO! And was the table they'd soon be seated at the very table the bear's disgustingly stenchtastic... inner thighs... had touched!? Could be plausible. AND HIGHLY LIKELY!! And what were the chances the table had not been WASHED!? Well, considering McRonald's health standards, PROBABLY NOT SINCE OVER A YEAR AND A HALF AGO. Fun!~ Jay and Alaina were, obviously, going to sit in the Drinker's Section anyways. Probably. Or not, depending on who chose the table, and whether Jay cared or not.

Anyways, Alaina ALSO seemed to react to Jay's wittle pwide and joy, Janis-Ilona, in picture form. Which made Jay feel fluffeh and happy inside, because yes. "I know, right!?~ She's so adorableeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!~ <3" Despite the fact Jay said "greater than three" as part of that sentence, it was actually the most logical thing she'd said to date, because babies are almost always adorable. Accepting the wallet back, she placed it into whatever pocket she even had on her incredibly erm... Minimalistic. Clothing. Yes, the shreds of clothing Jay called clothing could be concievably classified as minimalistic. As an understatement, BUT STILL! Nonetheless, it brought up an excellent question about where she kept things, considering she didn't seem to have any pockets... ODD. But such is Jay.

After ordering, Jay watched Alaina carry her food off to a table, which looked kinda familiar, and she thought she could see a bear toenail clipping on the left corner of one of the seats. Coincedence, of course!~ She then went to sit down with Alaina, right across from her in fact, as four waiters, whom were all definitely very much food, struggled valiantly with Jay's massive meal. They set it down on two tables that were kinda close to each other, before moving THOSE tables over to Jay and Alaina's table, pushing all three together to hold Jay's food. Reaching over, she took a fistful of fries and ate them all, before grinning at Alaina. "Food~ You picked like, the awesomest place to eat at ever, good job!~" And with that, Jay took another few fistfulls of fries, as she contemplated requesting the dessert buffet... At their table of course; buffets should never involve the excersise of standing up and moving around.

[Alaina LeClair]

Alaina considered the possibility of the McRonald’s being the same one the little…incident had occurred at. It was possible…but Alaina much preferred to not give the idea much thought. Of course it couldn’t be the same one, what were the odds of that happening? Well…it could happen but still! It wasn’t healthy to let such ideas manifest in one’s brain.

Alaina turned to look at Jay. “So you have a kid? ….And what? Less than three?” Jay really just added “less than three” to her sentence? Well, babies are cute of course but reasoning for adding numbers and symbols into her sentence escaped Alaina. Apparently Jay was quite fond of this child - that or she was just whacko, which could very well be the case. With a slightly confused nod, Alaina handed Jay back the wallet. Where said wallet was put, Alaina would forever question.

Alaina sat down and began opening her box of nuggets when she noticed that Jay had sat down as well. “Where’s your food?” Alaina asked, just afterwards a group of waiters struggled over to their table and placed the giant meal on the table. “And you’re going to eat all of that? I realize you did order it, but I only assumed you were jesting the poor cashier.” Alaina spoke too soon though! There came more waiters, each carrying yet another tray! They somehow managed to pull up EVEN MORE tables! By the end of the placing-of-food-ceremony-thing, their eating area consisted of three whole tables. That was ridiculous. No human could eat that much food and not die of a heart attack. “Is this the norm or do you normally eat such tiny meals?” Alaina cocked an eyebrow, not necessarily requiring an answer. “Ah yes, you’re welcome. I think. It seems you enjoy McRonald’s.” Well that was an understatement. The girl was stuffing her face with FIST FULLS of fries. Opening a pack of barbeque sauce (because excessive amounts of barbeque sauce are a necessity for nuggets), Alaina began eating her own meal, which looked meager in comparison to the large quantity of food Jay was about to consume. “You should slow down there, tiger. I don’t recall the Heimlich maneuver so if you choke, you’re on your own.” Alaina followed that sentence up with a little laugh, though she still was still slightly worried about what she would do if Jay choked to death on fries.

[Jay Furor]

"Yes, yes I do, indeedy-deed!~ Leetle Janis-Ilona Marie Furor~ And yes, greater than three!" Drawing her katana, she sliced a greater than three symbol onto the ground. "Seeeeeeee? Is a heart!~" To demonstrate, she pointed at it with her sword. Soon after, they did in fact arrive at the eatery, and a fine eatery it was, just because. Fast food is much more delicious than slow food, you know. Alaina's food arrived almost instantly, but Jay expected her own food to take a minute; you could have a fast interwebs connection, but if the file's two terabytes, you still have to wait to download it. She giggled at Alaina's surprise, though. "Yep, yep, I do plan to eat all of it~ Unless you wanna share?~"

Flashing Alaina a rather implacative wink, possibly implying implications of an implied Lady and the Tramp reference, despite the obviously obvious lack of spaghetti, obvious to any observant observer. Cramming a fistful of fries into her mouth, and swallowing, she gave her a grin. "Oh, yeah, this is part of my new diet. Doc said I have to cut down on my eating, so I'm only eating 10% of my usual meals! This is pretty much a glorified snack, haha~" Kidding, of course. Jay didn't talk to DOCTORS, hahaha~ Besides Dr. Evernight, or Evergood or whatever Ever's name was. But he was different, because he was awesome. Went for a military physical after joining up again two-three years ago, ended up at the Bad House, the restaurant where each of them had held cage-fight championship titles. Fun night, t'was. "Me? Enjoying McRonald's? Psh, not at all, what gave you that idea?~" Sticking out her tongue at Alaina, she took a bite out of her Godzilla-sized burger, and grinned.

"Only the weak slow down!~ Bwahahaha!~ And for the Heimlich, you have to hug the person from behind really tightly. Neeeeeeeeeed a demonstration?~" And on that note, and another implicative wink of purest mischief, Jay allowed Alaina adequate reaction time.

[Alaina LeClair]

“Well she’s adorable. You don’t look like you’ve ever had a kid before though.” And then, holy crap where the hell did Jay get a katana?! “Gyah! Where did that- don’t just whip out- Okay…yeah…oh? A heart? So…I understand why people would write that but was it necessary to SAY it?” With a wary glance at Jay for the fear of her maybe pulling more weapons from random places on her person, Alaina continued onward to the McRonald’s.

“Uh yeah sure, we can share I guess? I’ll just be eating my food first of course.” And of course there came that wink again. Did she normally wink that much or did she have something in her eye? Maybe she had like a lazy eye or something. Wait, did she mean like in that movie with the dogs? Wow, no, Alaina didn’t want that! But…darn, it was too late to take back her innocent statement. Hopefully Jay would realize she didn’t mean it like that. Alaina could only hope. “So this is a LIGHT meal? You’re kidding right? How much do you NORMALLY eat? And how the heck do you not weigh a billion pounds?” Alaina shook her head in total disbelief, there was no way Jay could eat all of that; and then stay thin on top of that! “I’m glad I made the right choice.” Alaina in turn, stuck out her tongue as well before popping a nugget in her mouth.

“Only the weak slow down!~ Bwahahaha!~ And for the Heimlich, you have to hug the person from behind really tightly. Neeeeeeeeeed a demonstration?~” Oh gosh, Alaina had very nearly choked to death on her nugget then. “Ha, gyah, no thanks. I’ll figure it out in case you die or something. No demonstration needed. Thank you.” Alaina took large gulps of her soda to wash down the nugget before turning back to her fries. “Thanks for the offer anyways.”

[Jay Furor]

"Psh, that's because I never DID have a kid~ She's an adopted little gift-baby, from my bud, Tiny, and his wife. Because iunno. BUT ISN'T SHE JUST THE CUTEST THING!?!?" Psh. And people say Jay bears some similarities to the famed hero, Hughes, of Central. HA. She never shoved pictures of her adorable daughter into peoples' faces. Nope, never. Responding to Alaina's next statement of surprise (these are quite common when hanging out with Jay), she gave a slightly, but only JUST slightly, mad laugh, and grinned. "of COURSE it was neccessary to say it!~ I couldn't very well just pull a katana out and slash it into the ground mid-sentence, could I? That would scared you half to death!" Yes. She DID say that, disregarding the fact that she'd done JUST THAT a few minutes ago, and Alaina WAS scared half to death, at first, or at the least, very surprised by Jay's amazing skill at pulling things out of thin air, from somewhere on her body. Like Grand Theft Auto! Or Pokemon!

Hahaha! Little did Alaina know, but Jay was incredibly skilled at winking discreetly. To all but the intended recipient, it WOULD look much like she had some sort of eye infection, or epilepsy or something, but NEIN. She fully intended them as WINKS!~ But only her and Alaina knew that, obviously. Not at all like Alaina didn't comprehend her winking at all, nope. She understood what it meant. Jay could tell, she read minds for a living. Or she was a soldier. Something like that. And as Jay pondered this, Alaina questioned her dietary habits and physical health. "This, light? Psh, not really. Haha!~ Was only kidding~ As for me looking so good AND eating good food... Eh, I don't know, really. Crazy metabolism and obsessive excersise?" Indeed, it was very much enigmatic how Jay managed to weigh so little and eat so much... Not to mention her liver... No matter, no matter!~ She didn't NEED to understand how her body worked!

Laughing as Alaina started to choke on her food, at the mention of Jay demonstrating the Heimlich, she grinned and pointed, once she managed to get the nugget down. "You sure you don't need a demonstration?~ Hahaha!~" This date was going to be epic, Jay thought to herself. SHE COULD TELL ALREADY!~

[Alaina LeClair]

"Aw well that was sweet of them! She's a cute little baby....less than three?" And of course Alaina had to add it to her sentence as well just to try it out. Yeah, it was still quite awkward. Alaina nodded slowly and tried (and failed) to not look mortified at the fact that Jay could randomly pull items from thin air. She must be a magician or something. "Please...don't ever do that again..." The statement was mainly spoken to herself, being that Alaina was scared out of her mind.

Alaina, thankfully, made it to the restaurant without dying of a heart attack. Though Alaina was sure one of them would be going home in a body bag considering the way they were eating. Hint - it's not Alaina. "...Well I hope you enjoy your food. If I ate half as much as that I'd weigh, quite literally, a ton. That or just keel over." Given thatc though, Alaina finished her food and reached over to commence stealing some of Jay's. "No I do not need a demonstration. Thank you very much. Now, why not going and getting me some more barbeque sauce?" It wasn't that Alaina was being rude, no, she was looking out for Jay! A person that ate that much could benefit from the exercise of getting up and walking. Well that...and Alaina wanted more fries but they needed to be coated in a sauce of some sort before being ingested. Overall, so far, this "date" was...terrfying...but at least Alaina got to eat excessive amounts of fries. That was alwayd a plus so yeah, the date was going well.

[Jay Furor]

Squeeeee~ Jay internally squeeeee'd at Alaina's nice compliments, saying her wittle baby was adorable and such. And apparently wondering if she was less than three? Had Jay been a normal human being, she'd have concluded, quite conclusively, that Alaina was attempting to use the <3 verbally, as she had done, BUT NO, LOL. Jay took a new meaning to it. "Yes, yes she is!~ She's like, two or something, I think! Soon she'll be equals three, then GREATER THAN THREE~ Because three kinda sucks. My favorite number is chocolate eclair pie, y'know." Hmmm... Jay occasionally considered going to a therapist. On account of her OVERWHELMING AWESOMENESS, which kinda scared the crap out of less awesome people, IE, EVERYBODY WHO WASN'T JAY OR HER DAUGHTER AND SPADE. Mind you, the therapist would probably tell her she was bipolar, incredibly ADD, and probably a threat to society, and would likely have her committed. But psshhh.

After they had been eating for a few minutes, once having reached McRonald's, Jay glanced up with a grin as Alaina spoke. "I'm probably not gonna eat ALL of it, silly~ I just like to have my options available!" Sticking out her tongue as Alaina snatched up some of her food, she laughed. "Plus, I have you to help me eat all this, right?~" In turn for such teasing, Alaina told Jay to go fetch the sauce of the barbeque. Which Jay did, in the bestest way. Because lazy, she totally used her incredibly under-used, and often forgotten, grappling hook attachment on her automail arm, to snatch up a bottle of barbeque sauce, retracting it, with bottle in hand. Honestly, there are SO MANY tactical implementations of the grappling hook, yet it was only ever used like, what... Five times now? Psh. Her grappling hook was like Batman's sidekick. It only came around when it was NEEDED. Which was almost never, poor thing... "Bwahaha, the powers of lazy and awesome!~ Thar ye go, enjoy the greasiest B-B-Q in all of fast food land!~ Super-tastiest, too.In fact, she wondered why she hadn't gotten any FOR HERSELF. Psh. She had a bottle of bacon grease in one of her never-noticed-grand-theft-auto pockets, or, more aptly, probably holstered somewhere on her person. Didn't need no BBQ.

[Alaina LeClair]

Alaina could have facepalmed. "No...I meant to- yeah okay." Wait, did Jay say she "thinks" her daughter is two? How could she not know? Snd so it appeared that chocolate eclair pie was a number. "That wouldn't be anywhere close to the number pi, would it? As in 3.14-someghing? On second thought, there's no need to answer. Chocolate eclair pie is so obviously 9. Because pie times eclair is 6, plus chocolate equals 9. Logical!" Where that had sprouted from, Alaina didn't know. But maybe it would be more fun to just go along with the crazies that came out of Jay. If Alaina was REALLY concerned with her health (be it physical or mental) she would have snuck away already. "My favorite number is orange cream cake. Because the integral of orange squared from cream to cake is equal to 14 pies." Alaina nodded, quite seriously at that. She, of course, was being sarcastic. Kind of. She still liked cake, but the stuff with the numbers was random spluttering.

"Oh. Well I guess you have trouble making life decisions too." Alaina rolled her eyes and grinned as Jay stuck out her tongue. "Good thing I'm here to help you. I wish you would have told me you were ordering so much, I would have just mooched off of you instead of ordering anything." Alaina laughed lightly and again reached over to steal fries. There must have been something in those fries, as Alaina found it impossible to stop eating them. Blame the excessive amounts of grease and salt.

Alaina was in the process of raiding one of Jay's trays when Jay retrieved her barbeque sauce. "Thanks! Make sure to get two packets, one is never eno-" And then a freaking grappling hook sprung from Jay's arm! Alaina very nearly had a heart attack when the hook shot across the restaurant. Apparently other customers did too, as Alaina could hear gasps. As the bottle whizzed back to the table, Alaina tried to calm her nerves. She stared at the bottle for a very long moment before slowly reaching out and grabbing it. "....You just...shot a grappling hook from your arm..." Alaina blinked and stared at Jay quizzically before returning her gaze to the bottle of BBQ sauce. "...That was lazy!" Alaina laughed as she dipped a fry in barbeque sauce before bopping Jay on the nose with it. "Boop! That's what you get for being lazy! Alaina grinned and went back to smothering everything in sauce. Once over the initial terror of the crazy girl, Alaina realized the date with Jay could be a lot of fun.

[Jay Furor]

Ah, Jay knew AT ONCE that this date was a great idea! And her date was a poerfect match for her, too; they were both obviously geniuses for having complete understanding of Baked Mathematics! But then Alaina started talking EVEN MORE COMPLICATED Baked Mathematics, about the reasoning behind her love of orange cream cake as a number. Quite interesting, it would be, had Jay gone to high school after her freshman year, and cared enough to continue her studies of baked mathematics! Wait. Did she go to school freshman year...? Eh, maybe, maybe not, she couldn't recall. Point being, though, ALAINA WAS SUPER-DUPER SMART.

She even knew that Jay had trouble with life decisions, and even JAY didn't know THAT! She could predict the present! Magic! She grinned as Alaina remarked about helping Jay consume such an enormous feast. "Dunno what I'd do without you~ Besides eating all this all alonely, haha~ And you should've just assumed based on all my randoms and crazies that I was going to order an inhuman amount of food! Silly Lai-Lai!~" Yes. Lai-Lai. Jay had nicknamed the poor girl already! But she'd earned the nickname, from stealing Jay's fries, with such magical skills as she had. Those fries really were addicting... Could have just been the caffeine in them. Or the nicotine. POSSIBLY the opium, but they didn't really put THAT much opium in them. Honestly, McRonald's would put anything in anything, and it was a wonder they hadn't accidentally caused a zombie apocalypse. If they did, though, Jay would totally pull a Will Smith and GRENADE-PAWNCH A ZOMBIE HORDE. She'd probably die, but in an awesome way!

She then set out to retrieve the sauce, opting to go straight for the bottle, not the packets, which were always small and insufficient for coating her food. As she did so, some people gasped, especially the cashier that she nearly slapped in the back of the head with the bottle as she retracted the arm. Handing it to Alaina, the other woman seemed to be in shock. Psh, it was only a grappling hook, not that big a deal! "Pee-shaw, I've seen bigger stuff shot from people's arms! Like their forearm bone, after it got hit really, really hard, or bazooka missiles!" Obviously, that was going to calm Alaina's nerves. She was ALREADY freaking out about a grappling hook, so reminding her that forearms are detachable with sufficient force was definitely a fine idea! And it seemed to be such, as Alaina laughed and noted only the laziness of it, to which Jay grinned. "Of course it was!~ Work better, not stupider, as they always say!~" Not quite the quote, but okay. She then burst into a fit of giggles as Alaina booped barbeque sauce on her nose with a fry. "Nuuuu, mah nose is bleeding barbeque sauce now!~ I'm going to die, quick, lick it off for me!" Aaaaaand it just got more random!

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