~Jingle Bells, Wolfy Smells, But A Jazz Concert's Okay~

[Molly McCafferty]

Jazzy jazzy jazz hands. Jazz hands jarred a jarring brain-thought in Molly's head-brain, which was that she was in a jazzy mood, and as such, she decided to go for a blue and black woman-kilt, a blue tank top, and a black fedora, with gold bangles because yes, and three gold necklaces, because also yes. Perfect get-up for a jazz concert! In her head-brain-thoughts, anyways. As she stepped out the door, a last minute thought struck her, telling her that her electric bass would be most epic to bring, despite the fact she wanted to listen, not play. Added a nice touch to her outfit. Fully dressed, however, she flicked off the light and darted away, to the local jazz bar, where whatever local acts cared to play could and did. Was always a good night there. The bands were usually talented, for groups of jazz lovers that happened to form garage bands, the bar food was usually superb, compared to other pubs, even among other jazz bars, and of course, the drinks were always good, and the bartender was a grizzled old sax-man himself, with a stereotypically deep and somewhat wheezy voice, and a pair of shades to die for.

Anywho, she got there, and took a seat at a bar stool. Flashing a wink at the barman, Jack "Java Jive" Jones. "Four Horsemen on Acid, on the rocks, in a Collins~" Clearly the superior drink; bourbon, scotch, Crieg whiskey, and Jack Daniels, with a splash of absinthe, blended into a quadruple-whiskey concoction of SUPER-WHISKEY. And of course, a shot wasn't nearly enough, so she had to have it in a Collins. Yes, it'd probably knock her out eventually, but it'd be worth it. She liked her booze! Jack gave her a nod and a broad grin, as he hooked her up with the drink, and she sipped at it as she enjoyed the smooth jazzy-jazz jazz music. As she listened, though, she noticed a familiar fat blob with hair, sitting nearby, in front of her. Drink in one hand, she used the other to wrap him in a surprise hug. "DUNSTAN!~" Success! His name, she remembered it this time!~ "Nice ta see ya here~ Didn't know you were inta jazz~"

[Dunstan Hue]

Jack 'Java Jive' Jones' place wasn't one Dunstan was unfamiliar with. The man was an old sax player, so he knew how to get all the good acts. He also could, helpfully, sniff out new talent seemingly anywhere. Overall, for the jazz scene, Java Jive was who you went to if you wanted a finger on the pulse of the new acts. Dunstan did indeed want that exclusive information, but there's one particular reason that he went.. Practise.

"That is completely impossible." Java Jive remarked with his low croak, his enviable sunglasses about to slide right off his face. Dunstan had his head back, his throat happily gulping down the beer that came down the pipe. On the other end...

Java Jive's infamous challenge was simple. He had a small jar. Someone would put a bit of money in the jar, and then they'd be given a large barrel with a pipe. The challenge was to drink it all in one go. If they did, they got all the money in the jar. It was physically impossible, but Java Jive knew that drunk idiots couldn't resist the temptation, even though no one on Earth could.

Dunstan, however, had spent the last several years coming into Java Jive's place every week, and simply drinking. He was an impressive drinker, to be sure, and boisterous. Exactly the kind of guy who would happily take the challenge. But he never did, to Java Jive's confusion. That is, until tonight. A barrel. A barrel of beer. And Dunstan was chugging it in one go. It was like he was impervious to the effects of alcohol poisoning. That or he had a black hole in his throat. Dunstan's belly didn't even swell. Java Jive's eyes scanned him for some kind of trick; Dunstan claimed he had been practising, but that barrel was heavier than some people. No one could DOWN it! Finally, the pipe was pulled away from Dunstan's lips.

"Look and weep, jazz man." Dunstan laughed cheerily, his eye spinning a little. Java Jive gulped, and ripped open the lid of the barrel. All the beer was gone. Java Jive turned back to Dunstan, and sighed. That jar. That jar, it had over a thousand pounds. And he had to give it up. He wiped his brow, and lifted up the jar, handing it to Dunstan.

"Look, I gotta tend to the bar, you bastard, don't spend that all at once." He groaned, before turning away to serve some girl who had walked in. Dunstan, however, didn't move. He simply stood stock still, getting his bearings. Bar in front of him, good, good, put hands on counter. Hold steady and OH GOD SOMEONE'S HUGGING ME!

Dunstan wobbled uncontrollably as Molly wrapped her arm around him, pulling him closer into a hug. "Nice ta see ya here~ Didn't know you were inta jazz~"

"Very much into jazz." He slurred a little, winking with his singular eye, finally regaining his senses. He put the huge jar of money onto the table, and then grinned to her. "Wanna use this money to get absolutely ratted?"

[Csilla Angelis]

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