Never Forgotten. Never Forgiven.

[Guest]

This wasn't happening.

Her heart was pounding as she bolted down the street, her plans for the rest of the day completely forgotten as her phone was clutched so tightly in her hand. Her heels clacked so loud against the pavement, her breath ragged as the fear and running the last twelve blocks chocked off any bright light in this world. Her other hand was tightened around the hilt of her sword to keep it from banging all over the place against her hip, her long dark hair flowing out in a wild stream behind her as she ran.

This couldn't be happening.

She had to move faster, she had to get there. Move. MOVE. MOVE. MOVE!!! The hospital rose into view before her, an ambulance blaring its cry against the shattered sunlight to alert those to make way for them. She had to make it in time. Why was she so slow? Why wasn't she moving faster? Why?!

"Hey Kasumi, it's Jiro."
"Oh Jiro-san! Hello, how are you?"
"I'm well. *pause* Have you gotten any files about people in the war?"
"You mean those in Xing? No, we haven't. Why?"

Why had he asked her that.

" *pause* Wasn't a guy named Ranmaru a friend of yours?"

Her heart throbbed painfully as she stood on that street corner. Ran? She had just seen him not a week before.

"Y-yea, why?"

You didn't ask someone that unless--

"I had a friend who was in the same unit as him. He's just arrived in the hospital. His condition isn't good. *pause* I'm sorry."

This couldn't be happening.

"I called Kaede before you. He should be on his way there too."
"...Thank you Jiro..."

She burst through the doors to the emergency room, her sapphire eyes looking wildly about at the others that were there. No. No. No, Ran had to be fine. His face flashed before her eyes, the sensation of his hands on her skin, his voice that flowed through her ears like the softest of silks, that smile... That smile that lit up a whole room. Now that she was there, she ran over to the receptionists desk, panting heavily as her throat burned for want of some water. "Ranmaru... Wh..What room... " The womans voice sounded so slow in response, "He's in intensive care, he can't have any visit--" "WHERE?!" She barked at the woman, not caring that heads were turning to stare at this mad policewoman whom had just barged in here without any warning. Tears were stinging her eyes, glistening them with excess moisture as she tried to contain the multitude of emotions and fears that swirled within her. "Please... Just tell me... I can wait in the hall or something.. just please... Tell me." She pleaded, and she could see the woman wasn't sure if she wanted to give the information out. In the end she could see what the man must mean to her, and so she gave her quick directions to where the ICU was, Kasumi barely getting out a 'thank you' before she hurried there despite the roaring of her muscles.

The doors were shut, the light was on, and there was no one there. Her body could take no more and she sank to her knees, staring through the salty water in her eyes towards those great doors. Ran was in there. Ran... Ranmaru... "Why hello sweet thing. How is a wonderful miss as yourself on such a hot day, that perhaps could be remedied by simply taking clothes off? Perhaps we could find a nice place alone where I can help you cool off." She shut her eyes and dug her fingers into that linoleum, those tears finally rolling down her cheeks as her hair fell all about her. Calm down. Calm down.... Her fathers coffin flashed before her mind, only making those tendrils of fear clamping down harder upon her harp. No! No he wouldn't! She raised her head to stare at the ICU light again, leaning against the wall as she sat there on the floor with her knees drawn tight into her chest. Where was Kaede? He would be here soon. Kaede... What was he going through now? Ran was his best friend first, maybe more than that. What... what was going to happen to their trio?

[Yoshida Izanagi]

Haha.. the Hell was up with this? One moment he was on the field fighting with Tas and the next second he was- well. There was a piercing pain in his mind and the repeating throbbing feeling in his chest and legs. It hurt to breathe and his eyes hurt just from adjusting to the light.

"Tas! Watch what you're doing!" The voice fluttered in his mind. Then there was fire, he couldn't breathe and he felt himself drift. The sky above was twisting and breaking. What was this-? Coldness was swallowing him and tears met his cheeks, but he couldn't hear the voice. Slowly his heart was ticking on empty and there was a second where death was inevitable and yet- There he was, in the bed, staring at the walls hopelessly.

"Tas!" His brother.. was his brother okay? Trying to move set forth a vigorous amounts of alarms as the people flocked him and sedated him more. Why? He didn't want it- His brother- "Tas..." He muttered, hearing soft whispers on his ears. Another roll of sleep was kicking in and he could feel nothing but a peaceful dreamland, until visions filled his mind.. war.. it painted the world red. He fought.. he had fought to save people.. his friends and yet-- How many were there? He had two and they were made for each other. He was just.. existent, stealing left over emotions from when they weren't together. He was leech and now... it was even worse. There he was, having to be drugged like some sort of dying animal.... that was right.. he was dying... He could feel it, the machines around him, his vision blurring and the way the sounds hit his ears with each sharp breath he took.

Sleep.. they were keeping him asleep for some reason. Knives were glinting in brief glimpses and then he woke to his body cut open, sewn back and desperate faces. Why were they even doing this? He wasn't going to live.. he knew it. The way his body could barely feel anything, but the staggering pain and the stabbing sensations. Even mentally. Once the surgeons were done and the doctor was sent to deliver the news, Ran had interrupted. "What about Tas?" His first words.

"Ranmaru.. that bullet was in no danger to even urt your brother. It was aimed straight for you.." He had sated bluntly, gaining a look that was almost lost for a second. Useless... he had been useless. His brother wasn't in danger, he'd lost his head and in result he was now. "Look, we've."

"Don't tell me anymore. I don't want to know." He said instantly, flipping up a hand to the doctor and giving a saddened look. "I need a smoke."

"You can't smoke though." The doctor stated.

"I'm dying anyways."

"You don't have to die." The doctor stated. "You just have to work extra at trying to move and everything. You don't HAVE to die. It just takes time."

Ran paused to think it over. "I'm Thirty, today. " The doctor gae a quizzical look, before glancing at the charts.

"So you are. Would you like something?"

"I want a smoke."

"Sir, that endangers the others. You. Can't. Smoke. Especially not in your condition."

"Ughhh REALLLY? Goddammit." He murmured, before looking away. "Fine I won't have a fucking cigarette. Though, it disgusts me." The doctor shrugged.

"There are a couple people here to see you." He mentioned, running a finger down the charts. Ran again tried to move, setting off alarms and causing the doctor to jump. Blood... Ran could feel blood soaking his body, but from where, he wasn't sure. He coughed it, felt it, breathed it, temporarily choking on it. "Stop moving so much! If I send them in.. will you settle?"

"Probably not, but do it anyways, because, it's my birthday." The doctor rolled his eyes at Ran, but waved off the thought, before wandering outside to speak to those guests.

Ran laid by himself. His body, he could feel soreness, stiffness and altogether tension he couldn't understand. His legs were immobile, he couldn't feel his arms. What WAS this? What HAD happened? It was a miracle he could even speak. The crimson eyes of his closed a moment, lapsing him into a blackness. He didn't want to be here... he didn't want to be anywhere..

(Posted on Yoshi since no RAN account)

[Kaede Soshi]

Sleep was always something hard to come by for Kaede, every time he closed his eyes he saw the faces of the people he had killed, and the friends he had let down. Why? The man didn't know and any number of psychiatrists couldn't really tell him, he wasn't haunted by those he had killed, he wasn't afraid he would let his friends and family down again. But he still saw them. In more recent days though, one face, one name kept him awake long into the night. Ran. Ranmaru Mizuru Akiyama. His friend, his lover, and it wouldn't be going to far to say his brother. Where was he? How was he doing? And most importantly was he safe? Every time he vanished these same worries popped back into place, and he lost more sleep then he normally would. Still He had been safe every other time he had left with out a word... But this time it felt...different. He didn't know how, he didn't know why, but a feeling of cold dread had seeped into him, and he was for once truly worried.

Ringring. Ringring. Ringring.

Kaede glanced over at his night stand, a slight grimace on his face as he did so. Who would be calling so late? He glanced over at the clock and shuddered... Night had come and gone and the sun had already greeted the day. It seemed like he had lain awake through another sleepless night.

Ringring. Ringring. Ringring.

He picked up his phone and held it to his ear. "hello?" His voice lacked the normal exuberance it held, and was almost life less. The lack of sleep was finally getting to the man.

"Yes, is this a... " He could hear the rustle of papers before the man spoke again "Mr. Soshi?"

"Yep, now could you hurry it up some. Im going to be late and i don't want to be held up by some pointless phone call, and i swear if you try and sell me something..."

"No,no nothing like that sir its just that... Do you know a Ranmaru Mizuru Akiyama?"

A short pause fallowed that. "Yes, i know him... Why?"

"Your listed as an emergency contact and well... He's here at the hospital... And its not good."

Another pause, longer this time as that feeling of dread spread up his body. Ran... Was in the hospital? "Sir, are you still there?" No. No... He couldn't be... He shouldn't be... He had promised him he would stay safe..."Sir?" How could... How could he... "Sire are you there?"

"Yes im still here... Ill be over shortly."

With that he hung up the phone, threw on yesterdays cloths and ran to his car. Ran was hurt, and it was all his fault... Some how.

He was surpised he hadn't been pulled over on his way to the hospital, His driving had been aggressive and erratic, kind of like his emotional state. But by the grace of god he made it there with out killing anyone. He parked in the emergency area and dashed through the sliding doors, not caring that he was getting odd looks from those who saw him. He made his way to the reception desk. "Ranmaru Akiyama, what room is he in? " The woman gave him an odd look, but he just stared her down, the hard set of his eyes causing her to look away and down at the computer screen. "Hes in room one twelve in the intensive care unit, he cant have-" He didn't hear the last part of that, he was already moving.

He saw the door then, and his steps grew slower, and ever step became harder and harder. What had the man done to him self this time? What had he gotten him self into? After a life time he was at the door, and he swung it open slowly and glanced inside. "Ran... You in there?" He hoped for the life of him he was mistaken... That this was not HIS Ran... and there had been some sort of mix up... If there was a god there would have been a mix up...

[Guest]

"Tell me, what is, on your mind...
Help me.. Cause I'd like to know.
What the, hell is, going on?
Never.. thought I'd sing this song...

Lets not get started with the he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go-o as planned.
Lets not get started with the he said she said
Sometimes it just doesn't go-o as planned.

Started out so simple and innocent,
so simple and innocent,
so simple and innocent,
Chemistry like apple and cinnamon.
Like apple and cinnamon,
Like apple and cinnamon.

I can't believe that you and me were falling out of love,
And everybody used to be so envious of us.
Chemistry like apple and cinnamon.
What we had, was just to go-od....
Good to last."*

Kasumi whispered the lilting melody, the sound echoing distantly to her ears as she sat there on the floor for...... so long. She had lost count of the minutes as she sat there paralyzed by worry, fear, and utter dread. Bing! She looked up at the sound and began to stand, watching the light of the ICU turn off and the bed come rolling out. "Ran-!" She started but they shoved her aside as a nurse stopped her from following after him. Her eyes showed confusion as she tried to step around the nurse until the woman held up her hand to stop her. "Let me pass! I have to-" "He is in no condition to see visitors at this time." She felt those damned tears begin to rise again as she gritted her teeth and glared at this puny woman before her. "I have to go to him. He's-" "OFFICER." The woman's bark made Kasumi stop as the tension faded from her features, and it was only then that the nurses expression softened. "You can follow me to his room, but please wait outside until he is awake." She could only nod dumbly as her eyes lowered, instantly regretting that single thought that had flashed in her mind just before the nurse had shouted at her. She had wanted to cut her down so she could run to Ran.

Her heels clicked against the linoleum as the pair walked silently through the hospital to the door that barred her from seeing Ranmaru. "The doctor will let you know when you can go in." Kasumi nodded again, staring blankly at the floor. "Thank you..." She didn't even feel her mouth move, her vocal chords vibrate to produce the sound that had come from her lips. She sat down heavily on the bench outside of Ran's room and choked back a sob, pressing her face into her hands. This couldn't really be happening. Why had they looked so grim? Why was this happening? This was wrong. This was just so very wrong. It was now that she was beginning to realize how she hated hospitals. She hated the atmosphere here. The only reason she ever came here was if someone..... Her fathers face flashed before her eyes when he had last spoken to her and the smile he had worn, followed by Kaede as he had laid there so broken in that ambulance, and then... Ran. She remembered when he had pressed her up against the wall, kissing her forcefully and it made her lips tingle. But the tears only rolled down her cheeks into the palm of her hands. She only came here when someone was in danger of dying, or.... died....

Then there was time.... Time got so weird here. She could never seem to keep it straight. It was just... impossible. She had no idea how long it was when she heard the sound of running footsteps, raising her head with red cheeks and stinging eyes that had long since dried to see a man that made her heart throb and clench down on itself harder. Kaede. Her partner. Her lover. He didn't even see her there, and she could hardly be surprised, much less blame him for it. There were.... greater things on their minds at the moment. "Ran... You in there?" The doctor hadn't left that room, only a couple of the nurses that had wheeled his table over to his room. She started to rise slowly, her sapphire eyes only looking at the other man that had captured her heart so as she bit her lower lip. Gods it took every ounce of strength she had left to not collapse on him sobbing. Her nerves were far since frayed. "Kaede..." She murmured softly as she tentatively reached a hand to touch his arm, his flesh warm and flush against how cold her hands seemed now. Why did so many of those she cared about have to die? Have to leave this world? Was she cursed? Was she endangering Kaede by--No, no she couldn't think like that. She stepped up close to him and touched her forehead to his shoulder gently, her hand still resting on his arm.

Before she could even think of any words to say, the door opened, revealing the doctor who was grimacing. She watched him try to hide it as he held an arm out to gesture for them to come in. "You can see him. Just know he is very weak." Kasumi didn't even wait, striding past him with only the vaguest of nods to acknowledge that she had heard him. Her eyes were focused on the man that was in the bed, and any and all of her fears were realized. She paused in her step for a moment and felt all the breath leave her body as her heart clenched to the point of pain in her chest at the sight before her. It was Ran alright, but..... Gods he looked like Kaede when... She walked up to his right side and somehow managed some sort of smile, trying to remember how to breath against the pain in her chest. Her hand reached to brush a few strands of his dark hair from his forehead, licking her lips as she tried to fight the urge of those tears to rise. She couldn't allow herself to cry in front of him. Her father hadn't, and she would be damned if she did it for Ran. "Hey..." The simple greeting barely cleared her throat, its sound barely above a whisper as her other hand immediately slid down his arm to hold his.

The beeping of the machine behind her stabbed into her eardrum every single time it rang out that awful sound. She couldn't even look at Kaede right now, she just... couldn't. She couldn't even imagine what he was going through. It must be like when she lost her father but.... different... She was so afraid for their trio now. The love triangle that had formed by happenstance and left them all so delicate in this moment. It felt like she had just seen Ran too! He had been at her apartment, he had bought her flowers, given them to her with a weak smile and an apology. They had talked... made love.... talked some more.... Just spent the day relishing each others company. And then that damned war had happened. Her hand tightened ever so slightly on Ran's, taking a shuddering breath as her features relaxed. "I hope they are treating you well here. Otherwise I'd give them a piece of my mind." What could she say? How was she supposed to act? Why did this have to be?

*Apple and Cinnamon by Utada Hikaru. If you want to take a listen.

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