Peyton Powers

[Peyton]

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CASE FILE: Amestrian Militant/Alchemist

"You must really like the sound of your own voice."
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FULL NAME:
→ Peyton Powers

AGE:
→ 19

SEX:
→ Female

BIRTH PLACE:
→ East City, Amestris

DEPARTMENT:
→ Research

RACE:
→ Amestrian

DATE OF BIRTH:
→ January 27, 1993

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HEIGHT:
→ 5'2"

WEIGHT:
→ 120 lbs

PICTURE:
→

Spoiler:

DESCRIPTION:
→ She has short red hair, scruffy in the back and long bangs in the front. Her eyes are a light blue, almost grey. Her skin is very light, practically white and has a lot of freckles covering her body. She is a short girl with a small body frame. She's pretty lanky and her bust is almost non-exsistant. While most of her body is just skin and bones, her face is pretty plump and rosy. So in simpler words: she's baby faced. She dresses very modestly. A baggy yellow turtle neck, black jeans, and boots is her usual attire. She also has automail on the majority of her right leg, only a small part of her thigh remaining. She's very self-conscious about her body and missing limbs so she hardly leaves them revealed. Her voice is demanding and prominent. It also has sort of an all-knowing tone. Lastly, she walks with a slight limp.

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PERSONALITY:
→Peyton is very antisocial and socially anxious. She also has a pretty bad attitude and problems with venting her anger out productively, which often leads her into trouble. Peyton mostly keeps to herself but whenever someone just strikes a nerve with her she jumps in to throw it right back in not the most classiest way. She has a pretty low self-esteem but would never consider self harm or suicide, she doesn't really feel the want or need for that kind of emotional release. She often takes to people who are a bit more out going and friendly than her. She finds them easier to befriend and a lot easier to talk to, since they do most of the talking. But, she keeps her friend group small and avoids becoming too attached to people although sometimes she can't help it.

Her anti-socialism is mostly out of fear of losing ones close to her again after a childhood trauma scarred her for life. Although another reason would be that she prefers to be left to her thoughts and feelings often. She doesn't feel like she’s constantly being judged (a symptom of her social anxiety) by others and can be who she really wants to be. When left to herself she is quite philosophical and gentle in nature. But when with others she regrows that hardened shell. Although at times when friends are in need or ill, she turns into an almost motherly and caring figure. Most of the time though she's generally cold and distant, and doesn't enjoy when the subject of a conversation turns towards her life and her flaws. If that happens she will attempt to steer the conversation towards other things. Often it will be politics since she finds those important and wants to see the person's view on the issues. She enjoys the heat and passion of the debate if one arises during a conversation.


LOVE:
→ Coffee, Reading, Learning new things, Small Children, Sweaters



HATE:
→ Unjust actions and claims, Racism, Vanity, Being told what to do, and being too warm.

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HISTORY:
→Peyton was born into a nice home in East City. She had a big family with 6 other siblings. Her father was state certified at one point, and loved the practice of alchemy. He was Peyton's teacher. But, the teachings stopped when he became an alcoholic. His mother had died of cancer, putting him into a state of depression. This is believed to be the cause behind his addiction. He started when Peyton was about twelve. Although he wasn't abusive or mean, her mother hated his drinking habits and soon divorced him after he failed to quit. He lost the custody battle for his children in court, and went off into the world alone. Years later her two oldest sisters left for college and so she was the eldest in the home.

One tragic day, their home was engulfed in flames. There had been a gas leak. Her mother and siblings burnt to death, while Peyton escaped with her life and a crushed leg. After receiving an amputation, Peyton had gone under the care of an aunt and uncle since her sisters were still studying in college and were unable to support someone else at that time. Every day was a struggle it seemed when she couldn't even walk on her own. She went into a state of depression after that for quite a long time. She would rarely eat, she'd stay up till the late hours of the night, and she'd often stare into the distance for long periods of time. Whenever she did sleep she often had night terrors. Therapy helped a bit, but nothing could remove the trauma and pain she felt from that day. After her depression lightened up she had decided to be fitted with automail. She was seventeen at the time. The process was painful and long, and she cried through most of it. But she did it. The rehab proved to be a difficult task but she managed. She even took up martial arts to help with the rehabilitation.

Now after turning nineteen she's out on her own. She works at the local library and lives in a little apartment. She hopes to go to college one day, but she's not sure if she'll ever be able to afford it. She's also in the process of developing a special kind of biological alchemy, although it's still in the testing phases and very unpredictable. If there was to be a rebound it would cause devastating harm on both ends. She has named it “blood alchemy” due to the fact that it has to do with the use of blood. She intends the alchemy be used to cure diseases of the blood, although it could possibly be also used for darker purposes.

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TRIVIA:
→ She pops pain pills far too much and is close to becoming an addict
→She likes debating politics with people, although sometimes she gets a bit too into it.
→She has a muscle fetish.
→She's never kissed anyone, or even had an intimate relationship.
→Has a big sweet tooth
→Whenever she has a pencil in her hand, she'll twirl it around with her fingers while she thinks
→She loves mystery novels
→Though she doesn't talk about it much, she has a great desire to have children of her own some day (possibly to fill the void left by her siblings)
→ Amestrian and (limited) Doe'ann

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ALIAS:
→ Eeeeh Peyton?//shot

OTHER CHARACTERS:
→ This is my first character, but I am capable of playing multiple people with different personalities if needed

CREATOR'S COMMENTS:
→ I'm always looking for a decent RP and ways to improve myself I guess.


CUSTOM RANK:
→ Metal Bookworm

OFFICIAL TITLE:
→Blood

[Csilla Angelis]

{REVISE}

First of all, welcome to MDA! You've got some changes to make to your app, but that's not a big deal!


Username:
-Your username should read your name: "Peyton." It doesn't need to say "Blood Alchemist Peyton"

Case File:
-You need to delete the message that indicates "DELETE" and also specify what you are. Alchemist? Alkahestrist? Militant only? If you're a militant, name your military. Amestrian? Cretan? Xingese?
-Underneath, there is a spot to put some lyrics or a quote. This could be from a song to describe your character or one they enjoy. Or the quote could be something they would commonly say.

Age:
-Remove the information regarding being a State Alchemist.

Image:
-Save the picture to your computer and then upload it using a site like tinypic.com Then use the code that starts with [img] and put that in the spoiler.

Description:
-It's only 129 words. It needs to be 150. Maybe elaborate a little on her tone of voice or how she walks.

Personality:
-Your personality is way too short. It needs to be 300 words; you're only at 114. Try to expand a little more. Is she antisocial out of fear? Is she more comfortable when she's by herself? How does she act when she's alone? Things like that!

Love/Hate:
-Just make it a list. You don't need the "Peyton likes" and "Peyton dislikes".

History:
-Only 259 words. It needs to be 450. You could talk more about why Peyton's dad became an alcoholic, how old she was when it happened... how it effected her.
-Human transmutation... if I recall, I don't know how often that gets approved. I'll have to talk to the admin regarding that, but maybe you could rework the history without it.
-Maybe elaborate more about living with her aunt and uncle and what she did. How she struggled without her leg before she was fitted with automail.

Trivia:
-You could add more into your trivia if you'd like. Maybe state again that she's a librarian or something she really likes to do. Her favorite book, maybe.
-Also, you need to color your language.

Code:

[color=INSERT COLOR HERE]            [/color]

So instead of Amestrian, it could be Amestrian. You can choose whatever color you like!

Custom Rank:
-Your rank might be too long. Plus, you can make it more about Peyton personally, than just stating what she is. Maybe the "Quiet Librarian" or the "Metal Bookworm". So many options! ^^

At the bottom, fix the code where it says "[/center"... there needs to be a "]" there to complete the code.



I know it looks like a lot to work on, but you've got a great start! Any of the other mods, the admin or the other members will always help you with expanding on some details or thinking up new things. Don't be afraid to ask. Good luck! ^^ Put "WIP" in the title of your app until it's fixed. Once you're done, post here and remove the "WIP" and I'll review it again.

[Peyton]

Ah thank you so much! Yes you are very right with all your corrections. I shall fix those right away ^^ Thank you for your help!

[Csilla Angelis]

{REVISE}

A few more things... sorry!

Description:
-You are still three words short! (Here would be a good place to talk about how Peyton walks with a limp.)

Trivia:
-Make this into a list with arrows. So a new arrow for every piece of trivia, rather than a paragraph. Need an example? You can look at my app.
-Your language. In your signature you have green as the color for Amestrian, but in your app it's blue. They need to match, haha. Pick the color you'd prefer and change so they both match.

Fix these last few things and you should be good to go!

[Peyton]

Thank you, I have fixed it all ^^ Thanks again for helping me!

[Csilla Angelis]

{APPROVED}

Nice job! Don't forget to make a trans app for your alchemy!

[Reila Tsukino]

Archived.

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