Jake Barou

[Guest]

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CASE FILE: Alchemist

Learning as much as I can, that's my goal!
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FULL NAME:
→ Jake Barou

AGE:
→ 16


SEX:
→ Male

BIRTH PLACE:
→ Dublith,Amestris

RACE:
→ Amestrian

DATE OF BIRTH:
→ 12/9/1995

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HEIGHT:
→ 1,76 meters

WEIGHT:
→ 70 kilograms

PICTURE:
→

Spoiler:

DESCRIPTION:
→ Jake is a tall young man. His hair starts from a basic bowl type hair-style but gets more complicated as the sides of his hair are grown more, as well as his bangs.The color of his hair is a dark brown, matching his big eyes. The young Amestrian's body shape follows his dad's, athletic, forced a little bit on him because of the work required to do in order to help his family.His skin appears quite pale even if it's not, because of his brown eyes and dark hair.

He likes to dress in green, but only when it comes to jackets, and because he doesn't want to look like a fool, he wears some green sweat pants too. When not wearing a green jacket he wears a white T-shirt, some black sneakers and ocean blue jeans.When it is very hot outside he wears a white or black tank top, some shirts and his usual black sneakers.As he never experienced cold weather he doesn't know how to dress when in those circumstances.

Even at his age, his voice seems normal when you first hear it, but as you talk with him your realize his voice has quite a deep tone. Especially in a long sentence, as it becomes more and more obvious. His walking pattern is rather civilized. It looks like he is from the army, straight back, hands close to his body slowly moving them as he steps in a quite slow way.

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PERSONALITY:
→ Jake is a usual person when you meet him, or so you would think. Everything he does, he tries to be as great as his father.He tries to be just as him, if not even better, as he is his idol, the one man that he really looks up to and respects. When meeting someone he tries to get to know them, he isn't really shy and likes to make new friends. He is nice to them, sweet and compliments them, but if they are mean he will simply say something mean to them or just ignore them, not wanting to talk to mean persons.He thinks that mean persons are just a waste of time, as he doesn't consider being friends with them.

When he has a crush on someone or something like that he acts extra nice and sweet, complimenting that certain girl a lot.Jake is a nice and sweet person, as he was thought by his parents, though he usually spent time with his dad who taught him how to act with a "woman". He learned from his "idol" that he has got to prove himself to her, but won't go to extremes, like picking fights without any reason, or bragging. As he is a really modest person.

When in a fight he likes to chat with his enemies, hoping that they will say something, a mistake. Like telling him their weakness, a thing that he could use, but also to understand why they want to fight, what the reason is and what they specifically hope to achieve. He will not be so nice and won't have mercy for people who attempt, have or will kill. Jake won't hold back during a fight and won't underestimate his opponents, always thinking that he is weaker than them in order to not make any mistakes, just as his father taught him.

But when things are about his father he moves from his nice and sometimes goofy personality to a more serious one, asking people that are talking about him to please stop because it brings back memories. Though, deep inside he knows that a day will come when he'll go in the search of his father. If someone would tell him they knew his father he would simply try to achieve any information, with any means necessary.

LOVE:
→ Pancakes, girls, dogs, music, sparring.

HATE:
→ Cats, chicken, mean people, killing, the color red.

DEEPEST SECRET:
→ Is terrified of chicken

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HISTORY:
→ Jake Barou, son of Mina Barou and Nato Barou, was born in Dublith, Amestris.He was just like the other babies, other kids but at the age of six, his family got robbed so he had to give an extra hand and work more in order to maintain his family. Everyone was picking on him on the fact that his family was poor, even though he always had what he needed, food, clothes, a warm house and a place to sleep. Sometimes other kids even picked fights on him so he eventually, at the age of ten, he learned how to fight. By that time he was a very responsible lad, quite well built, also with a great personality because of how well he was raised. He held respect for others, especially for the ones that deserved it.

As he was 12 he had already learned how to fight pretty well, how to gather wood and all the other necessities in order to help his mother and his dad, he wanted to be exactly like his dad, as he was a very responsible and nice person, that everyone in the town liked. He had no idea that his dad was an alchemist, that, until the age of 14 when, as he was coming home with some firewood, he saw his dad with some blue gloves on his hands. Something engraved on them, he didn't have a good look. His dad waved his fingers and manipulating the air, making it hit some apples in a tree, the apples falling and hitting the ground. He asked him what that was, and his dad simply replied that it's alchemy, but no one can know because some people might get the wrong idea about him. He wanted to learn alchemy from his dad but he said that it isn't the time yet for him.

A few months later his father left a note for him and his mom, saying that he has to go somewhere to do something but he isn't really sure when he will be home, stating that he took his things from the house and left a lot of money in order to be sure that they were okay, letting Jake take care of the family from now on. They didn't like it but they didn't have anything to do against it, so... they lived with it. A week after getting the news he was offered his dad's old job, bar tending at the main Inn, which he took in hope to get more money to ensure a nice life for his mom and making his dad proud for when he would get back. His dad kept sending letters that he continued in his quest and that all are going well with him, and he is sorry that he is not there for them, but will be soon. But... at a point the weekly letters stopped coming, and Jake was, of course, worried.

One night,at the age of 15, as he was going through the book case, trying to find a book to read because he was very bored and it was night, so he had nothing to do, he noticed that the book case was moving.He pulled it a part and found a hole in the wall in which there was a rather big box. On the box there was a note from his dad saying that he thinks it's time for him to learn and that he left him things in order to help with that.Those were the only things left from his dad so they were very important to him, and, as he opened the box he could see a pair of blue gloves with a black circle inscribed on them with some signs, on top of a lot of organized books.There were probably 10 or 15 of them. He looked at the back of the note where it was stated what alchemy was and what the gloves used for, which was wind alchemy, and also the order in which he had to read the books.

He started reading them and learning, and by the time he was 16 he could do basic alchemy , but never tried the blue gloves, he knew the basics of alchemy and some more things about hydrogen, oxygen , and mostly things that composed the air.

As months passed he learned more and more from the books, and finally decided that he should try to use the gloves, so , he put them on, he mimicked his father's finger movements while pointing his hand at the wall but nothing happened. He continued reading and knew what he had to do now, so... at a night, he went outside his house and pointed his open palm towards the tree, concentrating on everything he's learned , everything about alchemy and on his goal. Then, he looked at the tree and imagined it happening. Then... after a few moments of focus...it happened, from his palm there was a big wind blast that hit the tree, making it slowly fall and hit the ground. He was amazed as well as horrified about what he could do with the right amount of focus, so he decided that he should learn to focus more, but later, only after he learned more.

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TRIVIA:
→ He is quite sensitive to coldness, as he has never experienced it.
He is completely terrified of chicken, almost giving him a heart attack when one is nearby.
→ Speaks Amestrian

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ALIAS:
→ Spike

OTHER CHARACTERS:
→ First Character

CREATOR'S COMMENTS:
→ I like the character creation template, a lot.

FACE CLAIM:

Code:

[b]Yu Yu Hakusho/ Yoshihiro Togashi[/b]/[i]Yusuke Urameshi[/i]

CUSTOM RANK:
→ Explorer

OFFICIAL TITLE:
→ Wind Blast

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[Guest]

Archive date is the 29th.

[Guest]

Finished.

[Csilla Angelis]

REVISE

Welcome to MDA! I've got a few things for you to look over on your app!

Name:
-Ichigawa sounds like a very Aerguese (MDA's version of Japan) last name. Unless your character has some Aerguese parents, it may benefit to change to an Amestrian surname.

Birth Place:
-Dublith, Amestris* (A little nitpicky, I know. But it helps with keeping things organized)

Description:
- "The young amestrian's body shape follows his dad's, athletic, forced a little bit on him because of the work required to do in order to help his family." Capitalize Amestrian.
-Also, it's not required, but you can expand on the way your character sounds when he talks and how he walks. It gives him a little more roundness, if you want ^^

Personality:
-Your personality seems pretty solid. HOWEVER, you do have a tendency to have a lot of run-on sentences. Example: "When he has a crush on someone or something like that he acts extra nice and sweet, complimenting that certain girl a lot, him being a nice person, as he was thought by his parents, though he usually spent time with his dad who taught him how to act with a "woman", knowing that he has got to prove himself to her, but won't go to extremes, like picking fights without any reason, or bragging, as he is a really modest person." Try and break things up into smaller sentences and thoughts, to help with a more easier read.

History:
-Again, history is pretty good. But you do have a fair amount of run-on sentences in there. Couple of spelling errors have also popped up. Go back in there and try to make things a little less run-on and a little more solid. He's got a decent story and it sets him up for doing things in the future.

Trivia:
-"He is quite sensible to coldness, as he has never experienced it." I think you mean sensitive*
-Don't be afraid to add more stuff in here!

Custom Rank:
-This is what will go under your avatar where it currently says "pending." So "none" won't exactly, work, haha. But if you're not sure what you want it to be, anyone would be happy to help!

All in all, I really like Jake. I'd love to see you make those changes and maybe develop him a little bit more. But that'll obviously come in time! And it's a suggestion, but you could look into making your character from another country. We're looking for militants in other places, or just potential future militants. There's no pressure, but it's something to think about.

Go ahead and make these few revisions and then post when you're finished. Then I'll take another peek!

[Guest]

I think I have edited where it needed to be edited, took everything in consideration and tried to edit as well as I could. Also, he's not on a side, so I want him to kind of get influenced as the story goes by a side or another.

[Csilla Angelis]

REVISE

Two more things! I'm sorry! T_T

Change your last name to Barou in your history
And change your username to also read Barou.

Once those are done, you're set! =D

[Guest]

No need to be sorry, I am doing everything that needs to be done in order for things to be right and in place! =). I have edited what you've asked me to.

[Reila Tsukino]

APPROVED

Barou is a pretty cool last name, albeit not German. I still like it.

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