Kamekaze,Otto

[Guest]

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CASE FILE: Alchemist/Aerugese Militant {2ND LIEUTENANT}

Only the strong survive the weak can just die.
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FULL NAME:
→ Otto Kamekaze

AGE:
→ AGE:17

SEX:
→ Male

BIRTH PLACE:
→ Edo, Aerugo

RACE:
→ Half Aerugese, a quarter Ishvallan, and a quarter Amestrian.

DATE OF BIRTH:
→ September 6, 1994

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HEIGHT:
→ 6'0” or 183 cm

WEIGHT:
→ 155lbs. or 70kgs.

PICTURE:
→

Spoiler:

DESCRIPTION:
Otto is easily remembered by anyone he meets. He walks at a slow pace as if he does not have a care in the world. He smiles at everyone (except friends and family) with a smooth smile that can melt all but the hardest hearts. His has ruby eyes that pull people in and easily distinguishable facial features on alabaster skin. He is muscled enough for it to be noticed but not enough to be intimidating. He has selectively spike hair that has grown to his mid back, and bangs that have grown to his collar bone. Most people at first glance would guess that he was a model, and be wrong. Anyone with any experience in his area of expertise could look into Otto’s eyes and see what he truly does. On his chest right over his heart he has a tattoo of the Aerugese symbol to symbolize his loyalty.

His fashion sense is great, but currently unattainable, Otto wishes he could wear silk dress shirts in varying colors, with a black vest and black slacks. But because of his money problems this is impossible. Casually Otto wears whatever is clean at the time. This usually consists of shorts(zebra stripes, leopard print, basic whatever) and a tee shirt(or no shirt) with running shoes. But, like always he wears his transmutation necklace. Around his neck he wears a silver necklace with a charm in the shape of his transmutation circle. This is a fully functional transmutation circle that he uses when he is forced to fight without being prepared.

While on missions Otto wears simple black pants, a long black over with a large hood that he occasionally uses to obscure vision of his face. He occasionally wears a red painted armor for added protection (when added protection is needed. For missions that require him to be anonymous Otto wears a mask Given to him by his first alchemy teacher, Pomme.

Otto carries a giant metal and wood fan with a razor sharp edge(one his alchemist tools) that is made of the same material as his armor. The fan is attached to a small scythe (2 foot handle, and 2 foot blade) by an eight foot detachable chain chain. He wears the Fan on his back with the handle slanted to his left. The scythe is in a small holster that is kept in easy reach of his right hand.All this is held up by a leather strap that has several slots that hold throwing blades.

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PERSONALITY:
Otto is a person who hates weakness in others and especially in himself. He was taught at a young age by his father that the weak die and the strong survive. Living by the survival of the fittest system that his dad drilled into him he can often be very harsh on the battlefield. He is quick to point out the flaw in others, and will only complement those who he believes truly deserve it.


Despite his hard exterior Otto truly cares for his friends and his family. He will throw his life on the line for them in an instant. However to those he does not care for he can be extremely ruthless. In a heartbeat he will decide who is useful at that moment and manipulate them for his own purposes; then as soon as they are useless he will discard them.

Otto is very smooth; he is often described as having a silver tongue. He can talk the weak minded into anything, and can even push the strong minded in the “right direction.” Cunning and manipulative Otto often can look some people in the eyes and seemingly put fear into their hearts as if they can see his intentions. Otto is a very neat person he believes that everything should be organized and clean he spends a lot of his off time cleaning and organizing his apartment(compared to his builing his room is insanely clean).

Otto is always ready for a fight and will egg one on but will never start it or throw the first punch(due ro past experiences). However, once a fight starts Otto will not stop until his opponents yield(he will never yield or one of them is unable to continue(dead or unconscious). This makes him extremely dangerous and hard to defeat.

Otto fights with a smile on his face(unless angered), and will laugh at an opponent, criticize their skill and overall humiliate them. This causes people to lose their cool and react in the ways Otto want them to. However when he finds an opponent whom he respects he is very quiet, and serious, planning his attack carefully.

Otto is loyal to a fault he will not betray his superiors or his inferiors; he will do exactly what he say he will do be it evil or good this make him a great soldier. Otto is very cool and calculated even in the most frightening of situations. He not will admit when something is upsetting him no matter what it is(unless it's someone he truly trusts). He is known to whistle a happy tune after he completes missions or is successful at anything for that matter, this gets him yelled at by some superiors who think that it is a sign of arrogance.

Otto in regular situations act smooth, and extremely charming(especially to those he wants something from). He hands out regular complements, and will listen to a persons problems as if he had known them for years. However, in return he will often smoothly allow you to pay for lunch ,or pick up his tab.

Otto is extremely flirtatious with women, in fact they are one of his vices. He uses his mental powers and skills to charm his way into any woman's (not able to resist his charms) pants. He is likely to bend over backwards to help a female in need, he call this his gentleman nature whereas his associates call it being an idiot.

LOVE:
→ Weapons, women, sex, personal care, sparring, power, books, Dogs, battle

HATE:
→ Little kids, weakness , His land lord, frozen yogurt, filth, clowns, small places, the color yellow, ducks, geese, the Titanic movie, Anarchy, processed foods, stray animals, Homeless people, baby's crying on airplanes, bad jokes, Goats, loud noises, begging, clowns, howler monkeys, and much much more

DEEPEST SECRET:
→ Fears clowns

IDOLS:
→ Pomme,Achilles, Alexander the great, Snoopy, and Johnny Depp These are the strongest people in history(in his opinion) they all dominated the world in their own way

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HISTORY:
→ Otto’s father(Kintaro) was a very rich high ranking official in the Aerugese Empire. Kintaro was a very arrogant man who believed in strength of body and mind. Lita(Otto's mother) was a half Amestrian(father) ,half Ishvallan(mother) bartender living in Aerugo. The two met in a Aerugese bar Lita was working in at the time. Kintaro like her immediately and one long mushy gushy story later the two were wed and Otto was born.

As Otto grew up he was taught by Kintaro to be strong at all times. That weakness was unacceptable in men. His father believed that only the strong survived and if you died you were either weak or you were killed by someone stronger. However Kintaro did not believe in solely strength of the body he believed in strength of the mind as well. he would mentally challenge the young man as soon as he could speak coherently.

Lita on the other hand taught Otto to keep the people you cared about close and protect them with everything you have because they will not be there forever; this lead to his current inability to not protect those dear to him. She also taught him that everything had its proper place ,and that the world was meant to be neat if it was not there would be chaos. Lita was a much more gentle influence in his life than his father she taught him how to be caring and smooth, Whereas his father taught him to be emotionless, tough, and thoughtful.

His parents wanted him to have the best education possible so they sent him to the best tutors all over the world. At a young age he showed an interest in alchemy, so he decided to make that his main study.

Otto Trained under the great Pomme the tornado alchemist at 13. Pomme was 87 years old and still filled with youth. He smoked he drank, and he flirted with(harassed) young women. in his youth Pomme was a great masked assassin(most people alive did not know this ,not even Otto until Pomme died) It was said that when your number was up all you saw were his eye holes. Pomme taught Otto Tornado alchemy(it allows the user to create tornado's out of thin air) The alchemy that gave Pomme his title.

Otto was young and stupid he took what he learned from Pomme and started a fight with several men in a bar. He started of great with his fighting skills and his new tornado alchemy; h stomped out the competition. That is until one of the men in the bar revealed he was an alchemist as well. Beating the shit out of Otto easily The fire alchemist planned to kill him. Until Pomme revealed that he had been watching Otto at a distance the entire time. The alchemist was strong but he was no match for nearly a century of skill that Pomme held under his belt. Pomme took Otto home and patched him up but when Otto awoke the next day Pomme didn't. Otto was saddened by this ,but did not get depressed thanks to a final note from the old man. The note read;

"Dear Otto,

If you're reading this I'm dead LOL. Training you has been a blast; I enjoyed every minute of it. Thank you for bringing happiness to an old soul. Now to business I have no children and little money all i have leave you is the most valuable possession in the world a name a legacy. Take my mask become the Tornado alchemist, and continue the legend that has been going on for nearly 100 years.

With love- Pomme the tornado of the past
P.S.- Take more Alchemist and fighting classes I can't have my legacy corrupted by a little boy who fights like a girl."

Otto Took the mask and his tools which the letter happened to be taped to, and vowed to live up to this great warriors legacy. needless to say he took more Alchemy and more combat courses to become just as dangerous as the original tornado was. In fact Otto might be more dangerous.

Despite all the training Otto went through his father still things he's soft. Kintaro refuses to allow otto to touch his money until Otto has earned it. This means Otto must become a strong respectable warrior before he gets the smallest piece of his fortune.Otto works for the Aerugese Empire as an alchemist specializing in the Wind element. His skills are often employed in spying and assassinations and occasionally "pacification." With this job he hope to earn the respect of his father and by extension the right to his fortune

Otto lives in a small apartment, and eats very cheap foods. This is a big step away from the life he is used to. This often leads to extensive complaining about how food tastes like crap and him paying rent to rats.

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TRIVIA:
-languages- Cretan(red) {fluently}Aerugese(green){fluently} Xingese(violet){O.K.} Amestrian (white){passably} Drachman(black) {barely}
-Otto is claustrophobic
-He dislikes small children because he believes they are filthy
-Pomme was not the first tornado alchemist. The title is meant to be passed on before -the holder dies, and when it's not someone will eventually pick it up because of the fear it produces.
-Otto can drive but can't afford a car right now
-Otto was named after Litas deceased father
-Otto's mother hates that he has decided to become a warrior rather than a peaceful man and is often very critical of him
-people tend to think that the tornado alchemist is immortal(Because the title is passed on to the current holder's student). therefore, when people meet Otto and find out who he is it adds an extra air of fear(because he's so young)
-Otto took the tonado alchemist name before he mastered the skill. Therefore, for now he can't actually use tornado alchemy.
-despite being part Ishvallan he can't speak the language
-Otto has been to to tutors all over the world and beacause of this he is very adept in several languages.
-Otto is one of the many men on earth who go to nail salons(and one of the very few to admit it)
-Otto is very adept at fighting his main style is a super brutalized Taekwondo/ judo mix
-Otto works several odd jobs during his time off

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ALIAS:
→ Otto

OTHER CHARACTERS:
→ this is my first

FACE CLAIM:

Code:

[b]Naruto[/b]/[i]Madara [/i]

CUSTOM RANK:
→ The Breeze Assassin

OFFICIAL TITLE:
→ The Tornado Alchemist

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[Guest]

{REVISE}

Hello, welcome to the site and... FIRST DEAL OF BUSINESS.

- Don't modify the templates, revert them to the way they are without any of those enhancements with white. They were fine the way they were before.

- If your name is Otto Kamekaze, which is an Amestrian name with an Aerugese surname, then how is he Xingese in any way? Amestris is our expy of Germany, Aerugo the expy of Japan, and Xing the expy of China.

- Would be nice to have a name for the Oasis village.

- Wearing practical clothing wouldn't be a Kimono, some armor from some "super light metal" and some black hoodie in a desert environment where the sun bakes those. Address those paradoxes in particular. Makes me wonder how he actually survived the trip with such encumbering effects. Also give the metal a name, and how it is attained exactly in the middle of an Oasis village in the desert. Was it possibly the father even?

- Having red eyes is the distinct sign of an Ishvallan in particular, something neglected to be mentioned in the race.

- Being cool and being emotional are contradictions of each other, a cool minded person takes in the situation calmly and acts accordingly, whereas an emotional person doesn't have as much control and displays themselves far more bluntly. Address those contradictions in particular, even when you used "despite".

- Ahhh, now to history. Living in an oasis is not the best thing to do given they would be very wet, but jesting aside... why did his father get sent in a mission into the middle of a desert despite being a high official? And a rich one at that of all things? Something he would no doubt have better equipment and some sort of entourage at least, especially if it was apparently on "Imperial business" from the Xing Empire's highest echelons, and ESPECIALLY because he is rich. Those of high stature aren't in delegated to trivial jobs such as making reports in the desert.

Why would the Xing Empire care about some village in the middle of an oasis? And still, doesn't answer why the father was sent in the middle of a DESERT. And somehow that tells me that he didn't complete his mission, but merely sent a report back that made Xing go out of its way to protect some village in the middle of a desert.

If the father taught "Otto" how to be emotionless, then how is it he is so emotional in his personality?

I am getting the distinct impression Otto is sent alone to those tutors, makes me wonder how he lived through the desert trip, but do clarify about that aspect.

History is meant to tell about things of the character's journeys that makes an impact on him, not him attaining things that would empower him so such as Taekowdo or the like, best put those into trivia.

Erm... Xing teaches Alkahestry, not Alchemy. Rectify that bit.

Leaving the village at such a young age... learning all those things so quickly to, and JUST BEING 17 YEARS OLD. I'd like you to scale back the amount of things Otto knows despite living in the middle of the desert, if sent to the rest of the world on primitive means that Xing endeavors for, that would take even more time, and leave him inadequate at those aspects where someone with a more readily available access would have. And leaving the village outright like that for little explained motivations besides "they were weak" without much prompt or even a backstory towards it calls for a rewrite and more of an explanation as to how such a taste came about.

- Too many languages at trivia, punt those out. Rouenian would be probably spoken in Gelemortian dialect, and Gelemorté is too far away from the desert, TOO FAR. So is Creta, and Esparia, with Drachma being plausibly reachable and so is Amestris, but that's as far as it goes. Scale it back.

- Custom rank shouldn't be a dot, it should be a title you want underneath your name.

- Fix the image fart underneath which says [img][/img], totally inconsistent with the application.

[Guest]

I hope this is better.
I think I Edited what i needed.

[Guest]

Also the fonts for the texts, should only be reserved for the titles. The texts that explain the description, history of Otto and etc. shouldn't be the same as the title.

[Guest]

Alright i changed the fonts, and the custom ranks.

[Guest]

No, you didn't change the fonts, you just minimized it. Look, just get the templates, and don't use the same fonts as the template when writing your application.

https://mdalchemist.rpg-board.net/t2655-profile-templates

[Guest]

Alright it's unminimized and the font of everything excluding the title are now times new roman.

[Guest]

Look, don't change any of the fonts. Just paste the templates, don't mess with the coding or the like, paste your entries in the appropriate selection, and that's it. Leave it at that. You're not supposed to write inside the coding brackets, but outside of it.

[Guest]

Wow, i feel like an idiot.
I changed it
I also added a few things

[Guest]

{REVISE}

Ah, back to business once again. Alright, some more points to address as it goes.

- If you were a spawn of a union that was from an Aerugese and a "Utopian", the proper thing to do in race is to put half-Aerugese, and half-Utopian as an example.

- Savvy businessman shouldn't be in the description, conducting one's self is a personality trait. Super metal shouldn't be allowed, punt that out out of the description as well, and why is an Aerugese fashioned armor smithed by a "Utopian" smith whom are supposedly descendants from Amestrians?

Also, red eyes is not a trait of Amestrians or "Utopians" whom are descendants from Amestris... it is the trait of Ishvallan people, the white haired red eyed and dark skinned people of Ishval. Also those tools you have and necklace for alchemy? Advice is to put that over to the Alchemist Transmutation Equipment section.

- May seem silly, but Xerxes is the name of the civilization that is the precursor towards modern day alchemy, and not meant to be that of Xerxes the guy who attacked the Greeks with a massive Persian force. Get rid of that one tad bit little idol.

- If the tribe was that of a descendant from Amestris, they wouldn't exactly be in such a "primitive" way given that Amestrians have years of cultural prostating and the like to advance themselves into a very advanced society. In the same way one cannot expect city slickers to dwell out into the wilds and suddenly become primitives, given their cultural upbringings made them quite sophisticated to say the least. It is also improbable it would be a tribe of Amestrians whereas for people like Ishvallans or some wayward Xingese, would be far more plausible.

Aerugo is not under any war with the desert given there is no governments to account for it, would not send a high ranking official that HAPPENS to be one of the economical elites on the mission for "peace" into there. Also Aerugo is reminiscent of Imperial Japan with modern equipment, it does not use Samurai-like armor or the like as a heads up, and they are in no way olden style (Xing has the distinction and honor of holding that up). But hilariously enough, you got it right that Aerugo WOULD take a rare mineral if it ever came across such a deposit, BUUUUT they wouldn't exactly offer even terms with the people given their history and modus operandi. But anyways, punt out the whole new metal aspect at least. The "Utopians" would become nothing more than laborers working for little pay, or in fact even entirely displaced as a possibility if that were the case. Aerugo is ruthless like that.

You may want to tone down the whole "20%" richer aspect in just 2 years deal, going into the middle of the desert while having a post as a high official in the government can be taxing, and can even result in the father's demotion out of neglect. Money would be something not found in the middle of the desert aside from how much the father can carry in his pockets, and the rest would be kept in a bank or the like, or at his place. Hauling such a huge load of money on the other hand would make the person a very valuable target for bandits to attack, and as a result, leaves the person finally in a very uncomfortable situation as there is little ways to win at this. There is also maintenance to consider for whatever previous household the father had before leaving it behind, and the possibility of losing money for those 17 years. The transfer of accounts would first have to be observed and even put in by the father, he has to renew his passports, and Otto himself would have to register as an Aerugese citizen given he was born outside of it. Which is to say everything would be complicated.

As a note, being a famed business man playboy millionaire is a HORRIBLE angle for spies. Sure it leaves you access towards things, but being known makes your job harder, it's easier to reference your character up, AND the scrutiny that comes from being spotted would make life basically horrid. Spies are picked from people that aren't exactly noteworthy, and the best spies are the ones nobody has ever heard of or even knew they existed. Clandestine operatives dwell upon secrecy and shadows, whereas your Batman-like character on the other hand with Alchemy that has quite the flair would make for a high profile "Black Ops" soldier, which is a contradictory angle here.

- Flying all over the world to all tutors would make for a huge financial burden given the prices of money, AND going to each tutors, being the best, would charge a lot and all that.


All in all, I'd like you to tone down those aspects to which you are free to decide how far you'd like to tweak them around, so not to sacrifice creativity. When you're done, I'll take another gander at your application. Happy editing.

[Guest]

Alright I've changed it
I hope i'm done

[Guest]

{REVISE}

- Alrighty, new ruling even though this may seem abrupt. Punt out the whole Utopian aspect entirely and stick with the existing race. Preferably Ishvallans in the Great Desert or some Xingese nomads.

- Red eyes is a trait of ISHVALLANS as I say. Why does he have it if his mum is Amestrian and the dad is Aerugese?

- Mind elaborating HOW he was flown to the tutors despite being in the middle of the desert where there is no transportation aside from animals? And even then, as a youth, that shouldn't exactly be plausible given Otto would suffer from a deficiency that would be... a lack of experience in doing things. It says his father and mother trained him in speaking and thinking, but did they even teach him survival skills?

Also, if that village is unimportant and since you got rid of the resources it has which is SUPER VALUABLE! The Aerugese Empire is likely not to care about some low down run down village in the middle of the desert anyways as a heads up. It is not valuable and not even worth considering.

Correct me if I am wrong but... how is BEING 87 YEARS OLD YOUNG?! Pomme isn't young by today's average standards even.

Also, why is the father's business STILL running after 15 years? There is nobody to handle it, and his only business as it implies is just being an official in the Aerugese Empire, which is to say taking care of some governmental business. If he can't handle those deals, Aerugo is bound to replace him, which would in turn leave him with no reliable source of income from the civilized world.

If you are a "Rich businessman" by the way, and you're also an assassin, that STILL makes a horrible combo as I say before. You'd be well known because wealth brings fame, and the best assassin is usually the unknown one. No doubt having been involved in "pacification" is horrible for PR if you were EVER sighted. Also training under some famed Alchemist is bound to get attention unto you, especially since he is a "tornado alchemist".

[Guest]

I change everything except the young old man comment.
It's an expression that means that the old person is full of life.

[Guest]

{REVISE}

Haha, I like reviewing this character application. Anyways, here are the things below to address.

- If your mum is Ishvallan, and your dad is Aerugese, then why is his name distinctively Amestrian?

- You mention a Lita and Kintaro, but it seems a bit... strange in the beginning the way you cropped up most of it for where they were supposed to have met to have procreated Otto or even married, all it seems like is that Lita is around as a bartender Otto visits if anything. May want to remedy that.

The way things are written implied makes it seem like Otto has always been in the Aerugese Empire, so you may want to punt out the repeat that he was sent there when he is already in Aerugo to study Alchemy. May not be the best place to learn Alchemy and all that jazz, but it has it there anyways.

Also expression for youth, just mention he is filled with youthly vigor or something instead of the fact he is young despite being 87 years old.

You should change the tornado Alchemy bit, may fall under changes and what have you in your transmutation application, may want to just change it to plain old wind.

- You still have Utopians reference in the trivia, punt that bit out.



Address those changes and I'll take another round of a gander here.

[Guest]

*Bangs head on wall*
Alright i changed it

[Guest]

{APPROVED}

I hereby dub thee the rank of Second Lieutenant, and stuff.

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