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A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
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A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
Gravel crunched beneath her steel boots, clashing with the sounds of glass as she walked along the streets of Moscow. Her head was held low, eyes shadowed by hair that spread down and in front of her face. She had cried. This woman, who should know nothing of the pain of loss, cried. Sky-blue eyes hung down, watching each of her footsteps as she trailed through the streets. She had left Ivanka behind, to be healed. She had no place by his side, not as a failed soldier. She had lost Marismo, and she could not even help this one person. She had failed her task to protect Lady Alena, instead abandoning her in order to help her country. Had she done the wrong job? Her sorrowful gaze took it's sharp looks away from the street that she trailed down, instead looking up into the sky as she watched the clouds travel through the morning air. "Was it so hard?" She chuckled, letting a couple of tears drip down her cheeks. She was supposed to be stoic and powerful, a force to be reckoned with throughout all of Drachma. This wasn't her place, not if she was like this. She had to be cold; she had to fit in with the ice and snow of this world, but was it enough? She choked back a couple of sobs, and her gaze fell to the ground once more. This young Knight hobbled through the frozen world as tears continued to fall, freezing before they hit the ground. Drachma was cold, lonely, hellish. She hated it, but at the same time could not live without its touch. A small laugh, and she clambered over fallen rubble, looking up to see that monolithic structure that was now on the ground.
"Is it worth it?" A breathy whisper; and Sablya laughed again, but this time in an attempt to hide the truth of this situation from her own mind and heart. She was a failure, and she should be dead. She should be dead, but she didn't want to be. But, she was loyal to Drachma. That was above all else. So she should be dead, she didn't want to be, but she didn't have a choice... Stumbling over a few rocks and the like, Sablya started to slow her walking down, finally reaching the front of the Kremlin itself and falling to her knees. This building had fallen. That was their last hope, their last dream. She knew that even if it were to be rebuilt, it would never be the same. Shiiink. The sharp sound of a blade being drawn from its sheathe resounded in the silent and still morning air, Sablya raising the sword she knew as Excalibur to her throat, closing her eyes and swallowing. She was a Knight. Her honor had been breached. She had no choice but to do it. If she died now, her life would return her to Sovngarde, that bountiful place of existence... or would it? Would her death do anything for anyone? Would it bring anyone happiness? Would it bring anyone pain? Was she really just worth nothing in the larger picture of the world? "That is a foolish notion. Only humans are worthless in the great picture." So, if she were worthless, then she was human. She wasn't human. That was something she could never see herself as...
"When you draw that sword from that stone, you will no longer be human." That was what had been said to her, all those years previous. No, that was what had been said to her incarnation... Right? Shaking her head, Sablya's eyes suddenly opened widely, the blade dropping from her throat and clattering on the ground. She leaned forwards, and shouted out in inner pain, her gauntlet-covered hands planting themselves flat onto the solemn earth. Loud sobs rung out into the air, and she gasped for air as she did so, crying into nothing. She was a failure as a Knight. She couldn't even kill herself properly. What a coward. That's all she was. That's why she could only shout after that girl from the Kuvalda, despite being perfectly able to give chase. Because she was a coward. She could have resisted the notion of explosions and taken on that Amestrian, but she didn't. Because she was a coward. She should've taken her own life... but she didn't. Because she was a coward. That's all. Just one great lump of cowardice. She could've gone with Lady Alena. But... she already felt uncomfortable around those other two. Those people named of RIOTE. RIOTE... the stories she had heard; they were disconcerting to her. It sickened her to even consider the idea that Lady Alena might be involved in such disgusting acts. Clenching her teeth together, the woman in the blue dress held in another sob, leaning back to look up into that beautiful sky once more.
The ribbon in her hair had come loose, and blonde locks fell around her face, framing an expression of pain and anguish. "I'm just a coward who can't even accept who she is..." Her voice spoke the words that were on the back of her mind. She was a coward, and she had been telling herself that over and over again. Maybe, if she told it to herself enough, it'd stop being true, and she'd finally become a brave woman once more. Soldiers ran around her, tending to the injured, digging away rubble, and just leaving her be. How useless she was, unable to even help a few men dig some rubble away. All she could do was sit here and cry away her sorrows... "Huh..." She chuckled, and shook her head. It was never going to help. Instead, she had to simply keep her eyes forwards. Sablya was a woman who could not be herself. Instead, she had to be what people expected her to be. Be it a knight, or a king, Sablya would not fail those who trusted her... pushing up off of the metallic earth, she forced her aching and weak body to move, standing up and closing her eyes as she did so... No more crying, no more sobbing...
"Is it worth it?" A breathy whisper; and Sablya laughed again, but this time in an attempt to hide the truth of this situation from her own mind and heart. She was a failure, and she should be dead. She should be dead, but she didn't want to be. But, she was loyal to Drachma. That was above all else. So she should be dead, she didn't want to be, but she didn't have a choice... Stumbling over a few rocks and the like, Sablya started to slow her walking down, finally reaching the front of the Kremlin itself and falling to her knees. This building had fallen. That was their last hope, their last dream. She knew that even if it were to be rebuilt, it would never be the same. Shiiink. The sharp sound of a blade being drawn from its sheathe resounded in the silent and still morning air, Sablya raising the sword she knew as Excalibur to her throat, closing her eyes and swallowing. She was a Knight. Her honor had been breached. She had no choice but to do it. If she died now, her life would return her to Sovngarde, that bountiful place of existence... or would it? Would her death do anything for anyone? Would it bring anyone happiness? Would it bring anyone pain? Was she really just worth nothing in the larger picture of the world? "That is a foolish notion. Only humans are worthless in the great picture." So, if she were worthless, then she was human. She wasn't human. That was something she could never see herself as...
"When you draw that sword from that stone, you will no longer be human." That was what had been said to her, all those years previous. No, that was what had been said to her incarnation... Right? Shaking her head, Sablya's eyes suddenly opened widely, the blade dropping from her throat and clattering on the ground. She leaned forwards, and shouted out in inner pain, her gauntlet-covered hands planting themselves flat onto the solemn earth. Loud sobs rung out into the air, and she gasped for air as she did so, crying into nothing. She was a failure as a Knight. She couldn't even kill herself properly. What a coward. That's all she was. That's why she could only shout after that girl from the Kuvalda, despite being perfectly able to give chase. Because she was a coward. She could have resisted the notion of explosions and taken on that Amestrian, but she didn't. Because she was a coward. She should've taken her own life... but she didn't. Because she was a coward. That's all. Just one great lump of cowardice. She could've gone with Lady Alena. But... she already felt uncomfortable around those other two. Those people named of RIOTE. RIOTE... the stories she had heard; they were disconcerting to her. It sickened her to even consider the idea that Lady Alena might be involved in such disgusting acts. Clenching her teeth together, the woman in the blue dress held in another sob, leaning back to look up into that beautiful sky once more.
The ribbon in her hair had come loose, and blonde locks fell around her face, framing an expression of pain and anguish. "I'm just a coward who can't even accept who she is..." Her voice spoke the words that were on the back of her mind. She was a coward, and she had been telling herself that over and over again. Maybe, if she told it to herself enough, it'd stop being true, and she'd finally become a brave woman once more. Soldiers ran around her, tending to the injured, digging away rubble, and just leaving her be. How useless she was, unable to even help a few men dig some rubble away. All she could do was sit here and cry away her sorrows... "Huh..." She chuckled, and shook her head. It was never going to help. Instead, she had to simply keep her eyes forwards. Sablya was a woman who could not be herself. Instead, she had to be what people expected her to be. Be it a knight, or a king, Sablya would not fail those who trusted her... pushing up off of the metallic earth, she forced her aching and weak body to move, standing up and closing her eyes as she did so... No more crying, no more sobbing...
Guest- Guest
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
Nyx roamed the ruined street along the location of the Kremlin. Looking back on what had happened, Aurel hadn't really seemed to care very much that she had failed. Not only had she thought that he would have punished her for that failure, but she never once believed she would be rewarded for her service in RIOTE. Now she was akin to Aurel and Lyte. Hild. She was still surprised. But nonetheless, she felt her failure run rather deep. She felt like she had failed both Aurel and Hild, AND Alena. She didn't really know the czar too well, and she wasn't too patriotic about Drachma, but she felt the searing pain of knowing she had been given orders to protect the Kremlin, and they had been disregarded, even if it wasn't her fault. That was truly the way of Nyx, though- Be it her fault or not, she felt the need to bear the scars of it.
Speaking of failure and the Kremlin, Nyx spied the girl who had been defending the Kremlin with her. Nyx really didn't catch much of her, considering she was slung into combat with Cora so soon after arriving. What would she be doing here? Perhaps pondering on the events of past as well. Nyx began to approach her, and noticed the beautiful sword raised to her throat. As Sablya lowered the blade, Nyx spoke, softly, but almost as if chastising her in that way small children will do on occasion. "Don't kill yourself. Life is precious- You only get one, you know. Besides, you're bigger than that, I can tell by looking at you. What are you doing here all alone, anyways, miss?" Nyx stepped a bit closer, with her hands clasped behind her back, wings loose for once, in her white dress. Leaning forward slightly, she had the obvious appearance of all curious chi;dren ever.
Speaking of failure and the Kremlin, Nyx spied the girl who had been defending the Kremlin with her. Nyx really didn't catch much of her, considering she was slung into combat with Cora so soon after arriving. What would she be doing here? Perhaps pondering on the events of past as well. Nyx began to approach her, and noticed the beautiful sword raised to her throat. As Sablya lowered the blade, Nyx spoke, softly, but almost as if chastising her in that way small children will do on occasion. "Don't kill yourself. Life is precious- You only get one, you know. Besides, you're bigger than that, I can tell by looking at you. What are you doing here all alone, anyways, miss?" Nyx stepped a bit closer, with her hands clasped behind her back, wings loose for once, in her white dress. Leaning forward slightly, she had the obvious appearance of all curious chi;dren ever.
Nyx- US & OURSELVES
- Posts : 187
Points : 3
-Case File-
Level: 4
Rank: Nyx
Writer: Jay
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
Work. Work. Work.
The days of war were now behind them, and now they needed to rebuild. Such was the consequence of life, that which is destroyed is meant to be buried so that the new and young can be built atop it. He was among many, scrounging among the ruins. Just one man helping to rebuild ... or really one 'thing' was what he considered himself. In the midst of chaos, he found himself losing all grips upon his sanity, and allowing an inner demon loose upon the enemy. To be frank, he hated that: The surge of emotion, nay, elation when it came to fighting off the enemy.
Such primal instinct was not what the world needed. Especially not in their world, not in their Mother Drachma, not ever.
. . .
His back was turned, as he helped the others. For now, they were just doing all the can to find and identify the dead. Those killed by Amestrians and then buried, those crushed by the rubble, and others who expired from other causes. It was horrid, this face of war's consequence. A heinous sight. He did not know what was going on, as his back was turned, focused on clearing away debris so as to find bodies (or, as they all prayed, survivors). If he were a doctor instead of a soldier, he could have tended to the wounded ... but alas, he had only this small worthless means to help.
.
There was excited chatter all of a sudden: Had they found survivors? The Xingese-Drachman rose form his work, look at his fellow countrymen, to see what it was they were making a fuss about. To his surprise, they weren't facing the mountain of debris that was before them (and what remains of Drachmans and others littered inside of it). No, they were looking down the streets, where . . . it seemed someone was about to commit suicide?!
To be perfectly honest, Hei had no idea what to make of this scene . . . but given that that individual there was a Drachman, he felt some odd obligation to at least try to stop her from carrying out her suicide attempt.
-
Or, as he realized when he had drawn close, perhaps he needed to make sure to talk this individual out of committing suicide, it seems, now that she had dropped her blade upon the ground. The Xingese-Drachman, in his haste to get over, hadn't realized another individual of RIOTE had also approached the scene. At least, not until the death seeker had temporarily ceased their attempts, and Nyx had begun speaking . . . with Hei only a couple meters behind her.
While Lady Nyx posed her question, Hei followed slowly behind her, maintaining a respectable distance. . . . So, the stories were true, or the ones he'd heard from those in RIOTE and it's branches, the titleholder of Nyx was quite a fascinating individual, but that wasn't what surprised him the most . . .
"Sergeant ... Pendragon? The Right Rook?" he speaks ... gently, as though whispering out the rank, name and position. This, coming on the heels of the questions posed by Nyx, a very calm voice, with layered tones of concern. Surely, Hei's stories were infamous, but they only applied to the battlefield: Outside of that, he truly loves this country and those who are a part of it. So, seeing someone who is of an esteemed position attempt suicide was incredibly disheartening as well as alarming to him.
"Ma'am ... with due respect, what are you trying to do?!" he asks the question bluntly. Of course, since news didn't travel fast, he didn't know the cause or reason behind the Rook's actions, but ... either way, he wanted to know, and for all that was blessed in this land, make sure someone of her power and position would not take their own life. Mother Drachma was already weak enough as it is, they did not need the members of higher echelons taking their own lives . . .
The days of war were now behind them, and now they needed to rebuild. Such was the consequence of life, that which is destroyed is meant to be buried so that the new and young can be built atop it. He was among many, scrounging among the ruins. Just one man helping to rebuild ... or really one 'thing' was what he considered himself. In the midst of chaos, he found himself losing all grips upon his sanity, and allowing an inner demon loose upon the enemy. To be frank, he hated that: The surge of emotion, nay, elation when it came to fighting off the enemy.
Such primal instinct was not what the world needed. Especially not in their world, not in their Mother Drachma, not ever.
. . .
His back was turned, as he helped the others. For now, they were just doing all the can to find and identify the dead. Those killed by Amestrians and then buried, those crushed by the rubble, and others who expired from other causes. It was horrid, this face of war's consequence. A heinous sight. He did not know what was going on, as his back was turned, focused on clearing away debris so as to find bodies (or, as they all prayed, survivors). If he were a doctor instead of a soldier, he could have tended to the wounded ... but alas, he had only this small worthless means to help.
.
There was excited chatter all of a sudden: Had they found survivors? The Xingese-Drachman rose form his work, look at his fellow countrymen, to see what it was they were making a fuss about. To his surprise, they weren't facing the mountain of debris that was before them (and what remains of Drachmans and others littered inside of it). No, they were looking down the streets, where . . . it seemed someone was about to commit suicide?!
To be perfectly honest, Hei had no idea what to make of this scene . . . but given that that individual there was a Drachman, he felt some odd obligation to at least try to stop her from carrying out her suicide attempt.
-
Or, as he realized when he had drawn close, perhaps he needed to make sure to talk this individual out of committing suicide, it seems, now that she had dropped her blade upon the ground. The Xingese-Drachman, in his haste to get over, hadn't realized another individual of RIOTE had also approached the scene. At least, not until the death seeker had temporarily ceased their attempts, and Nyx had begun speaking . . . with Hei only a couple meters behind her.
While Lady Nyx posed her question, Hei followed slowly behind her, maintaining a respectable distance. . . . So, the stories were true, or the ones he'd heard from those in RIOTE and it's branches, the titleholder of Nyx was quite a fascinating individual, but that wasn't what surprised him the most . . .
"Sergeant ... Pendragon? The Right Rook?" he speaks ... gently, as though whispering out the rank, name and position. This, coming on the heels of the questions posed by Nyx, a very calm voice, with layered tones of concern. Surely, Hei's stories were infamous, but they only applied to the battlefield: Outside of that, he truly loves this country and those who are a part of it. So, seeing someone who is of an esteemed position attempt suicide was incredibly disheartening as well as alarming to him.
"Ma'am ... with due respect, what are you trying to do?!" he asks the question bluntly. Of course, since news didn't travel fast, he didn't know the cause or reason behind the Rook's actions, but ... either way, he wanted to know, and for all that was blessed in this land, make sure someone of her power and position would not take their own life. Mother Drachma was already weak enough as it is, they did not need the members of higher echelons taking their own lives . . .
Guest- Guest
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
"Don't kill yourself." A young, female voice shone out from behind her, Sablya slowly turning her body to look at the source of it all. "Life is precious- You only get one, you know." She bit her lower lip and looked away slightly, holding back the want to just walk up to this girl and shout all of her sorrows into her face. N-no, that was the wrong thing to do. There was no need to take it out on someone young and innocent; though she remembered seeing this one in the fight in the Kremlin. Ah, to lose one's innocence at such a young age; it made Sablya feel rather... sad. "Besides, you're bigger than that, I can tell by looking at you." She gasped a little, turning and looking back at Nyx with her sorrowful blue orbs. Such strange-colored hair for a little girl, a very blue-green tone. It was unusual for anyone, really... She chuckled softly, and stepped forwards, shaking her head. "Am I?" What are you doing here all alone, anyways, miss?" Ah, this one had wings. Such... beautiful wings... one would wish to simply take flight and leave it all behind... "Sergeant ... Pendragon? The Right Rook?" Ah... a light gasp left her throat again, and she cast her gaze upon the man who had now approached. Oh, it was him. That man who killed without regret, mowing down man after man in defense of this country. At least, those were the stories that she had heard.
"Ma'am ... with due respect, what are you trying to do?!" "Tch..." That was a good question. What was she trying to do? Was she trying to denounce her own life? That on its own seemed like the most plausible option, yes. She was simply removing that which had caused a blemish upon her country. They had won, but there was too great a cost. She did not need to be here, nor would she have any purpose... but she couldn't have done so. Her death would be too much of a bother... for Lady Alena. Though, to continue to work for Lady Alena alone bothered her... Gah, why was emotion so confusing? Shaking her head, Sablya lowered her gaze onto Hei, narrowing her eyes slightly as she did so. "What can... I say?" Her words held back sobs; her voice was dry and shaky. One with any sense could tell that she was, in fact, in great mental pain. This very idea of dying for her country... no, the very idea of dying for her sins... was that cowardice? No, there was no shame in dying once you had already been shamed. For that, she would voice her opinions to the other as plainly as she could. "Ngh... I cannot explain myself, can I?" She laughed dryly, hanging her head, her shoulders bouncing with the motion of laughter. "I was... simply ridding this world of someone who it doesn't need."
Those words were the truth. They were, she had to be telling the truth. But it was too much to bear, as well. She coughed, choking up another couple of sobs as she did so. N-no... mustn't show weakness before these people. People who looked up to her for strength. It was the way of a King, and the way of a Knight. She had to continue to tell herself that, or she would never make it in this world. Or... "Is there really a place for such a wounded and damaged soul?" Her gaze returned to Hei once more, eyes shimmering with tears that started to roll down her cheeks once more. "I failed to protect... the Kremlin... I f-failed to protect... Ivanka... and Marismo..." She stumbled slightly, coughing and falling forwards, landing on her knees. "All I could do was... clean up at the end... There was nothing, nothing, NOTHING!" She threw her head back, screaming her terror, and her fear, and her sorrow, all into the world of cold snow and white ice. Her head remained pointed to the sky, laughing with a choking sob once more. "W-why... does it hurt? Wh-what does emotion have to do... I-I'm not allowed to be h-human... S-so why must such... trivial thing... j-just hurt so much?" Her mind was so fuzzy, working through everything that she could think of, but it was all so wrong to her. Emotion... what was that feeling for?
"Ma'am ... with due respect, what are you trying to do?!" "Tch..." That was a good question. What was she trying to do? Was she trying to denounce her own life? That on its own seemed like the most plausible option, yes. She was simply removing that which had caused a blemish upon her country. They had won, but there was too great a cost. She did not need to be here, nor would she have any purpose... but she couldn't have done so. Her death would be too much of a bother... for Lady Alena. Though, to continue to work for Lady Alena alone bothered her... Gah, why was emotion so confusing? Shaking her head, Sablya lowered her gaze onto Hei, narrowing her eyes slightly as she did so. "What can... I say?" Her words held back sobs; her voice was dry and shaky. One with any sense could tell that she was, in fact, in great mental pain. This very idea of dying for her country... no, the very idea of dying for her sins... was that cowardice? No, there was no shame in dying once you had already been shamed. For that, she would voice her opinions to the other as plainly as she could. "Ngh... I cannot explain myself, can I?" She laughed dryly, hanging her head, her shoulders bouncing with the motion of laughter. "I was... simply ridding this world of someone who it doesn't need."
Those words were the truth. They were, she had to be telling the truth. But it was too much to bear, as well. She coughed, choking up another couple of sobs as she did so. N-no... mustn't show weakness before these people. People who looked up to her for strength. It was the way of a King, and the way of a Knight. She had to continue to tell herself that, or she would never make it in this world. Or... "Is there really a place for such a wounded and damaged soul?" Her gaze returned to Hei once more, eyes shimmering with tears that started to roll down her cheeks once more. "I failed to protect... the Kremlin... I f-failed to protect... Ivanka... and Marismo..." She stumbled slightly, coughing and falling forwards, landing on her knees. "All I could do was... clean up at the end... There was nothing, nothing, NOTHING!" She threw her head back, screaming her terror, and her fear, and her sorrow, all into the world of cold snow and white ice. Her head remained pointed to the sky, laughing with a choking sob once more. "W-why... does it hurt? Wh-what does emotion have to do... I-I'm not allowed to be h-human... S-so why must such... trivial thing... j-just hurt so much?" Her mind was so fuzzy, working through everything that she could think of, but it was all so wrong to her. Emotion... what was that feeling for?
Guest- Guest
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
Nyx's ears perked up at the new voice behind her as the woman in front of her turned around. She herself turned to see a face not quite familiar, but one she knew of. Her fellow member of RIOTE, Perses. Or at least, she'd heard about him and seen him around a few times. Her ever-present smile brightening the otherwise depressing atmosphere, she looked up at Hei. "Hi Perses!~ Hmm... On second thought, you wouldn't happen to have a not-codename, would you? Perses sounds kinda funny..." With a friendly smile to Hei, she turned back to Sablya, who seemed rather sad. It reminded Nyx of Ace, actually, when she'd met him. Though if Sablya DID kill a bunch of people, Nyx doubted she was sad about that... Nyx heard out what she had to say about her prior actions. Then she spoke up again, stepping a bit closer to Sablya. If Nyx was good for anything other than serving RIOTE, it was comforting others, and thus she would do such things.
"Miss, don't say things like that. It isn't true. I saw you back when we were defending the Kremlin, and you looked like you were really proud to be serving Drachma then. Drachma's lost so many already, it would be terrible if even one more person was lost.In the end, everything's gonna be alright. So don't cry. Be strong. Be strong for your country and everyone who looks up to you for guidance. If you keep saying you aren't useful, then you won't be, you see." Nyx smiled at Sablya, hoping her words took some effect. It really did hurt Nyx's heart to see such a powerful woman in such a pit of self-pity...
"Miss, don't say things like that. It isn't true. I saw you back when we were defending the Kremlin, and you looked like you were really proud to be serving Drachma then. Drachma's lost so many already, it would be terrible if even one more person was lost.In the end, everything's gonna be alright. So don't cry. Be strong. Be strong for your country and everyone who looks up to you for guidance. If you keep saying you aren't useful, then you won't be, you see." Nyx smiled at Sablya, hoping her words took some effect. It really did hurt Nyx's heart to see such a powerful woman in such a pit of self-pity...
Nyx- US & OURSELVES
- Posts : 187
Points : 3
-Case File-
Level: 4
Rank: Nyx
Writer: Jay
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
News traveled faster than he thought, as Nyx referred to him by codename . . . it was a little peculiar, considering he only went by his given name and nothing more. And now, he had taken on an identity. A role. Such was the fate he had chosen for hims-Wait ... focus.
"Hello, Lady Nyx," he responds in kind to the sudden welcome, "Please, just call me Hei. Perses is just a bit odd-sounding for me." All in all his response is swift, so as to deal with formalities and introductions: But . . .
Now the esteemed individual before him was breaking apart . . . . . . while Lady Nyx tried to comfort her in her own way. Such questions from the Rook were perturbing, to say the least - An individual whose very position was either coveted or respected by many in this country, now torn apart by perceived inadequacy? No ... that wasn't it, there was something more . . . much, much more. The last few words that had been uttered were ... somewhat incoherent to Hei, but he had to say something ... right? . . . Something.
". . . Please ... do not judge yourself so harshly." he begins, shortly after Nyx, speaking again in his subdued tone.
"This world ... this life can be full of agony and despair. Such things corrode the soul . . . we are all fragile and broken souls in this reality, but we mend ourselves and our worth by resisting those two things in life, and therefore bettering ourselves with every chance.
Please. Please. No matter what it is that you have done, or failed to have done, know that your life still has value, that it is precious and meaningful in the world."
. . .
Hypocrisy speaks, coming from the murderer. But there is a genuine plea in these words. The voice of some reasoning spoke in the subdued tone, as ever, but pained now, as well. He knows. He knows that he has taken many lives, and here he is preaching that all life is valuable. And that disgusts him, it brought and still brings his former reality, the fragmented halves of himself, to a shattering collision. But, as he had said, we can only stop moving ... or continue moving forward, and he had made up his mind. So, his words continued, only for a little while longer, hoping that some semblance of sense would make it through to the griever.
"And this ... time ... is a time of crisis. All value that we all have in our lives, must coalesce. We must . . . scrap and build ourselves anew. What is past, is past. Immutable, unchanging, and ever-glaring. But rather than have it be the constant reminders of our deeds ... we should use it to light the way for a future path, one that can amend the consequences of the past the best it can."
At this point, Hei had drawn ever closer, as had Nyx done when she gave words of comfort. Except, Hei had gone down on a knee, as well. Head bowed to Sablya. The previous words he said, while assuming this position, pained him . . . dearly. The sense of worthlessness, or perhaps the loss of purpose. Up until about five or six months ago, he had felt that sensation, coupled with an enormous emptiness, no - an endless, festering cesspit of hate, instead of emptiness. His half-prostration to the Incarnation was from weakness in himself, hate for himself, but at the same time, concern and compassion for this individual: Another soul of Drachma. Hell, if anyone else were to try to commit suicide in his presence, he'd do his best to comfort them as well (so long as it was given they weren't an enemy so that he could keep ... his ... impulses under control).
"Please ... don't let all this pain be the only thing in your life. Accept it, remember it, but never stop moving onward . . ."
"Hello, Lady Nyx," he responds in kind to the sudden welcome, "Please, just call me Hei. Perses is just a bit odd-sounding for me." All in all his response is swift, so as to deal with formalities and introductions: But . . .
Now the esteemed individual before him was breaking apart . . . . . . while Lady Nyx tried to comfort her in her own way. Such questions from the Rook were perturbing, to say the least - An individual whose very position was either coveted or respected by many in this country, now torn apart by perceived inadequacy? No ... that wasn't it, there was something more . . . much, much more. The last few words that had been uttered were ... somewhat incoherent to Hei, but he had to say something ... right? . . . Something.
". . . Please ... do not judge yourself so harshly." he begins, shortly after Nyx, speaking again in his subdued tone.
"This world ... this life can be full of agony and despair. Such things corrode the soul . . . we are all fragile and broken souls in this reality, but we mend ourselves and our worth by resisting those two things in life, and therefore bettering ourselves with every chance.
Please. Please. No matter what it is that you have done, or failed to have done, know that your life still has value, that it is precious and meaningful in the world."
. . .
Hypocrisy speaks, coming from the murderer. But there is a genuine plea in these words. The voice of some reasoning spoke in the subdued tone, as ever, but pained now, as well. He knows. He knows that he has taken many lives, and here he is preaching that all life is valuable. And that disgusts him, it brought and still brings his former reality, the fragmented halves of himself, to a shattering collision. But, as he had said, we can only stop moving ... or continue moving forward, and he had made up his mind. So, his words continued, only for a little while longer, hoping that some semblance of sense would make it through to the griever.
"And this ... time ... is a time of crisis. All value that we all have in our lives, must coalesce. We must . . . scrap and build ourselves anew. What is past, is past. Immutable, unchanging, and ever-glaring. But rather than have it be the constant reminders of our deeds ... we should use it to light the way for a future path, one that can amend the consequences of the past the best it can."
At this point, Hei had drawn ever closer, as had Nyx done when she gave words of comfort. Except, Hei had gone down on a knee, as well. Head bowed to Sablya. The previous words he said, while assuming this position, pained him . . . dearly. The sense of worthlessness, or perhaps the loss of purpose. Up until about five or six months ago, he had felt that sensation, coupled with an enormous emptiness, no - an endless, festering cesspit of hate, instead of emptiness. His half-prostration to the Incarnation was from weakness in himself, hate for himself, but at the same time, concern and compassion for this individual: Another soul of Drachma. Hell, if anyone else were to try to commit suicide in his presence, he'd do his best to comfort them as well (so long as it was given they weren't an enemy so that he could keep ... his ... impulses under control).
"Please ... don't let all this pain be the only thing in your life. Accept it, remember it, but never stop moving onward . . ."
Guest- Guest
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
"Miss, don't say things like that." Eyes soaked with tears stared up to the young girl, twitching slightly with each sob. She stared at Nyx through a pair of eyes that had no discernible happiness left within. "It isn't true. I saw you back when we were defending the Kremlin, and you looked like you were really proud to be serving Drachma then." She choked a little, and leaned forwards, placing her hands onto the earth and pulling the fingers back, making shapes along the dirt. "I-I was..." "Drachma's lost so many already, it would be terrible if even one more person was lost." She gulped. N-no... it wasn't true. She was weak. What would it matter if a weak woman that was serving Drachma just... disappeared? Would it be any different? "In the end, everything's gonna be alright. So don't cry. Be strong. Be strong for your country and everyone who looks up to you for guidance." She bit her lip softly, shaking her head. Nobody would look up to her. Nobody would be there for her. She was inhuman, a monster... "If you keep saying you aren't useful, then you won't be, you see." She breathed out and choked back a few more sobs. Hnnn... ". . . Please ... do not judge yourself so harshly."
Tears dripped from her eyes, splattering on the ground. Th-that was a lie... She had to. If she didn't... then she'd never be able to improve herself, or keep up her stregnth at its usual level... "This world ... this life can be full of agony and despair. Such things corrode the soul . . . we are all fragile and broken souls in this reality, but we mend ourselves and our worth by resisting those two things in life, and therefore bettering ourselves with every chance. Please. Please. No matter what it is that you have done, or failed to have done, know that your life still has value, that it is precious and meaningful in the world." "Hnnn..." She bit her lip a little tighter, shaking her head as if every word he said was wrong. It wasn't, b-but... "And this ... time ... is a time of crisis. All value that we all have in our lives, must coalesce. We must . . . scrap and build ourselves anew. What is past, is past. Immutable, unchanging, and ever-glaring. But rather than have it be the constant reminders of our deeds ... we should use it to light the way for a future path, one that can amend the consequences of the past the best it can. She slowly raised her gaze to meet his, watching him slowly go to one knee before her. Nnn... "Please ... don't let all this pain be the only thing in your life. Accept it, remember it, but never stop moving onward . . ."[/b] She shook in the spot, shaking her head faster and harder, making small cries of protest. It was almost sad, seeing herself like this. She couldn't be like this. This was wrong, wrong, wrong! Slowly trying to stand up, Sablya started to crawl forwards, approaching Hei with saddened eyes.
She lunged forwards, and her body collided with his, knocking the other man over and onto the ground, Sablya pushing her face into his chest. Loud sobs came from the girl as she did so, snuggling in as tightly to the warmth of his body as she did so. She didn't care for embracing others, but she needed this. She needed something to feel close to... "Why... All I want is to be the right knight for my Lady... why does such a paltry thing like emotion have to get in the way? Is it really right... to feel emotion so strongly? Is it not wrong? Is it not something that only humans do?" She slowly raised her head to look up at him, eyes full of pain and sorrow; self-hatred and disgust. "I... Why?" She had nothing else to say, no way to speak on matters of which she had no idea for... She could only watch with tear-stained eyes as she did so...
Tears dripped from her eyes, splattering on the ground. Th-that was a lie... She had to. If she didn't... then she'd never be able to improve herself, or keep up her stregnth at its usual level... "This world ... this life can be full of agony and despair. Such things corrode the soul . . . we are all fragile and broken souls in this reality, but we mend ourselves and our worth by resisting those two things in life, and therefore bettering ourselves with every chance. Please. Please. No matter what it is that you have done, or failed to have done, know that your life still has value, that it is precious and meaningful in the world." "Hnnn..." She bit her lip a little tighter, shaking her head as if every word he said was wrong. It wasn't, b-but... "And this ... time ... is a time of crisis. All value that we all have in our lives, must coalesce. We must . . . scrap and build ourselves anew. What is past, is past. Immutable, unchanging, and ever-glaring. But rather than have it be the constant reminders of our deeds ... we should use it to light the way for a future path, one that can amend the consequences of the past the best it can. She slowly raised her gaze to meet his, watching him slowly go to one knee before her. Nnn... "Please ... don't let all this pain be the only thing in your life. Accept it, remember it, but never stop moving onward . . ."[/b] She shook in the spot, shaking her head faster and harder, making small cries of protest. It was almost sad, seeing herself like this. She couldn't be like this. This was wrong, wrong, wrong! Slowly trying to stand up, Sablya started to crawl forwards, approaching Hei with saddened eyes.
She lunged forwards, and her body collided with his, knocking the other man over and onto the ground, Sablya pushing her face into his chest. Loud sobs came from the girl as she did so, snuggling in as tightly to the warmth of his body as she did so. She didn't care for embracing others, but she needed this. She needed something to feel close to... "Why... All I want is to be the right knight for my Lady... why does such a paltry thing like emotion have to get in the way? Is it really right... to feel emotion so strongly? Is it not wrong? Is it not something that only humans do?" She slowly raised her head to look up at him, eyes full of pain and sorrow; self-hatred and disgust. "I... Why?" She had nothing else to say, no way to speak on matters of which she had no idea for... She could only watch with tear-stained eyes as she did so...
Guest- Guest
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
Nyx finished speaking and listened to Hei's speech. Nodding encouragingly along to his words, she waited for Sablya's reaction. Surprisingly, the woman flung herself to Hei and began crying even more. And then said something about emotions. Nyx's mind darted to Daemon again. Daemon, who had felt nothing for years... Now that he had some emotions again, he was better than before. Emotions were good. Nyx walked over to Sablya and placed a comforting little hand on her shoulder as she cried into Hei's chest. "Miss, you are the right knight. Brave, strong-willed, loyal..." Nyx grinned and gave a light, wispy giggle. "And from right now, stubborn like a great knight too. And emotions are good. If you didn't have emotions, human or not, you'd just be like... A rock! No, rocks are big and strong. Without emotions you'd just be sand. Yeah, that's it, sand. And I think I know how you feel. But emotions aren't just human things either. I'm not really human anymore, I don't think. But I still feel emotions." And without another word, Nyx grinned and patted Sablya's shoulder, confident that her words had at least some effect...
Nyx- US & OURSELVES
- Posts : 187
Points : 3
-Case File-
Level: 4
Rank: Nyx
Writer: Jay
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
To be quite honest. He wasn't sure what to make of this. Or, he wasn't expecting this. Or . . . ah, forget it, he was in pain, now, so trying to figure out what just happened was a little bit low on his priorities.
. . .
Oh. Yes. The Rook had tackled him, and unfortunately, he was in pain since his right arm was still wounded. As in, there was still charred and raw flesh, now reopened upon sudden impact with ground. So, gods help him, he didn't know just how bad the wound was at the current moment, only it wasn't helping . . . that and his chest still freaking hurt when he got shot (and forcibly removed the bullets on his own). Alas, his grimace was quite clear, but . . . he did not say anything.
His silence being the result of years of inadequate social interaction. In short, he had never tried to comfort another so . . . much in pain. Though it was largely an instinctual reaction, he noted that his right arm seemed to be curling around her, placing him in a half-embrace with the distraught one. His right arm, still very much bleeding and suffering minor twitches as it kept shifting back and forth still remained stuck out there.
"Why... All I want is to be the right knight for my Lady... why does such a paltry thing like emotion have to get in the way? Is it really right... to feel emotion so strongly? Is it not wrong? Is it not something that only humans do?"
The Xingese-Drachman hesitated on an answer . . . number one, emotions weren't really something he either liked to think about or attempt to suppress. Number two, Sablya Pendragon had raised her head up to stare at him with such pained eyes that whatever reply he may have had was lost due to what could only be a sort of heart-wrenching sympathy for the sufferer.
"I... Why?"
The silence from the physically wounded male to the emotionally torn female carried, as Lady Nyx offered in her ... well ... humorous(initially), but nonetheless touching response to the questions.
". . . Emotion is . . . the greatest mark of a living and thinking being." he says simply, after shutting his eyes initially. That solitary response given ever-gently, his crimson (why they were such, he had yet to find out) eyes looking back from where the twin bright green orbs had given him a gaze of . . .
"I'm . . . heh . . . I'm not too much a normal human being, myself. But, there shouldn't be anything . . . nothing at all . . . wrong with having emotions. And there's nothing paltry about it, now. It just is, and . . . we all feel them."
. . .
Oh. Yes. The Rook had tackled him, and unfortunately, he was in pain since his right arm was still wounded. As in, there was still charred and raw flesh, now reopened upon sudden impact with ground. So, gods help him, he didn't know just how bad the wound was at the current moment, only it wasn't helping . . . that and his chest still freaking hurt when he got shot (and forcibly removed the bullets on his own). Alas, his grimace was quite clear, but . . . he did not say anything.
His silence being the result of years of inadequate social interaction. In short, he had never tried to comfort another so . . . much in pain. Though it was largely an instinctual reaction, he noted that his right arm seemed to be curling around her, placing him in a half-embrace with the distraught one. His right arm, still very much bleeding and suffering minor twitches as it kept shifting back and forth still remained stuck out there.
"Why... All I want is to be the right knight for my Lady... why does such a paltry thing like emotion have to get in the way? Is it really right... to feel emotion so strongly? Is it not wrong? Is it not something that only humans do?"
The Xingese-Drachman hesitated on an answer . . . number one, emotions weren't really something he either liked to think about or attempt to suppress. Number two, Sablya Pendragon had raised her head up to stare at him with such pained eyes that whatever reply he may have had was lost due to what could only be a sort of heart-wrenching sympathy for the sufferer.
"I... Why?"
The silence from the physically wounded male to the emotionally torn female carried, as Lady Nyx offered in her ... well ... humorous(initially), but nonetheless touching response to the questions.
". . . Emotion is . . . the greatest mark of a living and thinking being." he says simply, after shutting his eyes initially. That solitary response given ever-gently, his crimson (why they were such, he had yet to find out) eyes looking back from where the twin bright green orbs had given him a gaze of . . .
"I'm . . . heh . . . I'm not too much a normal human being, myself. But, there shouldn't be anything . . . nothing at all . . . wrong with having emotions. And there's nothing paltry about it, now. It just is, and . . . we all feel them."
Guest- Guest
Reila TsukinoPENDING - Posts : 2269
Points : 1089
Location : Fort Briggs
-Case File-
Level: ∞
Rank:
Writer:
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
"Miss, you are the right knight. Brave, strong-willed, loyal..." She couldn't hear the girl, and she couldn't understand what she was talking about. Her face was still buried into Hei's chest, and she was shaking upon his form. Humanity was a wrong feeling to have; it was against everything that she is, was and would always be. However, she had to think some more. Was it really wrong to be a human? ". . . Emotion is . . . the greatest mark of a living and thinking being." She blinked, staring into Hei's eyes as she did so. Of course, he was injured. That's why his body had felt like that when she had tackled him down. She slowly sat up, straddling the man and shaking her head. "I'm . . . heh . . . I'm not too much a normal human being, myself. But, there shouldn't be anything . . . nothing at all . . . wrong with having emotions. And there's nothing paltry about it, now. It just is, and . . . we all feel them." She chuckled and nodded, slowly standing up from his form and holding out a hand, allowing him to stand up. "Thank you, Hei. I... think I needed something like that. For now, however, I must continue to think on life and the matters within... You too, Miss Nyx. I shall see you another time..." And with that, the woman turned away from the pair, slowly wandering off into the distance, eyes half-closed...
{My apologies for the short post...}
[Thread LEFT]
{My apologies for the short post...}
Guest- Guest
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
Nyx watched as Sablya listened to Hei's speech. And a truly splendid speech it was, indeed. For twas true; emotions were wonderful, wonderful things, and everybody had them, and everybody should appreciate them. So it did well for Nyx's little heart to see the effect of her words, though mostly those of Hei, on Sablya. She seemed to have changed her views on emotions, definitely overcome the urge to end her life. Seeing as Sablya was about to walk away, however, Nyx brightened up and waved enthusiastically. "Bye Miss Knight! Bye!~ See you soon!" Beaming, Nyx turned then to Hei. Smiling a Nyxish smile, with her hands behind her back, she dipped her head a bit and grinned. "And bye Hei-Hei~ See you later!" And with a wave, the little girl called Nyx vanished into the snowy realm of Drachma, running off to some form of adventure.
{EXIT THREAD}
{EXIT THREAD}
Nyx- US & OURSELVES
- Posts : 187
Points : 3
-Case File-
Level: 4
Rank: Nyx
Writer: Jay
Re: A Soldier, A Knight. A Woman? {Post-Mission}
He ... accepted that hand, it was sorely needed (unfortunately) to get his sorry behind off the ground. He gave a simple word of thanks, the moment he was standing upright again, ignoring the pain from the right side of his body.
"Thank you, Hei. I... think I needed something like that. For now, however, I must continue to think on life and the matters within... You too, Miss Nyx. I shall see you another time..."
"Please, don't dwell too long, there are many who need you and many others who care for you that wait for you." and with that, Sablya carried on her way. Well, Hei had no way of knowing these last words of his reached her, since she was still clearly distraught . . .
"Bye Miss Knight! Bye!~ See you soon! And bye Hei-Hei~ See you later!" comes the farewells of Lady Nyx. Simple, and cheerful calls. Hei merely smiles back in response to her, and waves good-bye back, before turning and walking away from this scene.
Perhaps he should have stayed in the hospital, considering that his right arm was feeling like falling off . . . and what bandages where in there, underneath the sleeve of his jacket, were getting soaked with blood. . . . Alas, another hour and afternoon in the aftermath of Drachma.
->EXIT TOPIC<-
"Thank you, Hei. I... think I needed something like that. For now, however, I must continue to think on life and the matters within... You too, Miss Nyx. I shall see you another time..."
"Please, don't dwell too long, there are many who need you and many others who care for you that wait for you." and with that, Sablya carried on her way. Well, Hei had no way of knowing these last words of his reached her, since she was still clearly distraught . . .
"Bye Miss Knight! Bye!~ See you soon! And bye Hei-Hei~ See you later!" comes the farewells of Lady Nyx. Simple, and cheerful calls. Hei merely smiles back in response to her, and waves good-bye back, before turning and walking away from this scene.
Perhaps he should have stayed in the hospital, considering that his right arm was feeling like falling off . . . and what bandages where in there, underneath the sleeve of his jacket, were getting soaked with blood. . . . Alas, another hour and afternoon in the aftermath of Drachma.
->EXIT TOPIC<-
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