Go Ask Alice

[Anouk Ueda]

Twelve-hundred miligrams of pain and fever reliever sped from Anouk's hand and into her mouth, washed down by just a sip of soda. The fever that had been annoying her all day had become scorchingly hot, leaving her cheeks flushed and Anouk feeling a little dizzy. She was just tired, that was all. Nothing a little sleep wouldn't cure, and nothing two more energy pills wouldn't help right now. All through her shift at the bar, she'd been out of breath, half-leaning on the counter the whole time and not totally paying attention to everything cusomers said or did as she popped two of the white pills every hour like Tic-Tacs. Yeah, the bottle said every eight hours for one pill, but she'd built up a tolerance for them, so that didn't really apply to her. Besides, if she took too many she'd just throw the up, right? Tempted to call Tuck, Anouk pushed through, knowing that this was his night off and with his kids, and she wouldn't cut into that time. She'd gotten on fine for months without help. She'd survive one night feeling like death warmed over.

The bottle of pain reliever was nearly empty when Anouk finally closed for the night, and she'd lost count of how many of those little red energy pills from the Xingese mini-mart she'd downed. She took those every day to get her up and running in the morning and keep her going through her shift, so they were harmless- she'd only taken a few more tonight than usual since the damn fever was making her tired as shit. But she'd be fine. Anouk would get home and sleep it off, and she'd just drive very carefully to get back in. Part of Anouk said to just sleep at the bar tonight, but she missed her bed, and she missed her boys. Even if they woke her up at the crack of dawn in an hour or three, it was worth the exhaustion. Nu smiled. Maybe tomorrow would be a chocolate chip Mickey pancakes day.

She'd nearly passed out in the slow elevator ride up, dizzy and tired, Nu's only thoughts on how those stupid energy pills always screwed her up. They were supposed to give you energy, but instead of feeling awake and alert she just felt like her heart was racing in her chest. Silently Nu made it into the dark apartment and hung her coat halfhazardly on the peg as she locked the door back up. They were all home together now. She smiled. Yeah, she just needed to come home. The fever still burned under her skin, but it had been relentless all day and worse all night. Sleep. Sleep would help. Anouk rummaged through her purse, not bothering to turn on the lamp as she pulled out a plastic pill bottle and a small porcelain pill holder. She shook the tiny pill carrier and frowned as it rattled. Crap, she'd forgotten those two. Sighing lightly, Nu padded quietly to the kitchen to flush everything down. A small glass of apple juice would work, though she'd really rather it be a glass of apple jack. Zoloft and Cymbalta first, followed by two more white pills to kill the fever, and an Ambien to try and knock off enough of the energy pills' effects to get at least an hour or two's sleep.

A cocktail of pills that would horrify most people was a daily and nightly ritual for Anouk most times, minus the pain killers. She'd never mentioned that she had the antidepressants, or the sleeping pills she took every night. Anouk kept them all in the depths of her purse, hidden away from tiny fingers and casual conversation. Glass empty, Anouk pushed herself back off the sofa onto somewhat wobbly legs. The dark room spun. Her head swam. It was hard to say for sure what was kicking in, one or all of them, or none of them. She'd just go put her glass back in the kitchen and go crawl into bed with her boys, if she could make it that far without waking anyone up. The room became black on black and spun hard, upwards then sideways. She didn't feel the floor underneath, or notice the glass as it slipped from her lax fingers. Staring at nothing through the deepening shades of dark in the living room, lavender eyes focused on nothing as the world blurred and faded.

---

Kenta tossed and turned in his sleep, clinging to the bunny that Ms. White had given him that nobody could ever seem to part the toddler from. Uncomfortable and tiny body straining, Ken finally sat up, rubbing sleepy black eyes with a small, balled up fist. He was confused. It was nighttime, and late- the only light visible was the small Elmo nightlight by the door. But Mama wasn't in bed. But she always came to bed past bedtime, and some nights she didn't come home until breakfast. Ken hated those nights. Elmo lights were fine and well, but closet monsters were much more afraid of Mama than anything else.

He looked around the darkened room. Kitaro was right there next to him, still asleep, fists clenched in the sheets, brown curls matted to his face. He was the next best line of defense, especially if monsters moved from the bedroom closet to the one in the hall, closest to the bathroom. Ken squirmed again- he had to pee! But if there were monsters in the hall by chance then it was dangerous to get out from under the covers. They couldn't touch covers, everyone knew that. He looked to the door, almost hopeful for a moment that Mama would appear, or Unca. Unca was just as good as Mama about monsters, but his room was a lot farther than the bathroom.

In the mind of the tiny boy, pros and cons were weighed, and in the end Kenta concluded that he couldn't possibly hold it until breakfast, and Unca was always annoyed if he wet the bed. Slowly the boy turned his body toward his brother, one hand clenching Usa-chan as the other reached down to shake Kitaro awake. The boy grumbled, then growled unhappily, jolting slightly. Unca was the same way waking up, including the grumpy look that Kitaro was giving his baby brother. "Taro, I gotta potty," Ken said, continuing to shake Kitaro's shoulder. Eventually he sighed and sat up, slouched over and leaning hard on his hands. He looked like he was ready to fall back to sleep any second.

"So go." Kitaro sleepily looked at the Elmo nightlight. Yup. Still on. Ken shook his head, finally letting go of Kitaro's shoulder to point at the closet. Oh, right. Monsters. Kitaro looked to the open space in the bed, frowning slightly. Mama wasn't home yet, and the red glowy clock said it was... Well, there was a 3, a 4, and a 5, all in that order. Were he more awake Taro might have appreciated that the clock was showing numbers in the right order, but at the moment he only knew that the first number was a 3 and not a 7, which was when it was time to get up.  He sighed and pushed back the covers groggily. "Fine, Ken. I'll walk you to the hall." Tiny feet swung over the side of the bed and turned around to help Ken off the side of the mattress safely, both of them speeding past the closet door toward the Elmo light. That was usually the safe zone. With a soft creak, the bedroom door pushed open.

The whole apartment was dark, save for the second nightlight in the hall. There were no sounds really, their apartment too high up to hear those night bugs that made the music in the trees like they did back home. Kitaro looked around the hall suspiciously, his hair a mess and Spider Man jammies crooked. He really doubted monsters cared. With a small yawn and a tiny smile, Kitaro looked down at Kenta and pointed toward the open bathroom door. There was another nightlight in there for just such an occasion. "All clear. I'll wait here for you. ...Wash your hands!" Usa-chan half-dragged behind him, Ken hurriedly moved toward the bathroom door, his tiny plastic stool making soft scooty noises as it moved to where he needed it. Kitaro yawned again and leaned against the doorframe. He'd just wait there for Ken to come out of the bathroom and they could go back to bed snce Mama wouldn't want them to.... stay.... awake for...

Something cool and mildly damp squeezed Kitaro's hand, startling him hard. He was still leaning on the door frame. He wasn't asleep at all- what kind of good guard did that? "Taro... Mama's funny." Kitaro blinked. Mama was funny? Well... Yeah, she told the best knock-knock jokes for sure. But that was kind of random.

"Mama's not home yet, Ken. Come on, let's go back to bed." Taro started to tug Ken's hand back into the room, but stopped when he noticed Ken wasn't moving.

"Mama's home! She's aseep." Mama had come home? Why didn't she come to bed?

"On the couch?" Ken shook his head, trying hard to think of the right words.

"Floor! Mama's silly." Mama had come home and was asleep... on the floor? Kitaro shook his head. Sometimes Ken said the weirdest things. But, best to check it out and see what he might have meant. Besides, he wasn't as afraid of the monsters in the closets anymore; even if it was wood, he had his own sword now. Monsters didn't like swords. Unca said so. Quietly Kitaro walked Kenta back to bed and pulled the covers up so monsters wouldn't eat him, and then he snuck back out of the room to go see what Ken meant. He was probably dreaming, but Taro was too awake now to not be curious. Mama was asleep on the floor? That really was just silly. When she came home she came to bed most times, and if not she'd be asleep on the sofa. The floor wasn't comfortable unless you had blankets and pillows, but why sleep there if the sofa's empty?

He walked through the hall, peeking quickly into the bathroom and then back out. No monsters still. Awesome. Kitaro paused for a moment before walking into the living room, really hoping Unca didn't wake up and catch him. He didn't wanna be in trouble for something so silly. He at least liked to be in trouble for something worth it. Now, if there were candy or presents in the living room, then all bets were off and the risk was more than worth it. Stifling another yawn, the little boy tiptoed over the carpet. The balcony door was shut and locked, the curtains were down, and... Mama's coat was hanging up. So that meant she was home, but where was... Brown eyes squinted and blinked. There was something on the floor, but he couldn't tell what. But the living room was clean when they all went to bed. Step by step he moved closer, unsure of what it was and why he was feeling so uneasy.

The shape was dark and hard to make out without turning on a light, but there was one part stretched out and it sloped up and another part was bent. It looked like a hand. A hand? Kitaro moved slowly, wanting to just run to Unca's room, but resisted so he could know what it was first. It may have just been his bad dreams being mean to him again. Something reflected in the dim light, something round. A glass. And the glass had rolled not to far from what was definitely a hand, and the hand-bone was connected to the arm-bone that was connected to the- "Mama!"

Auburn curls spilled carelessly, covering Anouk's face and shoulders. The glass she'd been drinking from had rolled away from her unbroken and left damp trails in the carpet. She was still dressed and looked like she had been walking toward the kitchen when she fell down. Kitaro moved onto his knees, putting his hand to Anouk's shoulder and gave her a tap. No response. He tapped again, and then tried a shake, then another and another, each shake getting firmer. If Mama woke up mad it would be okay. "Mama, wake up! Mama, let's go to bed!" He didn't stop shaking his mother. She wasn't moving at all. She wasn't even making any sounds. The cold feeling in his stomach started to prickle on his skin and make his tummy hurt. "Mama! Wake UP!" His eyes began to sting as fear gripped the child. He knew that when people stopped moving it was a bad thing. Despite Mr. Takatori laughing, Kitaro didn't like it one bit when he helped make the man tied to the table stop moving. When they stopped moving, they didn't usually move again.

Kitaro didn't notice that his face was wet or that he was shaking as he continued to shake his mother's shoulder, quietly begging her to wake up to no avail. Trembling, he stood back up. He had to do something. Mama promised she'd never go away like Daddy! Kitaro ran back into the hall, only pausing long enough to see Ken out of bed and at the door. "Ken! Go back to bed and wait there!" Without knowing it, his little feet were running. No running in the house. The people downstairs didn't like it. He'd be in trouble. Unca would scold him. But if he could wake up Mama, then it was worth being scolded or losing cartoons, and way more important than any goodies worth sneaking out of bed could ever be.

He tried the knob, little fingers grasping around the cheap brass and twisting hard. Locked. A faint whimper moved past the boy's trembling lips as his hand balled into a fist and began to pound against the door as hard as he could. "Unca!! Unca, wake up! PLEASE!" Kitaro sniffled, wetness dripping off his chin and making his breaths hitch. "Unca, Mama's hurt!"

[Jay Furor]

~BUMP~