Monochrome

[Guest]

Soft and slow, the rain tried so hard to litter the payment. Droplets dyed the ground a shade darker and the whole city was pushed into homes. Most people, their families close behind were tugged and led by caring hands to the safety of their abodes, but some more daring would bare out the storm. Cascading breaths of wind tickled her from the nape of her neck to the top of her head. Her hair flew with it, but she remained still. Was this the song of sadness that even Gods played? Perhaps that could be one way to think about it. Her blue eyes moved to watch, tracing the droplets that started coming in dozens up to the cloudy and unhappy sky. It was one of those ironic moments that fit her mood. As if her very soul had made it rain. Irony.. what defined it? Her mind was garbled with emotions she often wondered if they even were her own? Somehow was the pain she felt that of a separate half of her soul? Her sister.. was she okay? It was something that killed Marissa inside. So weird, how many years had it been now, she'd been called 'Deity'. A false name befitting a prophet. She was no woman of God even if he existed, she wouldn't want anything to do with him. He was a cruel man that enjoyed watching his own people suffer like a sadist.

Maybe the rain was a hope of clearing away the sadness and giving a better tomorrow. That was a lie as there was no better tomorrow. Her hand ached, she wanted it, that escape. Blissful pain made the stinging pain vanish swift as it came. She was on her own now, starting from scratch and yet her very mind felt dragged from the dirt until her body physically ached and the worry and strain stained the under of her eyes a dark purple color. Sleep wasn't a release, it didn't work. A well of emotion was locked away and a person left feeling like something was always missing. The blade was hid under her bed and how tempting it still was. Cross-hatched scars that splintered her skin and colored even the inside of her thighs. It wasn't enough anymore but the addiction couldn't bloom further. No matter how good a drug tasted, it was never worth it and eventually the body grew bored of it anyways.

Take a deep breath, close your eyes and try to control the urge. A week. It had been a week since her last slip and yet she would try and yet it wasn't long enough. Her blood wouldn't heal the broken, it would ease the pain. No matter how much she rationed, she couldn't balance it out. An umbrella was in her hand and she brandished it. Keep the water off by opening it and seeking refuge away from home. The black color only blended in with the monochrome world around her. Black white and gray were the colors that life was made of and all the others were illusions to make people think life was worth living. As dark an idea it was the truth, at least to Marissa. Her body shuddered briefly from the cold and so she pulled her jacket tighter to her. What was she even waiting on? There wasn't anything for her at home, so sitting back and waiting for nightfall seemed so much more enticing. At least as people walked by, she didn't feel as.. invisible as when at home. The passer-by gave one look and kept walking, but they noticed she was there. That was more than enough for her. Silently, a sigh escaped her lips. She was still alive.