A Solitary Journey

by **Csilla Angelis** Sat Jun 30, 2012 2:06 am

Sometime in June 2012

It was so close. Just an hour outside of London. Yet it seemed like the hardest journey that she would ever undertake. Getting away had been hard... coming up with a good excuse was even harder. But this was something she had to do alone. The trains hadn't changed, not in all the years. It was still the 10:10 out of London's main terminal. The ride was quiet; she'd chosen a relatively empty car. She restd her head against the window, feeling the vibrations of the train as the scenery swept by. Her hands gently folded in her lap, over the four wrapped sunflowers resting on her knees. They were abnormally vibrant, more yellow than the usual hue of gold. Her own yellow hair was loose and somewhat messy. She tucked a stray strand behind her before snuggling deeper into the over-sized, black hooded sweatshirt she was wearing. Paint-splattered jeans and ankle boots completed her slightly-dreary ensemble. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

It seemed like only seconds later when the automated voice chimed “Next stop, Hatfield.” She shrugged her shoulders, rising and making her way to the double doors. She held onto the bar and rolled with the train as it lurched to a stop. She hopped nimbly down the steps and made her way down the platform. Then it was into the little station and back out the doors to the road. She felt a wistful smile cross her face. It all looked so much the same. She knew the walk she had to make now. Up the main road a mile, then a left. Go another half mile and a quick right. And she was there.

It was quiet, but then again... it always was. The area still had a slightly overgrown quality to it, making you think that it had been there for thousands of years. And in a way, it had. There was a marker towards the front that the ground had been used since the medieval era. But her journey was not so far back on the grounds. Trees shaded the neatly trimmed grass and the stones that dotted it. She stopped on occasion, brushing her hand once or twice along a familiar stone. But her steps led her to a general direction of a large willow tree. Just where the branches started to dip down was her destination. Two stones stood spaced about two feet apart. One was dark gray, an angel bowing in her prayer on the top. The other was of a lighter gray, without the statue on top. This one had a sun craved into the stone. Tears threatened to fill her eyes as she sat down facing the stones, sitting between the time. She looked carefully at the angel-topped stone, reading the names across it.

Idzi Thanos
Beloved father and grandfather
Perrine Thanos
Beloved mother and grandmother

She smiled, pulling two sunflowers from their wrappings and placing them before the stone. Tears begin to slip down her cheeks as she turned to the other.

Damon Thanos
Agalia Angelis Thanos
Together, they lit up the world with their love

The other two sunflowers were carefully unwrapped and placed before the grave marker. “I'm sorry I'm late,” she whispered. It had been five years. Five, long, difficult years. But Csilla was finally home. She was with her family again. She let out a choked laugh between the tears. “I'm sorry I'm such a weepy mess, but you don't really understand how much I've missed all of you. Especially you, Mom. I know you were there... in Drachma. I heard you. But it isn't the same thing. I want you all here now.”

She tried to smile. “I've done so well. I'm a Major in the Amestrian army, Dad, Grandpa! I know it wasn't exactly what you wanted, but I enjoy it. And Mom, I've gotten so good at your alchemy. My best friend Shula and I make shadow puppets! And you would love her, Grandma. You really would. She's wonderful... everyone I met has been wonderful.”

Her smile faltered just a little. “It hasn't been an easy journey, but I've done well. ...I've met someone. He's... oh, he's completely maddening. But I just know that he's right. Just like you knew Mom was right for you, Dad. Even if Mom didn't see it at first. I know Elastor will open his eyes fully one day. He just doesn't move too fast. For every step forward we get, there are two steps back. But one day.”

“I'm just... I'm sorry I haven't visited. I know you'd rather me be off somewhere having fun, but I still miss you. It's hard sometimes. I know you and Dad have been gone for so long, Mom... but sometimes it still feels like it was yesterday. I promise I'll make up for it one day. No, I don't plan on joining you anytime soon. But I promise, when I'm finally with you... we'll have eternity together.”

Csilla sniffed heavily, wiping a sleeve across her face. Her tears had grown stronger and her crying harder as she spoke. It was still always so hard. She sat for a few moments longer and cried silently. Then she wiped her face again and stood. “I promise I will visit more often. I promise... I love you.” She went between the stones, gently tracing the names of her grandmother, grandfather, father and mother. Sniffling one more time, she began to walk away, glancing back once to wave. As she emerged out of the cemetery, she felt her heart sit a little lighter. She still missed them with all her heart, this she knew. But the guilt and pain she had been holding didn't seem to be there anymore. She wasn't at fault for her parent's deaths, nor her grandparent's. There was nothing she could do but be grateful for what they gave her and make the most of the time she had left on this earth.