Ashes of Roses

[Shula Brighton]

This was the second home she'd lost in less than a year; the good news was that nobody would hold it against her. It didn't change that it was terribly frustrating and that Shula would have to start over. Again. On the bright side, at least your house wasn't vaporized this time. Shula stared up at what was left of her house, now regretting that her grandfather had found one so close to Central HQ. It hadn't burnt down by some miracle, but the bombs had shaken the very old house down to the bones, only leaving a fraction of it still standing. Her bedroom was down in the living room. Her office was in her dance studio. Her storage room had halfway collapsed into the kitchen. And her garden... Her beautiful garden was beyond saving.

Shula sighed heavily looking at the disaster area. Everyone who was living in this neighbourhood was long gone. So many were caved in or burnt to the ground that most survivors had just left everything when the left the city to the refugee camps. She was due to head to South, but right now she was still aching and beyond psychologically shot. How the hell wa she going to going to get what Raistlin wanted when all of the resources she'd had available had now literally gone up in smoke? "I'm so boned," she grumbled to herself as she pushed up a broken beam from her livingroom wall. One thing at a time, I guess... And first I need to salvage my clothes and research and books. I need my supplies to move to South because they won't have them there, and if they do they won't be cheap. And my research and books CAN'T be replaced...

She carefully stepped through the rubble, picking up bits of wall and celing and throwing them aside as she could. Her bed was broken but the mattress seemed okay, so that was something at least. Her dresser was beyond saving but the clothes in it... Shula let out a soft yelp as part of the floor shifted beneath her footing, her slight weight causing the debris to settle and her body to fall forward, landing on broken plaster and very narrowly missing a jagged spike of glass from what was her window. Buildings and her body weren't friends anymore. Letting out a soft breath, she stood back up, her fingers hooking into something soft and fuzzy under a bit of cieling. Shula pulled it out and smiled sadly at the toy fox in the purple dress that her father had sent when she'd nearly died after that dreadful carnival. She wiped her hands on her jeans before squeezing the fox to her chest. "At least I found something good in the mess that wasn't ruined."

[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar frowned softly as he stopped just at Shula’s house, or what was left of it. He saw her plucking and tossing aside pieces of trash and trying to sort through it all. He took his hands out of his suits pockets and tied his two cloaks around his waist with the insignias showing both the Black Company’s and the Head of the North/Intel and Major General ranks. The Black Company’s cloak was pure midnight and the rank on them was a sewn in insignia of the Skull and flames.

He stepped through and over some of the wreckage looking about before walking up on Shula semi-quietly. There wasn’t much crunch of glass or snaps of frames if watched where you stepped properly. He put a hand on Shula’s shoulder just after he spoke softly and with a small smile. His eyes may have been fake and mechanical but they still convey a deep caring and understanding of Shula and held their original bright violet color.

” Shu, it’s alright I’ll help you sift through this mess. If you need a place to crash I can help you out. It’s the least I can do for a cute lil’ friend of mine.” He winked at her, the jokingly half-serious flirts still remaining in play as if to try and cheer her up. He kept his playful smile before poking her forehead lightly and deciding to speak in Ishvallen, maybe her natural language would be more comforting to hear.”Whatcha got there? A cute little fox, like the foxy lady holding her?”

He smiled playfully after the statement; hopefully it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise that he spoke fluent Ishvallen. After all there was context clues at to how he could do such a thing.

[Shula Brighton]

Somewhat lost in her own thought processes, Shula hadn't really heard Murazar come up behind her until she felt the warm hand on her shoulder. There was a soft gasp as a familiar voice brought her out of her thoughts, the warm hand confirming it. ” Shu, it’s alright I’ll help you sift through this mess. If you need a place to crash I can help you out. It’s the least I can do for a cute lil’ friend of mine.” Shula's head glanced up over her shoulder behind her to Murazar, smiling warmly at him. She still looked beyond exhausted mentally and physically, her head still reeling from everything, and her body was still aching everywhere. The only real good news was that she had enough pain meds to last her a little while, but since she never snuck back into the hospital...

"Fox!" Shula put the toy down on the side of the bed, leaning against it to stand slowly and turn around. pulling her arms around Murazar's middle. She squeezed warmly, though her hug wasn't nearly as energetic and full of life as it always had been. ”Whatcha got there? A cute little fox, like the foxy lady holding her?” She blushed faintly, glancing down at the toy then back up at her friend, a little surprised but happy that he spoke Ishvallan, more relieved than anything that he was okay through all this. Slowly she let go of him, turning to sit on the corner of her bed. "That's Mischa." Shula sighed softly, looking around at the mess and then back up at Mura. "You don't have to, but I wouldn't mind the company... How've you been holding up? I'm really glad to see you weren't hurt."

[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar smiled at her blushing and halfhearted hug as he returned it. She was exhausted in all possible ways, she had finally been through a real war. It was something he had hoped would never come to pass. He felt weak when she let go, she needed help to get through this delimma of hers. He kept his smile about his face and waved towards her lil' fox named Mischa before looking to her as she sat on her bed.

He shook his head with a sad smile and pointed to fingers from the same hand towards his eyes, he spoke as if with morbid amusement."Even I was permanently injured from the last battle, I fought an opponent who was as strong as I. I lost my eyes and nearly my life through reckless rage. I hope you didn't get hurt Shu." He looked upon her with sad mechanical eyes and great worry, now that she could look for them being mechanical it was all to obivous. The subtle differences...

" Shu, you should never have been in the battle. Your sweetness isn't meant to be corrupted by that horror that I face." He shook himself as if he was ridding himself of any possible omen-like shivers and smiled with false brightness and motioned around the house." Did I tell you before? I got promoted to Major General and the Head of the North. I also started my own Mercenary company up called the Black Company. If you ever need a home just stop by the Ebon Citadel."

[Shula Brighton]

The fact that Murazar was still smiling, even if it was only a front, was comforting. Sometimes we needed certain lies in our lives just to get through the night and keep from losing everything, and someone you care about smiling and trying to make you feel like things will be okay was the best lie Shula could think of. It was one she herself told herself over and over, and told to her family whenever they worried. As Mura gestrued toward his own eyes, Shula took a closer look. They still held the same beautiful violet colour they always had, and that same deep expressiveness, but...

"Automail eyes," she murmured, amazed at how real the prosthetics looked and more amazed that he could see with them. Scientific advances were truly an amazing thing. Her hand reached out to gently brush Mura's arm, giving it a small squeeze. "I'm sorry about your eyes, Fox... But I'm glad you seem to be recovering alright." She bit her lip briefly, not wanting to lie about being unhurt, but knowing that she couldn't say anything about it. Not hurt... I've been screwed with, had a building break my ribs, nearly bled to death, kidnapped by a ninja, brought back from the brink of death, and now I exist as someone's slave... Not wanting to linger too long on the thought, Shula forced a small smile and shook her head. "No... Nothing permanent."

He did have a point, though; Shula felt that she wasn't much of a fighter, even when pressed to it. She could and did defend herself, but... less than willingly. Shula shrugged it off as best she could, her smile warming up again. "You were promoted? Fox, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you... I don't know what I could offer in exchange, though, unless you needed someone there to cook dinners." It was soft, and still a little shallow from her ribs and the strain her body had been under, but Shula managed to let out a soft, sweet laugh. Though given the fact that she'd now lost two homes in less than a year, living with a fortress full of mercenaries didn't sound too bad; bet their place didn't just go poof on them, or at least not as easily.

Slowly she stood back up and turned to resume grabbing large chunks of debris and moving them aside in hopes of getting to her dresser's remains. Her office was further down, and she had a feeling much of her notes and books would all be trashed, but... one little victory at a time. For now clothes would be a small triumph. "I really do appreciate that, Fox... At this point I'm pretty uncertain about what I need to do or where to go."Because technically I'm either missing or dead since I escaped the vultures at the military hospital and by all logic SHOULD be dead...

[Guest]

{BUMP}

[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar rose an eyebrow and laughed quietly and tapped her nose with his index finger ever so delicately. As if she was not just a porcelain statue, but had something valuable inside that would be unrecognizable if the porcelain was so much as scratched. He spoke softly and carefully his eyes searching hers like a seraph in the skys looking amongst the world for troublemakers."Alot of my pain cant be recovered from, and I highly suggest you talking about yours while i'm still here to talk to. Eh?"

Murazar raised an eyebrow to her and chuckled a low throaty laugh that had little ironic humor in it and more of a smoldering cinder left in place. "Then until you decide your bank account will have magic in it that will help you out greatly, and a few letters and subtley that might get you somewhere of a station you deserve when this nation is rebuilding." He raised his head up to look at the sky and pointed upward with a single finger before speaking again." You lie to me as badly as those clouds do before it rains or hails. Few people care about such things let alone watch for them. What use is care in that matter? What good is watching for that matter? People are forever watching things. They should be seeing. I see the things I look at. I am a see-er."

He smiled a small toothy smile to her for just a moment it gave a feeling of animalism, as if he relied on instinct more than thought and the normal logical thinking that people did. Instead he had his own processes and logics that were only known to few and only known because those few used them as well or understood him to an extent.

[Shula Brighton]

"A lot of my pain cant be recovered from, and I highly suggest you talking about yours while i'm still here to talk to. Eh?" With a faint smile, Shula looked up at Mura and held his gaze, partially hating that her friends could read her like a book and yet deeply appreciating that they were close enough to not accept the facade. Shula moved her hands to grab the next large chunk of ceiling and toss it aside, stepping forward carefully to make her way toward her broken dresser. She glanced upward; the wall was still standing and connected to what had been her neighbour's house, and most of the bathroom was still up there. Good. Sure it couldn't be used, but it did hold something she'd need. "I'll be fine, Mura. Really. The scary stuff was scary for everyone, and the doctor said my ribs would heal just fine as long as I was gentle with them."

Plaster. Wood. One of her many books came into her reach, and luckily it wasn't ruined and was tossed onto the bed with Mischa. "Man if Mama saw this mess," she grumbled to herself as she continued to pick her way to her cache of clothing. "Well, hopefully the banks will still work. I have a little money in them now that I've been saving, and if I can get up to my bathroom... I have a little that will help on hand." She gave a small triumphant smile as she tossed another book to her bed, almost to her goal and glanced over her shoulder to her friend. "A station I deserve? Heh, right now I think I'm just glad to be here and hopefully still have a job. Who knows, maybe I'll get to be on the team to help rebuild South since that's where I was stationed before."

Slim brown fingers reached out and gripped the edge of her dresser's frame as her legs stretched into an odd arc, allowing her to step over the last few feet of mess and have something to hold onto at the same time. Shula let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "I know I'm a rotten liar... That's exactly why I've never sat down to cards with you or the Boss." That smile... Seemed so feral that just wore a mask of normal humanity. She knew well Fox didn't play by the rules of societal norm; he was a survivor in all senses of the word. Something she hoped she could be too.

[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar grinned his barely retained toothy grin as he replied and crouch down before walking forward and next to her slowly. As if avoiding anything that might snap or creak or flind with any sound at all his motions were silent to Shu's reckless smash's and shatters. His mind was slowly receding as his thought process was trying to prevent itself from doing just that thing. He was falling through the Gate of Madness, it happened rarely but why now?

The screaming increased sharp as a thin glass sliver going in his eye. He temporarily looked in pain as a wounded wolf does when cut in the underbelly. The look faded away just as fast as it appeared. " Shu..." His voice was like a soft tone of a predator lulling its prey closer." Your setting off something in my head right now that I dont need. I would greatly appreciate it if you told me what happened, because if you really thought it was nothing you would have just told me. Otherwise your keeping a secret because you think it will prevent anyone else from getting hurt. All your doing is hurting yourself more by keeping a secret of lead in your heart, and pushing all others away from you as if you dont care when you do."

He sighed softly at the modest comment of hers and waved his hand. The motion itself look inconsequential. Upon closer look her however was waving a spider that was heading towards himself out of the way and gently setting it down somewhere else without breaking any of the enviroment. He seemed to be a part of the enviroment rather than an intruder. He growled lightly to himself and replied,"Modest fool, i'll ensure your a bit more than just a part of the team if I have to write signatures in my own blood."

[Shula Brighton]

The soft warning tone was enough to make Shula stop her actions as she pulled at the first broken drawer to reach for shirts. She knew he had the voices of several people trapped inside of him and seen that slip out firsthand; this tone was different, though. It wasn't frightened, or asking her to help him. It was feral and warning, and almost seductive in how it pulled at her and held her for a moment. Shula shook off a small shudder. He was right and she knew it. She was hiding something. She was hiding a lot of somethings. But she knew what ones to not even hint at. SHula let out a soft, empty laugh before looking back up to her friend, smiling but still looking just as sad and lost as she felt.

"Well... Let me congratulate you for being the first to talk to someone who is, more or less, dead." Shula sighed heavily, moving her hand up to fidget with her ponytail lightly, biting her lip in thought as she gathered herself."I need to get in touch with Boss, let him know I'm okay... Let him know I'm alive. I said... I dunno if I even have a job anymore because by all accounts, I should be and was probably written off as dead."

Shula sighed again, fidgeting and a little uncomfortable as she moved her hands up to hold her elbows, leaning against the remains of the dresser. The world needed to rewind and go back to where she had her life under some semblance of control. "I was okay until the building collapsed. And then while they were fixing my bleeding and putting my side back together, they ran tests. They know now, Mura. They saw what's going on in my body, and... I got out of there. They have it on record and my end of life paperwork and I almost called a doctor to euthanize me a-and I.. I vanished. I snuck out of a guarded military hospital, and I've been missing for days." Her breath shook slightly, wiping the corner of her eye preemptively. That was like holding her breath. She physically elt better now than she ever had in her life, but she knew just how far her chain tethered. "I dunno what i'm going to doif they sack me."

[Murazar Dauthi]

Murazar paused as she paused, as if he was a hunter that didn't want to scare away his prey. He frowned and then sighed lightly and quietly as a feather floating down from the sky. He walked over and hugged her tight from the side keeping his arms around her waist and putting his head over her shoulder. He whispered quietly as one does to those they truly care about."I've got you little lady, its ok. When you want to handle this i'll go with you and make sure this is handled for what you want to do."

He paused and this time his whisper was like a wise old man who knew better and had done too much and made too many mistakes." Secrets of the heart kill you more surely than a mouthful of poison. The longer you hold them, the more death ebbs at you. You have friends, however broken and shattered beyond all repair they may be they can help." He pulled her back so they could look each other in the eye, despite just how close they were and that it looked more like lovers looking for jewels amongst a destroyed home than a friend comforting another. The look in his eyes was that no matter how much he himself hurt, how many secrets he kept, he gave his soul in pieces to everyone else around him. He was selfless to the point of self-destruction.

The only thing grounding him that even he knew was that he had a chance with Rei-chan. If he lost that, he lost everything and it was for naught. Why bother helping anyone if you never saw the results or knew how it felt anymore? Why be selfless when no one cared about you at heart and truly loved you when no one else did. He had lost everything. He was on the ragged edge of a broken knife. He was either going to fall off the precarious edge or the edgew as just going to break all by itself.

[Shula Brighton]

Shula fought the initial flinch as Mura pulled his arms around her, shutting her eyes tightly and inwardly apologizing that she couldn't fight that new urge. That bastard... Mura was her friend and she knew he'd never hurt her. Was she really becoming that afraid now that the people who meant most to her were also something to be feared? Shula breathed outagainst Mura's shoulder, her own arms finally wrapping around him again very lightly as she yelped from Mura's well-meant squeeze. The alkahestrist had quelled most of the pain in her ribs and wound to optimalize healing, but those ribs were still broken and pressure did still hurt. She breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. She'd needed that hug; ever since she'd left the relative safety of the hospital and was taken by Akiha to Aerugo, she'd needed it.

Raistlin had been calm and slow with her at least, and a little compassionate on his part, but that hadn't stopped Shula from being just as terrified with him as she had while the doctors were waiting for her to die to harvest her undamaged organs. She hadn't mattered in the hospital to the doctors who saw her only as another dying person and organs for other people, and she hadn't mattered to the Aerugese man who saw her only as a tool and convenience to serve his needs. At least I mean something to my friends. I won't let him take them away from me. Shula nodded gently, relaxing against Mura. "First thing I need to do is get to my phone and call Boss. I know he was worried sick last we spoke... I'm sure he won't let them dismiss me easily, and I know having you as een just moral support will help me if it comes to that."

The voice spilling past Mura's lips softened and aged, catching Shula's attention. It almost reminded her of Mr. Rivers at the bookshop, even though she knew the poor old man didn't survive the destruction of Central. "Secrets of the heart kill you more surely than a mouthful of poison. The longer you hold them, the more death ebbs at you. You have friends, however broken and shattered beyond all repair they may be they can help." Shula's breath held a moment, letting it sink in a little. She could drink a whole bottle of poison now and it wouldn't kill her, but the truth? Yeah, that was a worse kind of poison and she knew it. Spade's words drifted through her head. "You're hiding something...so hide it better." I will. I have to. I love you all too much to be the reason you die when I'm the one who sold her soul...

She nodded gently, allowing her smile to warm back up once more. "Thank you, Fox... For everything. You really are one of the best and most loving people I've ever known."

[Murazar Dauthi]

"Thank you, Fox... For everything. You really are one of the best and most loving people I've ever known." He froze like a animal did when confronted by a predator and did not want to be seen. He felt a emotion so rare and unneeded creep upon him like the chill of deaths touch giving you cancer. He breathed in sharply and ever so subtley. The earnest and well-meant phrase invoked fear of himself.

Gurthang Spoke sharply and icily in his mind as the sword was strapped on his back today to hide it under the vast cloak he wore. " So your a rabbit now? No Wolf? No Fox? Hahaha. What a pathetic visage of the Reaper that you are. Aren't you? Soul Catcher. Hahaha." He winced as the words cut to the core of his own soul. Gurthang always did that when he spoke to him.

He spoke softly to Shula as the screaming in his mind took on an entire new crescendo, "I'm just a lonely man who lost everyone and has no one any longer. The least I can do is prevent other people from taking the dark paths where one can only look at the light at the end of their life and wish they could take it. " He paused and pulled his back free and loosened his grip on her although he still held her." Well then lets fix this problem, and see about settling you in a better position than before. After all me and Spade will back you up and I doubt anyone has authority over either of us other than Reila Tsukino and she'd back my decision up anyway."

[Shula Brighton]

Despite standing in a pile of rubble that used to be her house, stnding here this close to Mura after the two weeks she'd had let her forget for just a few minutes or at least pretend to, like she had once or twice in the hostpital while she was dying. She knew better than to let herself believe it for a moment, but it was still nice to pretend for just a second. Shula shooke her head lightly. "You haven't lost everyone. You still have your friends. You still have the people you work with.. And none of us will ever stop caring about you, so...you're far from alone." But as for that path... I think I gave up all rights to ever seeing any kind of light or happy ending unless I earn my freedom...

"You'r eright... It will get fixed. But right now I think just one problem at a time is best, huh? I've been missing or dead for a few days, so they can wait a little longer while I get this taken care of. Clothing, my books and research, my cache, and whatever food's still good." She'd already started treading down dark paths before this mess, even though they ended in failure. The research was still valid, and there were books and notes she'd come into she hadn't even started deceiphering yet; now that the clock was ticking to the difference in whether she'd live or die and most of Amestris' research archives were gone, she needed every bit of information she could find to try and save her own life.

Shula looked up at the bathroom above her and pointed. "Actually, if you think you could gimme a boost up to there, that'll solve one of my more important problems for the moment... Two, even." Two problems solved, and then hopefully most of your work.. If not you've got to start all over again, Bright Eyes. You know he'll never let you go, even if you give him what he wants... She shook the dark thought from her mind, moving slightly to pull a few of the shirts out from behind her, trying to distract her own mind with busy work.

[Guest]

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