The Downward Spiral

[Raistlin Ambros]

Beneath the military headquarters in Kyoto, adjacent to the Imperial Palace, there lie a hidden complex know to only one man in all of Aerugo (The ones who built it were no long among the living). A false wall in the General's office that lead to a hidden staircase that spiraled down into the hidden basement of the Imperial Aerugese Army's main building. It was in the bowels of this ominous underground complex of dimly lit, gray, steel corridors leading various rooms of varied sizes that Raistlin conducted his secluded research. There were storage closets filled with shelves of chemicals, colored vibrant colors, or as clear as water, stacked to the ceiling. There was a vault-like freezer room, with walls covered in thing layers of frost and various jars, boxes, and plastic containers containing corpses and organs for humans and animals alike. Other rooms held gruesome things, such as heads and fetuses in jars, skeletons of people once living, strung up as an example of a specimen. On the further end, down a high security corridor, there was a tightly locked room of thick steel walls and a door locked down to the fullest extent, where the horrid cries of Chimera, so terrifying that one could only imagine the horrifying forms they took. There were rooms far less daunting in function, such as a small archive room, of metal drawers and paper documents, neatly filed away, the records of the fruits of Raistlin's hidden research. And there was the main security and control room, housing power generators, various machines, and a large, state-of-the-art computer with a wall mounted monitor that filled an entire corner, various HUD's and programs and camera feeds running, outlining the state of the complex. And finally, there was the main experimentation chamber, a medium sized room with various metal counters lining the walls, and wall mounted shelves that held devices with foreboding appearances, or flasks and beakers with liquids of unpleasant hues and odors, or various needles and syringes filled with all sorts of agents. There was a chair in the corner, complete with various straps and belts and metal restraints, made of cold, lustrous steel, stained with the blood of its last guest, whom's fate would never be known to those who would miss him. In the center of this room, lies a large steel table, covered with even more flasks, beakers, jars, and instruments of an unholy science, an over head industrial light, hanging from a metal cord, illuminating these things for their owner.

The master of this dismal realm now stood over this cluttered surface, his head bent low, his raven hair obscuring his face, his arms planted on the table as he leaned forward. The room lied dormant, silent, and the walls watched quietly with invisible eyes as he trembled.

"UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH". That blood curdling, tortured scream echoed across the bleak room and the corridors that lie beyond it. The raven haired man lashed out in suddenly with his left arm, covered by a golden gauntlet, pushing scores of glass containers off the table in a violent motion. They slid off the table, falling to the cold, metal plated floor, shattering to pieces, letting their volatile liquid contents spill forth on the ground, which churned and mixed with each other, bubbling and hissing as they saturated. The enraged man, with crimson eyes flashing wildly in his ire, then grasped the edge of the table and flipped it over entirely, the crash of all its contents filling the room with a putrid and choking smell as all the samples and chemicals continued to mingle and intermix. But the crimson eyed scientist payed no heed to the dangers of the destruction he wrought in his rage. He flung himself wildly at the wall, his clenched fists, of golden metal, the other of human flesh, thrashed at the steel barrier in a flurry of agonizing strikes of desperation. BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG. The sound of his madness resonating in the walls of the room as he pounded the steel with all his might, until the skin on his knuckles began to tear, until the unprotected hand began to cry out in pain as a new gash opened up, until blood began pour from his wound, until the bones of his finger began to crack under the constant shocks of his blows.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH". Again, he let loose another agonizing scream that echoed off the walls and emptied his lungs of all their breath. The scream sounded inhuman to his own ears, he did not recognize it. Hurling himself down to the floor, kneeling in a puddle that stung his skin harshly, and corroded his exposed flesh, he stood on his hands and knees, his entire body convulsing. Then, his vision blurred, his voice faltered, and failed him as his throat tightened before he could let another scream escape his lips. The room turned silent once more, and from the bent for of the man in black and red, a whimper was heard, quiet at first, but it grew into an audible groan, and then into a wail of overwhelming agony that rattled his lungs. His blood-red eyes, once so fierce and determined, now lost within themselves, flooded with sorrow and tears, bitter tears that streamed down the man's pale face, trickling down and falling to the floor to mix with the solutions of chemicals that steadily burned away at his body. The man gave no regard to the excruciating pain, as his nerves screamed out in distress, slowly being eaten away at.

Harumi Tsukino was dead

It was something Raistlin had never thought he would hear, he had refused to believe it, he had thought to murder the messenger who would even suggest such madness. But when he had rushed to the throne room, her seat was empty and bare. When he paced throughout the palace, calling her name, there was no one to respond, nobody returned his calls with a cheery "Rai-kun!". The officials of the imperial government had announced a period of mourning for the entire nation. They would not allow him, a man of common birth, to see her body, they would not let him see his closest friend, his life, his love, they would not let him see her until her stormed into the room containing her coffin. And it was then, where he saw her pale, lifeless body, still as it lied, never to stir again. It was then, with eyes shut close, never to open, never to look upon him once more, never for her lips to part in a warm smile, never to utter another word.....it was then that Raistlin had finally realized....he had failed her. Everything he had done up until now, everything he had worked for to make sure that he would never lose her again. WHAT HAD IT ALL BEEN FOR!? He had threw away his former life! he had given his soul and mind to the devil! He had drowned himself in his sin, sacrificed the meaning of his existence for her! He had sworn to protect her, he had sought the power to protect her life, to assure that they would have each other for ever, that they could live happily together forever like they had as children. Why? Why couldn't he have saved her? Why had he not been there to protect her?

Amidst his despair, amidst his sobbing, Raistlin tore open his black uniform and raised a trembling, clawed, golden finger to the alkahestric array that was carved into his chest. It shined with a luminous energy as it passively worked to rid his body and cells of the poisonous vapors that filled his nostrils and choked his lungs. If this ability was keeping this poison that filled the room from harming him, why did the inside of chest feel so twisted and contorted? Why did it still hurt? This........this crude immortality.....why did he still breathe when Harumi could no longer do the same? Why did his heart continue to beat when Harumi's had stopped? Her life was his, he owed all his reason to live, the meaning behind his life to her. If he had failed to keep his promise.....why should he still live? The clawed finger of his gauntlet drew closer the lines of the array in his flesh. With this, it would all end, he would sever the lines of the array and his body would succumb to the chemical fumes. And then he would no longer have to live in a world without Harumi Tsukino. Raistlin shut his eyes and let his mind fall into a dark abyss, taking one more unsteady breathe as he prepared to put an end to his miserable failure of an existence.

[Guest]

She needed to hurry. She really did. Her footsteps silently moved on each rooftop, jumping from building to building, closing her eyes when she landed, opening them again to see the way. The wind whipped past her face, and she was certain that she wasn't going fast enough. Her attempt at reaching Raistlin had failed, but that wouldn't normally be the problem. The problem, this time, was that they had agreed to speak at that time, concerning their next moves now that Harumi had been killed. Akiha cursed herself. Normally, she'd be required to perform ritual suicide, but she had been given the opportunity to repent for this and live, which was certainly an idea that she took. Mostly because she had this strange feeling that she wouldn't die from a simple disemboweling, however strange that sounded to the black panther chimera. And it sounded strange to her.

She was beginning to approach his lair. The girl's eyes narrowed slightly as she dived forwards, straight past a group of people (they saw only a black streak), and right through the door of the Aerugese Military Complex. The girl whined, and stood up, scratching her head. Right. She had to go into the General's office first, and open the door, right? They did say that only one man knew how to get in. She wasn't a man, was she? The girl smiled softly and walked forwards, placing her hands on her hips and trying to regain the composure that she had lost. She yawned and started to walk towards Raistlin's office. She would have run, but she needed to show some composure for her status here. Her footsteps took her to his office, and she moved over to the desk, looking for the re...wait. She looked back up, just in time to see that the wall was slightly opened. She sighed out audibly in relief, seeing as she didn't actually know the code.

She walked slowly over to the door and moved it out of the way slightly, before sprinting down the stairs, cringing at the loud cries that came from the belly of this beast. Raistlin had brought her here once before, and she knew most of the way, but used her hearing to follow the rest and appear in his main room. In time to see Raistlin raise his hand towards his chest. She stepped forwards, and recoiled slightly. She could smell something. Gas. And it probably wasn't safe. Oh, fuck it all. The girl moved forwards at a high pace and grabbed him... okay, she tackled him over.

"Idiot." Wow. That gas was worse than she thought. She needed to get out of here quickly, picking him up and dragging him away on her shoulders, trying to carry him out of the poison. He was still a mess. Sobbing. He looked almost puppy-like, and she didn't like it. Despite everything, she felt like she needed to keep him safe. He had a way of possibly bringing back Haru-Haru. She knew it. The girl's light steps finally brought him out of the room, and she laid him down on the ground. His array was safe. She knew that it would keep him alive. The girl stumbled back slightly, and sat down on her bum with a whine. That gas made her dizzy...

"Raistlin-sama..."

[Reila Tsukino]

[Bump!]

[Raistlin Ambros]

In a flurry of blurred motion, Raistlin found himself knocked to the ground, slamming against the cold floor as something smashed against his side. The room span wildly as his thoughts, feelings, and emotions spiraled out of control, downward into a deep abyss, where reality and dream were one in the same to him. Tears streaming down his face as his blood red eyes gazed ahead without focus, without seeing. He felt around, his hands narrowly avoiding the acidic puddle of chemical solution and glass shards that hissed nearby, though he did not see it. He was no longer in his lab. It was still dark, the shadows cast themselves every which way, forming a mesh of darkness that engulfed his senses. He heard something.....someone was whimpering? Where?.......Raistlin tried to see through the veil of shadow. Slowly, obscure shapes formed before him, vague in form at first, as they grew to tower over him, surround him, reaching above into....into the.....sky? The faint light of the moon filtered through the river of dark clouds that flitted by it, obscuring the light, so faint that all was still nearly pitch black. And the towering object around him, that whispered with the wind....they were pine trees? Was he.....was he back in Takayama, in the Pine Forests? But how? He heard the whimper again.....it sounded like it belonged to a small girl. It was nearby, very close. Raistlin spun around, trying to follow the source of the sound. He reached out blindly, into the shadows, into that endless chasm, his eyes transfixed ahead. A dim trickle of moonlight escaped from the imprisoned sky, and the darkness gave way to the faint light, uncovering that which it had sought to keep from him. A small girl lied huddled, shivering from the chill of the night wind, whimpering as the shadows threatened to consume her until she was no more. Raistlin stared at the child, his mind a hazed, his senses not his own. All that existed were the night, the forest, and the ebon haired girl. He reached out to her, trying to call out. What he tried to say, he did not even know himself. But his words would not come out, nothing but silence parted from his lips. But as if the girl had somehow sensed his presence, she had suddenly glanced up at him, with shining pewter-blue eyes, filled with fear, uncertainty, loneliness. This girl.....she was.......

"Harumi!" he called out, his words able to gain form this time. His voice was chocked with tears, once bitter, now filled with joy and relief. He wasn't sure what had happened...but it did not matter anymore, he had found her! He reached out and clung to her, embracing her tightly, as if he let go she would be gone forever. Never again...never again would he lose her! He would not let her go again! Nothing would separate them!

"Rai" she said, her voice faint, ghostly even, as if it did not belong to this world. It cam from the past, a time that had already surrendered to memory. "Rai" she said again, her voice quivering as she too, sounded as if she were already past the verge of tears. "Why did you leave me Rai?" her words echoed in the empty air. Raistlin's eyes widened, his heart fluttered violently with bitter pain. He tried to answer her, but his voice was no longer at his command once more. "Why did you leave me, Rai? Why did you leave me all alone?" she repeated, her voice becoming fainter with every word. "Why did you forget me, Rai? Why did you leave me to die? Why didn't you save me Rai? I thought we were friends. I thought you loved me" her voice was just a whisper now, it sounded so far away. Raistlin tried to answer, but no sound would escape his mouth. He tried to tell her that he had never meant to leave her, that he did love her! But she could not hear him, he could not hear himself. To his horror, he could not longer feel her in his arms, he could no longer see her, or hear her. She had vanished......she was.......she was never going to return.....thats what his heart told him, as it ached with an unbearable sorrow, that crushed his very being, a force that he could not see, nor could he understand. "HARUMI!" he tried to scream in his desperation. All he heard was a chocking silence. The silence echoed, not with his words, but with sorrow and grief, with regret. He could feel it, he could feel the pain that Harumi felt as her life ebbed away, as death took her. He could hear her call out his name, and reach out for him in her fleeting moments, only to grasp cold, empty air, where she had hoped he would have been. "Harumi.....Harumi........Harumi....I'm sorry....I'm so sorry......please....don't go......please don't leave me Harumi.....please don't leave me....." his voice was nothing more than a whimper, but he could hear it now, chocked with tears and grief. He clung to something, his face was buried into someone he could not see. But he could not feel it, his body was numb. He clung to where Harumi should have been...........

[Guest]

BUMP

[Guest]

"Harumi!"

The word shocked her heart like a bolt of lightning from the skies above. She recoiled slightly from the word, looking over to the side at the ground with a pair of soft brown eyes. Her hand went out over his body, long fingers stretching for the man's hand, landing on his flesh and brushing over it temporarily, before pulling away again. His skin felt cold... She shook her head and backed away from him, looking at him with eyes that were sadder than the world that they resided within. The way that he was, she couldn't let him be this way. Akiha shook her head rapidly, trying to get all thoughts of this man out of her head. Nonononono! He was her teacher and her master, nothing more. She reached out and toppled forwards, crawling towards Raistlin with eyes that were brimmed with tears.

Why do you bother? Huh? A single teardrop fell from her face, and it splashed on the ground beneath her. What... did that voice mean? She shook her head and continued to crawl along the hard and uncomfortable ground towards Raistlin, placing a hand onto his arm and trying to move him carefully. If she could get him into another part of the HQ, somewhere safer, maybe she could bring him back to his mindset? Don't bother, Akiha. Another tear fell, and she shouted out in rage, trying to ignore the voice in her head, trying to scare it into submission. A fist was thrust outwards, the brown-haired kunoichi slamming her hand into the wall and creating small cracks. She bit her lip in a sudden fit of pain, pulling her hand in close and nursing it. What was this voice doing? Why was it telling her to not...?

"Harumi.....Harumi........Harumi....I'm sorry....I'm so sorry......please....don't go......please don't leave me Harumi.....please don't leave me....." Haru...Haru...? Akiha closed her eyes and bit her tongue, trying to get this out of her head! This was wrong! Why was Raistlin-sama like this?! She couldn't stand it! THIS WAS WRONG! Her fist flashed again, another crack appearing in the wall, concrete crumbling off where her hand had collided with the solid wall. Why...

"Rai-stu-lin-samaaa..." Her eyes were brimmed further with tears, staring at the man who grabbed for her with forlorn eyes. He wasn't grabbing for her, was he? I told you not to bother.

"NO!" She shrieked out, the floodgates finally opening and tears falling from her eyes. She looked back at Raistlin, staring at the shaking man while crying over the figure. He wasn't grabbing for her... not for her... not for her... he was grabbing for Haru-Haru. She bit her lip softly and leaned in closer to him, looking at where the eyes were, closed and yet rolling backwards within. She opened her mouth slightly, tilting her head to the side.

"Rai-stu..." She didn't finish that statement. She felt complete while she was with him, but he'd never return her feelings. That man was devoted to Haru-Haru and her return. She leaned in closer, and placed her lips onto his forehead, trying to use the calmness of the kiss to stop this man from shaking as violently as he was. Her entire figure was shivering rapidly.

"Raiiii..."

Kuhuhuhu... You'll always lose, GIRL.

[Guest]

{BUMP}

[Raistlin Ambros]

Darkness. Voracious, insatiable shadows consumed his very being, lost in an unfathomable void, tearing the quintessence of his being away from him. There was no light, there was no sound, there was nothing at all. The frozen paralysis of his existence was absolute. The steady rhythm of his breath, the beating of his hear against he chest, even his thoughts were unknown to him. Seconds passed, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, eons.....it was an eternity. It felt like just that, for at that moment, Raistlin had truly lost himself.....

A murmur, faint, a whisper lighter than the voice of the softest wind......it touched him, gently at first, but with greater intensity, enlivening him with an unseen energy, reviving him from the shattering trance of the void. Who? Who's voice was this? It seemed familiar. Where was he anyway? Raistlin tried to look around, but there was nothing but shadow, and he could not move. Was he dreaming?

"Rai-stu..." a voice echoed, filling the void of his senses. The darkness that engulfed him abruptly receded. Harumi? Was.....was that Harumi calling his name? No....Harumi was dead....wasn't she? She had died....the person he had seen before, that was no spirit...he was only hallucinating, he was trapped in his own subconcious, a wretched mental phenomenon, his sanity must have broken under the strain. Yes.....it was all starting to make sense now. Then who?......a warm and soft sensation suddenly graced his forehead, melting away all of his muddled thoughts. "Raiiii..."

Raistlin's eyes opened slowly, his blood red irises lighting up under the intensity of the ceiling light overhead, his dark pupils shrinking as his vision quickly adjusted. A single entity dominated his vision, a young and beautiful girl, her faced marred with worry and tears, leaning over him, his head resting her lap. "Akiha......" Raistlin whispered, he voice faint and heavy with exhaustion. He examined her carefully, trying to determine what had happened. A putrid smell filled his nostrils and attempted to tear his lungs, only to be eradicated by the shining circle on his chest. Was this....a toxic fume? His tired gaze drifted over to the puddle of chemicals fizzling off to the side. "I see...." he whispered to himself, realizing that he must have collapsed and dropped the beakers of chemicals as he did. He was fine, his alkahestry kept him alive, but Akiha....she was a homunculus, but her lives were finite.

".....you fool you'll die at this rate" said the man, his criticism lacking any harsh tone in its weakness. Raistlin struggled to his feet, his body shaking as feeling returned to his limbs. Burning...his skin was burning.....he stared at his hands, they were burnt, the skin was corroded from the acidic solution he must have lied in after he collapsed, his pants too, had been eaten away at. But the damage was not bad, he had not been exposed for it too long......then Akiha must have moved him.

Standing up straight, straightening himself out, he glanced around at the room, and then back to the girl kneeling down, tears staining her face. Such a mess, he would have to clean it up after he fixed himself. "Go wait in my living quarters" he stated coldly, pointing towards a door on the opposite end of the room, that led to a corridor that led to even more doors. She would be able to find it on her own. Turning away from her, Raistlin walked towards another door, his footsteps echoing loudly off of the cold, hard floor. He twisted the handle and swung the heavy steel door open, but before vanishing into the corridor, he paused for a second, a still figure in the open exit. "........Thank you.....Akiha"

And then he was no longer there, the door creaked as it slowly closed behind him.

[Guest]

"Akiha......" The girl with the tear-stained face suddenly looked shocked, as if she hadn't expected him to speak, as if she had thought him lost. Her face just stared at him, incredulous. He spoke her name... she felt like she was about to break into tears again from the pure feeling of happiness welling up inside of her. She hadn't lost him, he was okay, he was okay, he was okay, he was okay... She watched him carefully, as he looked up at the room and then back at her. She... tried to say something. She tried to say anything that she could, but it only ended with her being interrupted by this man's words.

".....you fool you'll die at this rate" D...die? She stared at him for a few unholy seconds, not sure what to say, not sure what to do. All she could find herself doing, bring herself to do, was speak a few quiet words to him, as if they were the last words she ever needed to say to him.

"I won't... die with you here..." She looked away from him, still knowing that everything as it happened would not happen. It was always be the same, and she would always lose. Even if he feigned sincerity, she was no longer sure. The only truth that she knew was from those people that called themselves her brothers and sister, the Homunculi. They had told her... that she was one of them. But she didn't feel that way, she never did feel that way. All she felt was like she was being accosted at all sides, and there was no way out for her. She watched him stand up, and she herself moved backwards, getting slowly to her feet with her back against the wall. She felt the coolness of it, and smiled softly at the feeling.

"Go wait in my living quarters" He pointed in a general direction, and she nodded slightly, turning towards it, before suddenly turning back and opening her mouth to ask him a question, although he was already at the next door.

"........Thank you.....Akiha" And then he was gone, just like that. She stuttered for a half second, trying to gather her thoughts fast enough to be able to ask him the question that was on the tip of her tongue, but he was gone. And she wouldn't be able to ask him anymore. She turned back to the door and smiled softly, the kindness creeping off her lips.

"You don't need to thank me, Raistlin..." She gave a silent nod and walked off, into the distance. She would wait for him until the world ended.

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