Randomness By Chance~

[Sec Invidia]

Sec wandered aimlessly around Central, looking for some place without the noise, the stupid morons walking alongside him chattering idly about things he cared little of nothing about. Which all of his might he restrained from hitting every single idiot near him. He was almost Grinch-like in his hatred of happiness, mainly because of how little of that he possessed, or rather demonstrated. He actually could claim a small portion of at the very least calm tranquility for short periods of time, though this was only plausible if he were in a silent open space, void of all life other than his own. And sometimes he doubted if he even needed to add himself as an exception. Truly, he really did appear dead to others around him, to the world- Even himself. But today, he was letting a fraction of a small portion of an emotion shine-Anger and frustration- At the thriving masses of people surrounding him. Eventually, he made it down an alleyway, and away from the noise. In Xerxian, he muttered to himself, "Hallelujah, I escaped from those ignorant buffoons, for some possible peace... He spoke bitterly, and he was pretty bitter at the moment. He had just sat through all these idiots just casually killing his brain! It was nerve-racking! And- Wait? Did Sec hear footsteps? He turned around and waited for whoever was there to come around the corner...

[Sal]

Today was a busy day. Pretty noisy, too. That meant that finding some "food" might become a bit difficult. Oh, well. At least there were hot dog stands and gyro places he could turn to if things became too uneventful. His tail swished back and forth through the air as it hung below his waist. It was just so noisy. He didn't like noisy. It made his head ache. With a growl, he stomped through the crowd. People moved away from him when they noticed his growling and angry demeanor, which made it easier for him to spot a familiar face in the sea of people. With a frown still firmly planted on his face, the homonculus began to walk faster to catch up. His target had turned into an alley. Perfect! Just before he entered the alley himself, someone's foot got in his way and tripped him up a little, causing him to stumble into the alley.

"Stupid humans," he growled. Immediately after, he regretted that statement. He knew some rather pleasant humans. Well, as pleasant as they could be, at least. Grouping them all into the 'stupid' category was a bit uncalled for, but...still. That guy really should have watched where he was going. If it wasn't so crowded, Gluttony would have disposed of the man rather quickly and painlessly. Painless for Sal, at least. Sal looked up at the figure standing before him in the alleyway. "Ahoy there, first mate," he said with a sigh. It was a little quieter in here, but given that he had a cat's hearing, it didn't make that much of a difference. Oh, well.

[Sec Invidia]

Sec looked up, prepared to beat the unholy crap out of whatever idiot was dumb enough to stumble upon him. Until he heard the Ishvallen's voice. He immediately changed from his angered expression to a slightly more neutral expression, though his eyes betrayed more cheerfullness than his expression or voice. "Ah. Hello Captain, it is a pleasure to see you. I'm glad to see someone who I don't want to immediately rip into millions of tiny shredded bits of flesh. He nodded, a bit amused at Sal's comment on humans. Again in Ishvallen, he replied, "Yes, humans are the vast majority of idiots in this world. Personally, goldfish are smarter than most humans." Sec was speaking pretty quietly so as not to hurt the poor Chimera's ears. Then he had an idea that might suit both of them well. "Actually, Captain, if I may be of assistance, I can remove all of these urban parasites. Very easily, in fact." And without waiting for an answer, he walked into the street, standing at his full 7'5". People stopped to look at him before resuming their lives. Then he pulled from a pocket on his neat white suit a .9 caliber. "Okay everybody, street's closed today. Go away, or I get angry." Then he fired three shots into the air, before walking calmly into the alley again, ignoring the panicking people running away. In moments, the streets were empty. He gave a slight smirk for a second before it turned back to his emotionless expression. "There we go, Captain. An improvement?"

[Sal]

Sal laughed at Secundinasci's remark regarding the idiocy of humans. Sure, he himself was a formerly human chimera homonculus freak, but Sec was just plain human. That made his comment even more interesting. So far he hadn't met any humans who hated humans, just humans who hated non-humans, and non-humans who hated humans. That's what made Sal take an interest to this guy in the first place.

"Goldfish? Really? Well, it's all just meat to me," he said with a hint of sarcasm. It was the truth, but he didn't think it was beneficial to suddenly, not to mention without reason, tell of his extra little non-human quirk. "Gluttony" was not something to be flaunted at every given opportunity. It was as much a curse as it was a blessing, but it made things a lot less scary. Well, whatever. If his crew found out eventually, he would have to deal with it then hope that they didn't care too much and/or spread the info around.

Sec's method of getting rid of the "urban parasites" was rather amusing. He just pulled out his gun and told them all to go away. That made the homonculus laugh. Once his first mate re-entered the alley, disregarding all of the screaming, panicking people, Sal put his hands to his ears. After a few moments, it was all quiet and empty, save for the two of them, and he let his hands drop to his sides. "Much better, thanks." This first mate of his was really something.

"You know, I think we should pretty up the Ol' Miss a bit." By "the Ol' Miss" the pirate captain was referring to their ship. It was still a ship, and deserved to be treated like one. She may have been old, but still a ship. A Captain's ship is one of the most important things to him, other than his crew. All of a sudden a siren sounded. It was close.

"WE KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!"

Oh, so typical of law enforcement these days. Stick to the scripts used on television instead of using something original. Sal sighed and scratched his head in response. It only smelled like one car with one driver. Well, that wasn't so bad. They'd have to take care of him and then get moving, though. It was very common for them to call for reinforcements.

"Secundinasci. First we get rid of this moron, and then we make our way back to the ship. Then we'll figure out how we can make her fit for a crew. The homonculus took a pebble from the side of the alley and tossed it at the car's right headlight, sticking his head out of the alley to draw attention.

"Hey, loser!" he shouted at the officer.

[Sec Invidia]

Sec grinned at Sal's meat remark. "Well, I guess you could put it that way." Sec looked at the small chimera he called his Captain, and probably his only friend. Well, he was probably the only person on the Earth that wasn't plain stupid, or smart but conniving. He hated con artists AND the suckers that fell for cons. But Sal was smarter than most humans, and not stupid enough to fall for their tricks. Just like Sec. Obviously, he had no idea that Sal was a Homunculus. But he honestly wouldn't have cared one way or the other if he was some mutated giant alligator trapped in a cat-person's body. That would be kind of awesome, but the point is that Sec was as loyal to Sal as a little puppy dog or something.

After he returned from his gun-firing, he flashed a grin at Sal,and laughed, a rarity for him. "I thought it was neccasary. Looked like your ears were about to keel over. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? Some idiot cop investi-" Aaaaand cue idiot cop investigating... "Alrighty then, how about we save the ship for later. I think someone who KNOWS I'm one crazy piece of crap wants to test us." He sighed and put a hand to his head.

The cop noticed the pebble hitting the headlights and pulled out a shotgun, before walking into the street to the corner of the alley. But not before calling for reinforcements. In about 5 minutes, 3 or 4 more cars would be there. He turned into the alleyway and fired a shot at Sec and Sal. Sec, knowing Sal could handle himself, moved to the right a bit, dodging the shot, but not before his clean white suit was scratched by a glancing blow from the bullet. One thing that NOBODY got away with... Was screwing with... The suit. "Hey officer," Sec pulled his .9 again, "I suggest you acquire a taste for lead. This. Is. Expensive. It'll cost your life." He fired through the cop's throat, letting him drop the shottie. The poor officer then fell down writhing in pain, as Sec glared him down. Revenge... Is sweet. Like chocolate caramel cotton candy! With sprinkles!

[Sal]

After noticing the pebble and Sal, respectively, the policeman reached for his radio and began to call for reinforcements. Sal was lucky to have great hearing, he could make out the entire conversation. It seemed that there were 4 other officers (or at least, 4 other police cars) that were going to arrive in, oh, 3 minutes tops. That was a bit frustrating. Then the law enforcement official pulled out a shotgun and made his way to the alley with the hope that he would be able to stay the disturbers of the peace. He didn't make it far into the alley before Sec pulled out his own weapon again and shot the man in the throat.

The officer, after being shot by Sec, fell on the ground, and though he couldn't scream, it was still frustrating to watch him writhe around haphazardly. Sal growled and crouched down to stare the man dead in the eyes before taking two fingers and wiping up some of the blood that had been gushing out of his throat. Not much longer and he'd be dead. Licking the blood off of his fingers, the homonculus turned to his First Mate.

"Hey, I think we should clean this up, yeah?" With that, Sal devoured the man's head, then quickly made a meal of the rest of his body. The blood was just so fantastic, and the flesh... he didn't care much for the clothing, that was just like badly seasoned skin on a rotisserie chicken. Wiping the blood off of his face, Sal looked back at Sec with a malicious grin on his face. "I'm kinda hungry, what do you say we finish off the rest of them and then head north?" As he spoke, another police car arrived, and the man in the vehicle seemed confused to find that the officer who had called for the reinforcements was nowhere to be seen. Only the car remained.

[Sec Invidia]

Sec watched Sal in slight surprise, but mainly amusement. Who knew he had a man-eating captain? It mattered not to Sec, howver, who merely grinned back at Sal, not giving a half a rat's crap that the Ishvallen had just eaten a corpse. So then the 4 cop cars pulled up and the alley was stormed by about 16 officers, fully armed. Bullets were flying everywhere, Sec's large form unmoving, unafraid, and uncaring. The most he did as occasionally duck a bullet. Then, he got personal. "Here's another snack for you, Captain." With that, he pulled a new weapon from his wiast. He was a monster when armed with a handgun. He was magic with a rifle. But he unsheathed a rapier. And the Devil had to turn up the thermostat, cause he was freezing over down there. With expert slashes, and minimal movement, Sec easily demolished every officer effortlessly and quickly. Soon there was one left, whom Sec merely grabbed by the throat and held in the air, before dropping the frightened cop onto his rapier-weilding arm. And all of that was done off-handed. Yeah. Anyways, Sec then turned to Sal, a smile on his face. "That was certainly entertaining.

[Sal]

Not long after the second car had arrived, a third, and finally a fourth, arrived, resulting in a swarm of about 16 police officers. Each of them was fully armed, as if ready for some large scale criminal activity. See, the thing was, they just weren't quite ready for the two pirates in the alley. Neither of them would go down easily, and one of them was a homonculus: Gluttony. Those unsuspecting policemen wouldn't have to worry about what they would be having for lunch, because they wouldn't survive this encounter.

Secundinasci stood in the middle of the flying bullets, seeming not to care. This was rather entertaining for Sal, who remained in his crouching position, just as nonchalant. The bullets whizzed past them haphazardly. Clearly, these officers didn't know how to aim properly. The homonculus just laughed as his First Mate unsheathed a rapier (what a pirate-y weapon, eh?) and began to dispose of the men effortlessly. He found it funny that ONE human was capable of killing so many others, and with so little effort and clearly much skill.

The best part was that Sec didn't care at all about his captain's man-eating acts. This made things so much easier. SO. MUCH. EASIER. Now he wouldn't have to worry about it so much. Sec could kill the people, and Sal could clean up after. Not that he minded, it gave him a chance to eat some pretty good meals.

"Let me clean this mess up, then we can get going," he said, standing up and walking over to one of the officers, seemingly examining him carefully. "If we stay here too long, people might recognize our faces, and that, my friend, is bad for business." He then lifted the officer up and gobbled him up (for lack of a better way to phrase it) quickly, moving on to the others. He finished within minutes, a feat that no normal person would ever be able to accomplish, especially considering that not even the bones were left. Patting his stomach, he turned to Sec once again.

"Alrighty, let's get going before we get into too much trouble," he announced before walking toward one of the police cars.

"...Can you drive, by any chance?"

[Sec Invidia]

Sec grinned as Sal disposed of the corpses. "Well, I doubt that any trace of our being here is existing now, so evidence is on our side. But yeah, I think we ought to ditch." Sec walked in large strides to the first car. He promptly used a sharp forward strike, breaking the window open. Unlocking the door, he climbed inside and started it up. When Sal got in he grinned and turned the radio to a classical channel which he turned down to almost inaudible volume. Turning to Sal, he smiled. "And Captain, I have to ask: Just how fast do you want to ride? I figure you are the type for a thrill." And, in a very Sec-like (Coined word-Secsy xD) manner, he ignored whatever response the homunculus offered and instead, slammed on brakes and gas, letting acceleration build, and finally rocketing off at 305 mph. Then, driving with his right hand through the crowded street with sirens blaring full-steam, he shathed his bloody rapier after sliding it across the back seat to clean it. Sticking his head out the window, he yelled in Amestrian. "OUT OF THE WAY! HIGH SPEED PURSUIT IN PROGRESS! SO MOVE IT OR DIE!!" Again, the street was cleared, pretty quickly, as he grinned back at Sal, all the while driving towards the ship.

[Sal]

Interestingly enough, stealing a police car didn't seem very difficult for Sal to do. After all, Jack had told him that as long as you only took what was necessary, it was okay. Not that a car was necessarily a necessity. He did have two good legs, so why not use them? Simple. A car was much faster. Didn't that make a car a necessity after all? Whatever, Jack wasn't around nowadays anyway, so why worry?

Before the homonculus could reply to Sec, the latter slammed the gas, sending them flying through the streets of Amestris toward North City, and ultimately, the Pirate Ship. Sal ignored the classical music, and instead focused his brain power on how they might make the ship a little nicer. She was a beauty, but definitely needed improvements. After all, what good is a ship if it has holes everywhere? Well, that was an exaggeration, but it wasn't the best place to live, and Sal wanted to change that. He was used to being in a house, with Xan, so something in the same state as the ship seemed like, well, crap.

"I think we should start with the old wooden boards. We don't have to polish the thing, but rotting, splintering, holey walls aren't really nice to look at, you know?" Even if that was true, they didn't quite have the manpower or the funds for a full scale renovation just yet. "Or... do you think we should start by throwing out all the junk?"

[EXIT THREAD (with Sec)]

[Sec Invidia]

(~(Exit hread-Goes to make thread in the Ship for renovations. xD In less you want to make it?)~)

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